Strange Benefits (James Potter)

twenty three

note: i hope this chapter helps to establish the characters' personalities deeper. i feel like throughout the course of this story, i didn't give much attention to that and so i'm starting now.
also: holy shit guys we just hit 5k reads 😭 tysm

As much as Milla would like to applaud herself for not freaking out every time she sees the Marauders, that wouldn't really be particularly true. She freezes like a deer caught in headlights whenever she catches sight of them or even merely hear their voices. It's ironic how a few days ago, she demands the boys to explain to her what the bloody hell was going on but here she is, running away from them.

Out of all the four of them, it was surprisingly Sirius who seems persistent for her company the most.

He caught her with her guards down one lonely evening in the library, eating a turkey sandwich all by her lonesome self (in secret, of course) just like the old times. She almost jumped in her seat when he plopped down on the chair next to her and gave her one hard look enough to make her stay. He sighs deeply and opens his mouth but doesn't say anything for a while. It's as if what he's about to tell her physically pains him. She nodded to urge him on.

Frowning, he spoke up. "Remus was bitten by a werewolf when he was just a boy, Milla, just turned 5 if I remember correctly." He shakes his head, remembering the pain and self-disgust on his best friend's face when they were in second year and they had confronted him with the truth. "James and I would wonder why he would disappear once a month, and it didn't take long for us to figure it out."

Milla put a hand against her mouth, pity spreading in her bones for the scarred boy. It was so easy to fear and to loathe werewolves or any other dark creatures, but few people think that what's underneath their layers of monstrosity is a person, just like any of them; a person who deserved everything and gets nothing.

"Milla, you have to understand. Remus hates this side of himself. He absolutely hates it. The amount of self-disgust and shame we have to drive out of his system is astounding. You cannot act differently around him, I'm begging you," if there were tears pooling in Sirius Black's eyes, she wouldn't know. Her vision was too blurry as well to see clearly. "James, Peter and I decided that being animagi would help Moony during his transformations. We didn't care if what we're doing was illegal, all we cared about was him."

Sniffing, he ruffled his hair. "He is still the same witty, smart, sometimes uptight but ever kind Remus. I hope you won't let this knowledge blind you, and that you learn to accept him for what he is,"

Milla wipes away her tears and grabs Sirius by his shaking hand. "You didn't have to tell me that in the first place, Black. I already treat him like a brother anyway,"

He grins, the familiar light returning in his eyes. "Thanks, Rosamund."

It was in that moment that Milla truly understand the nature of the Marauders' relationship with each other. They weren't simply friends; they were family in every sense of the word if not by blood. The amount of sincerity, concern, and love she felt coming from Sirius towards Remus that night was enough proof of that.

And when Sirius pulled her in for a much-needed hug, taking comfort in each other, she had to take a second to thank her lucky stars and whoever is up there that she gets to call those four boys her friends. 

-

It was already past ten when Milla returned to her dorm. A loud thud was heard coming from James' room, and for a moment she allowed herself to think that perhaps Lily was in there as well. Perhaps, James was busy with her. But she knew that Lily was not the type of girl to sneak around. She was far too proper for that.

Unlike me. She shook herself from her bitter thoughts.

In two steps, to her surprise, she was in front of his door and was opening it. He didn't move at the sound and remained still on his bed, lying on his back and staring at the ceiling. To his right near the study desk lay a book on the floor, explaining the thud she heard. She sighs and drops on her back beside him.

"Are you done avoiding me now?" he asks bitterly, barely sparing her a glance.

She gulps and clears her throat. "I wasn't avoiding you, I was simply..." she trailed off. "—thinking."

He didn't respond, but he didn't make her leave either, so she took it as a sign to continue. "Sirius and I talked about...well, everything. And I want you to know that I'm sorry, for distancing myself. I was just shocked and I didn't know how to process the information that I wasn't ready to acquire." She takes a deep breath, fiddling with her thumbs. "I also need you to know that I admire you; I admire you boys for going to such measures to help a friend. And I'm honored to call you guys that—my friends, if you still consider me one."

She waited for a beat of silence before sighing and turning her head to look at him. Even in the pale moonlight, James looked otherworldly handsome. It's a word she seems to use to describe him a lot nowadays, when she's admiring him from afar or when he's laughing at something the boys said next to her. He always looked good, with his often crooked glasses perched lowly on his nose and his rich brown curls. Milla misses the times she could freely run her hands through them, or grip his nape by her fingers in moments of sheer pleasure or adoration. She misses James Potter, but he's right next to her.

When she moved to get up with a heavy heart, James suddenly grips her wrist and pulls her back down. She makes no noise when he pulls her in close, in a spooning position and nuzzles his nose in her hair.

"Thank you, Milla," he whispers, breath blowing against her neck and making her shiver. "Thank you,"

She didn't dare let her mind wander to the redhead who wouldn't be so pleased to find her boyfriend in such a compromising position. Friends spoon, right? Friends can cuddle.

Keep lying to yourself, her subconscious yells at her when sleep comes to claim her. His soft snores could be heard, and she shifted so that she's facing him.

She watches his parted lips and how his thick brows furrow, and lets out a soft smile. "No, Potter, thank you."

-

what a crap ending lol. this chapter took a little amount of research, so yes, the story about remus is canon and i got it from pottermore. anyways, thank you for all the votes, reads and comments! I love you guys!