shadows // zerrie au

13

Perrie found herself wide awake on the tourbus. She had fallen asleep when they got back from McDonald's and managed to sleep through the entire concert, but now felt restless. It was 2 in the morning and she couldn't stop thinking.

In the space of nearly a week and a half, she managed to get contacted two demons, something she found extremely terrifying. It all made her wish her Father was with her. He would have known what to do.

She sighed and opened the blinds, gazing up at the sky. The sky didn't have many stars, but the ones that did show were bright and stunning.

"Can't sleep?"

Perrie jumped, sighing in relief when she saw who it was. "No."

"You slept a good 5 hours, it's no wonder why," Zayn chuckled.

"I felt exhausted," She admitted. She still did, though; the nap didn't make matters better, she just felt more sluggish. "Thanks for today, by the way. I know I ruined your days a bit, but thank you for going along with it."

"It's no problem," He lied on the oppsite couch and opened his blinds as well, staring at the black sky. He stared in silence until his groggy mind spoke for him. "Do you think there's something better out there?"

"What do you mean?" She turned her body to see him.

"There's always this great debate on what's real and what's fake, what's wrong and what's right. It just so happens though, everyone thinks they're right. How do we know what's true and what's not?"

"You don't. You wait."

"What if waiting's too much?" He moved his arms to the back of his head. "The world's too much of a miserable place for there to not be more than this."

"Why would you say that?" She frowned. "I would give anything to spend the rest of my days here."

"I can't imagine why."

"Zayn," She drew out, pausing to plop her arm up so she could rest her head on her hand. "Yesterday when you were out for a smoke.. why did you say you wanted to die?"

A heavy sigh escaped from his lips. "Because it's true."

"But why? What's so terrible about being alive?"

"Because, Perrie," He said, stressing 'because'. "Not everyone alive is as jolly as you."

"I think they should be."

"Well, it's a shame we don't get what we want, innit?"

"You know, you should be grateful. I've met so many people who wish to have what you have."

"I don't have anything but people pretending to care for me just to get to what they want."

"Do you think I'm one of them?"

"Is there something you want out of me?"

Perrie thought for awhile. "I want you to be happy."

He scoffed. "Give me a reason why."

She stayed silent, thinking once again. She glanced around the room until her eyes landed back outside the window. She sat up and patted the seat next to her. "Come here."

"Why?"

"Please, just come."

He moved next to her, waiting for her to speak. "Well?"

She smiled softly and pointed outside her window. "Do you know the story behind the stars?"

"They're balls of gas, what is there to them," he huffed.

"They're not just that. You know, when someone dies, they don't just get buried inside the ground and rot."

"What, do they rejuvenate?"

She laughed quietly and elbowed him. "No. Their souls become stars. They fly all the way up the minute they pass away and then find themselves in heaven."

"I don't believe in religion, sorry, babe."

"I'm not telling you to do that," She rolled her eyes. "I'm saying they all have a life. I think you need some faith."

"What would I have faith in?"

"Me."

He stayed silent. They sat cross legged, looking outside the window.

"I've been wanting to quit, you know," He blurted.

"Smoking?"

"Yeah," He coughed. "I uh, I've never told anyone, but I started ever since I joined X Factor."

Perrie smiled sympathetically. He was opening up to her on his own. "Tell me all about it."

"It was hard," He sighed. "I loved being on the show and being with the lads, but it was hard. My dad sorta kept me going.  He passed away a year ago."

"I'm sorry about your loss."

"It's fine. He was a shit dad," He laughed dryly. "He got drunk every night, he talked me down all the time, and fed off the money I made."

"You shouldn't speak of your father like that," She scolded.

"I know, I know. But I hated him. He pulled me down every time I felt remotely okay and I was done trying to figure out what he wanted from me. I know it pissed him off."

"What are you going to do now that he's gone?"

"I wanna give smoking the boot, but it's too much now," He ran a hand through his hair.

Perrie bit her lip. "I'll tell you what. You give up smoking and I'll help you. Have faith in me. Maybe you don't believe in God, but believe in me. Please."

"You're too good for this world," He said, giving her a faint, small smile. She smiled back, well aware he couldn't see her, though.

Her eyes were heavy now, begging to be closed. She yawned, making him chuckle. She leaned against him, her head dropping to his shoulder. He glanced down at her, surprised, but didn't move.

"I'm going to sleep now," She whispered.

"Okay."

She lied down, her head on his lap. "Nanite."

He gulped quietly, placing his hand on her shoulder. "Goodnight."