Strange Benefits (James Potter)

eighteen

note: a filler with a shitty ending lol
also: i would like to thank all of you for the reads, votes, and comments. it's my first time going this far into writing a story before and it's amazing to know that people actually enjoy reading my work. with that said, i would like to specifically thank a few accounts who make me happy constantly with their comments almost every chapter!
@-bloodypadsfoot
@demigod_wannabe
@BritisBack
@kendeeyy
@Deviancee

I hope I actually got your usernames right. lol.

Milla had been fidgeting since the previous night's accident from detention. Her stomach won't accept any food or beverage, her eyes were slightly swollen red from lack of sleep, lips chapped from the cold, and hair a nest. In other words, Milla Rosamund was a mess. A guilty mess.

She just kissed someone else's boyfriend last night. Granted, she pushed him away and didn't respond, but to her, a kiss is still a kiss.

It's funny how just a mere touch of their lips feels more sinful than everything they did before.

Dragging her feet while she walked, Milla felt like a zombie. People were staring at her like one, anyway. Perhaps they weren't used to seeing the head girl so disheveled. After all, she was the girl whose boyfriend broke up with over summer and had no friends but still managed to raise her chin up and strut like nothing mattered. If only.

She lets out a quiet shriek when hands touched her shoulders intending to surprise her. "Lily," she almost ran at the sight of the redhead but she composed herself just in time. "W-what's up?"

The girl smiled kindly at her and walked in pace with her, but Milla could tell she had concern written all over her face despite her lips being curled up. "Milla, I'm sorry but you look dead,"

She snorted despite her nerves, ruffling her hair consciously but not saying anything. Lily frowned at the head girl and lays a hand on her shoulder.

"Is there something wrong?" she asks. "I know you're usually alone but I feel like something's going on with you. I just want you to know that I'm here for you, alright?"

Milla's knees weakened only slightly. She could feel the tears burning in her eyes so she looked down to hide them and bit her lip to keep from trembling. She just wanted to skip the day and cry every emotion out. Lily truly was kind, and she didn't deserve it. She didn't deserve Lily Evans. "Thanks," she whispers, quietly so the redhead wouldn't hear the break in her voice.

"You're welcome anytime, Milla. Any friend of James is a friend of mine,"

Right. She almost forgot. For a while there had been rumors going around about James and Milla, and a few people saw them kiss too. She guesses everyone settled with the term 'friends' for the both of them.

The two girls parted ways and finally in a deserted hallway, Milla lets a few tears fall down her face.

-

James had been unusually quiet all day. The Marauders had been hanging out in the Quidditch stands after classes, and all of them were engaging in random conversations except the bespectacled boy.

He made a mistake.

His lips burned at the thought and his chest felt heavy. He was feeling all sorts of guilt, regret, confusion, and frustration all at the same time. For once in his life, he couldn't find it in himself to confide with his best friends in fear of judgement or having actual proof that he did what he did.

He made a mistake, but the worst thing was it hadn't felt like one.

Sirius had been watching him with a careful eye throughout the day, maintaining his jokes and goofy comments while trying to figure out what's wrong. He noticed that James had been maturing this term, but mature is very different from miserable. It was a far cry from how he expected the hazel-eyed boy to act after finally having Evans as his girlfriend.

There was only one person left who could cause such damage to his best friend. Sirius knew James; they were practically brothers at this point, and it didn't take much long for him to make a conclusion.

Seeing an opportunity while Remus was busy reading and Peter was doing his own thing, he got up and sat with a small thump next to the head boy. "So, did you sleep with Rosamund or is it something else?"

"What?" James exclaimed, wide-eyed. "No! What the bloody hell, Padfoot?"

He shrugged and chuckled nonchalantly and put an arm around his best friend. "Prongs, mate, don't even waste a second trying to pretend or deny that I don't know you because I do. Now tell me,"

James' face crumpled and tears brimmed his eyes but he was swift to wipe them away with the sleeves of his robe. "I kind of fucked up, Sirius." he sniffed and rubbed the tip of his nose. "I kissed her. I know I'm supposed to regret it but I don't,"

"Do you like Milla?" he asked the million dollar question. His questioned hanged in the air for quite a while, both of them just absorbing the reality of things. It was at this moment that Sirius knew they were growing up.

Sure, Remus still likes chocolate more than anything and Peter still loves sneaking food into classrooms and the library, and Sirius still flirts a lot and James was still a prank mastermind, but a whole other things have become them, too. There is a war brooding, and there are serious problems regarding feelings and love and all that shit that never really mattered to them before. They were growing up, and hell if it's not stressful and every bit as tiring as the adults make it seem to be. Lost in thought, Sirius repeated his question. "Do you like her, Prongs?"

James looked straight ahead. "I love Lily,"

Sirius snorted. "Not the answer I was looking for." He then sighed and looked at his friend. "James, it's alright to love them both at the same time. Not every love is the same. I know I talk a lot of shit and I'm never serious— well,"

The head boy glared at his friend's impending pun to cut him off. Sirius chuckled and shook his head. "My point is, don't beat yourself up over it. You like Milla, fine. You love Lily, doubtful, but sure if you say so. It's okay, Prongs. Take all the time you need to figure it out."

"You're shit at giving advice, Padfoot," James claims, jokingly nudging the long-haired boy. "But thanks anyway. You get an A for effort."

The boy donned a cheshire cat grin and wiggled his eyebrows. "The chicks dig it, the advice thing."

"You're such a git, Sirius," Remus, who had been listening in on their conversation, butted in, throwing a small pebble at the taller boy.

Sirius rolled his eyes. "And you, a classic eavesdropper." The scarred boy made a face but said nothing, putting focus once more to the book he's reading.

James looked at his friends, and for a while he knew he could forget about his problems as long as he's with them. For a while, because just like what Sirius had said, he has things to figure out.

-

I hope I made my portrayal of James and the other Marauders clear. I wanted to show a different, more mature side to them, because they're in their final year and a lot has been happening in the wizarding world in this timeline and i feel like it's time they grow up. so the marauders in this story are a little different from what we're all used to.

I also would like to clear up that Lily is actually genuinely kind here because the queen deserves nothing less. i'm not fond of making another female a villain so that the main ofc can swoop in and get the boy or in this case, James. Plus I think it adds more conflict to make her this way because now everyone is feeling guilty lol.

Well, that was a long-ass note. Adieu.