The one| Bang Chan X Reader | Stray Kids FF | COMPLETED

Guilt card

During maths class, I try my best not to get distracted and pay attention in class because I don't want to make him mad like the last time.

After class, as I walk past Chan, I give him a small smile and quickly walk away with my friends to my next class.

After all the classes, we head to the small bakery where that cute boy called Felix works to buy some savoury things.

"Hey Felix!" I greet the boy. He looks up and smiles at me.

"Hey! You're Chan's friend, right?" He asks me.

Tessa and Jo give me a look and silently laugh. "Yeah." I reply.

Jo orders and Felix gets the things. We bid him farewell and head to the grocery store.

We buy all the things we need and also a few drinks to celebrate the weekend.

We head home and get ready for a movie night.

"So which movie?" Tessa asks as we gather around the television in our comfy clothes.

I am wearing gray sweatpants and a black tee. My hair is tied up in a messy bun.

"Hmmmm. What about.... Kate and Leopold? I love that movie." I say.

"Okay then. Kate and Leopold it is." Jo says and plays the movie.

We enjoy the story and I once again drink myself silly. So silly that, Jo and Tessa have to drag me to my bed when the movie ends because I was crying tears of joy.

I say stupid things as I lay on my bed and stay awake.

Drunk me is not someone who want to be with. I am crazy when I am drunk.

I sit up after they leave me here. I start thinking of various things in my life.

I take off my tee shirt and try to look at the tattoo but fail desperately.

I put my tee back on and pull the blankets over my body as I sit against the pillow and headboard.

I think of the things that happened between me and Chan. Tears fill up eyes as I think of what my family would say if they ever found out.

I cry as I think of our relationship. I have literally known him for less than a week and I already slept with him.

Gosh! I feel like a slut. My eyes are overflowing with tears and I sit looking at the door.

I don't understand anything about what is happening to me and what is up with those visions.

Why couldn't I just be a normal girl? Why couldn't I have a normal life?

I feel like I am crazy and this is just my imagination playing tricks on my mind or I am just in a dream and none of this is real.

I am too afraid to even sleep now. I don't want to sleep. I just don't want to be taken to the place where I will see Chan and do silly things to be his.

Why am I obsessed with him? Why do I want to be his? I don't want this. If anyone ever finds out they will say that I am doing this for some kind of benefit.

I hate my life and I hate myself. I don't want this life. Not even a week into university life and I already messed up.

"Oh will you shut up?" A voice shouts at me as I cry. I quickly look up to see a young handsome man standing in front of me.

"Hmmm. Who are you?" I ask him.

"Jisung. And will you shut up about messing up? You don't even know how hard it is for me to do this to you and now you are making me feel guilty." He say in a angry, sad voice and sits on the bed facing me.

Wait, what is Jisung doing here and what on earth is he talking about?

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Hugs and kisses from Cheonsa.