The one| Bang Chan X Reader | Stray Kids FF | COMPLETED

Physical

We spend the whole day talking, playing board games, painting, etc. All this takes my mind away from my negative feelings.

But as evening comes by, my guilt dawns over me. As we sit on the bed, looking out the window at the beautiful sky, I feel a pang of pain in my heart.

I look at Chan who is happily lost in the beauty of the reddish orange sky. I blink back the tears that are threatening to spill out.

I move closer to him and bury my head in the crook of his neck and kiss him. He looks down at me and ruffles my hair.

"Thank you for today!" I say as I bring my eyes to his level and kiss his lips.

I close my eyes and stay like this. I don't want to betray him. I don't want to be the cause of any harm or misery to him.

I push him down on the bed and look into his eyes as we part. I feel less guilty when I give myself to him so this is going to help me with my pain.

I am sorry, Chan. I really am. I don't want to let you down. But, I can't let my family be harmed either. I can't let them suffer because of me.

I pull up his tee and I kiss his neck as I drag my hand across his chest. He smiles at me and flips us over so that he is on top.

"You're too good to be real." He whispers in a deep voice in my ear before nibbling on my earlobe.

I moan and close my eyes as I feel the tears fill up my eyes. I blink them away as he trails kisses down my neck.

This is the least I can do for him. This is the least I can do for myself. This is ..... what will help me reduce the pain I feel due to my conscience.

I wish I had never asked the questions I asked myself yesterday. If I hadn't, Jisung wouldn't have felt guilty and I would not have to deal with my conscience.

"Y/N, are you okay?" Chan asks me as he pecks my lips. I open my eyes and nod. I smile and pull him closer and kiss him.

He smirks and pulls off my top and lets his hands explore my body. I arch my back as he kisses my neck.

I push away my emotions as I give myself to him and get lost in the experience.

.............

I fall on the bed as I get off him, panting. "It's seven o'clock already. I should get going. Sorry Chan!" I say as I pick up my clothes.

I quickly dress up and tame my wild hair. I lean over to him and kiss his cheeks. "See you later!"

"I don't want you to go." Chan says as he sits up. "I want you to stay."

"I want to stay as well but I can't. Tessa and Jo will be waiting. Sorry!" I say and walk out the door to the living room and towards the front door.

"I'll miss you." Chan says as I open the door. He is standing against the bedroom's door frame in his shorts.

"Me too." I smile at him and go out and walk towards my apartment. I take a few deep breaths and knock on the door.

"I'll check the door." Tessa shouts and opens the door.

"Hey! Sorry I forgot to call you guys." I say with a cheesy smile I get in.

"Oh you look like a mess." Tessa exclaims. I laugh and go to my room and get into my shower.

I stand under the warm water and cry my heart out. I don't know why these emotions of mine are killing me.

I cry for a long time and then finally get out and walk into my room in my towel and take out a Rose red loose knee length top and wear it over my inner wear.

I grab my phone and check the phone. There is a text message from Chan.

Chan: I hope you don't mind that I saved your number.

Y/N: I don't. Haha.

Chan: I miss you already.

Y/N: Me too.

"Send him a nude or something." A voice says in my ear. I jump up and turn around.

The girl from yesterday is standing next to me, smirking at me. She is wearing black shorts and a gray crop top.

"Hey Y/N! Now, do what I said." She says.

"Absolutely not." I say as I walk backwards.

"Ahhh. You seem so fun but you are just the old traditional girl." She says as she rolls her eyes.

"Haven't I already done enough? Can't you let my family go? What do you want from me?" I ask her.

"Oh no honey! You still need to draw him towards you more. Till, he is blinded by you." She says.

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Hugs and kisses from Cheonsa.