Strange Benefits (James Potter)

thirty

note: i cannot believe this is already chapter 30!
thank you so much for the 26k reads! Never would i have imagined that people would actually read this book when I posted the first chapter. thank you so much ❤️
also: i appreciate James and Sirius' friendship so much, and i feel like i don't write about them enough hence, this sort of filler chapter.

Sirius Black has always considered himself a decent friend. Sure, he can be a pain in the arse sometimes, but he always had his best friends' interests at heart. More than that, Sirius is one grateful piece of shit, which is why when James more than willingly offered him a home when he ran away from his family, he made it his life's task to keep the bespectacled boy safe and happy. They were brothers, in almost every sense but blood. And even though he sort of owes James his life, brothers still nag and annoy each other.

"Prongs," he sang, poking the blushing boy who sat rather dreamily at his chair by the window. In his hands, he was clutching a letter like a lifeline, a grin almost splitting his face.

He ignored Sirius, making the Casanova growl playfully and try to snatch the paper from his hands. "Oi!" James yelps, quickly folding the paper and shoving it in his pocket.

"We both know it's from Milla so might as well let me read it!"

James shook his head. "Bugger off, Padfoot! If you've got nothing better to do, just send a howler to annoy Severus or something,"

"Since when did Snivellus become Severus?" he asked as if disgusted by the mere mention of the name. "C'mon! Just let me read a little!"

"No!"

Sirius stomped his feet like a kid. "Fine, but I won't show you what Rosamund got me for Christmas!"

Suddenly the head boy's brown eyes widened, almost running to Sirius and grasping the long-haired boy by the shoulders and shaking him. "She got you something?!"

"Well, duh?" he retorted, rolling his eyes. "We're her friends too, you know, Potter. In fact she gave me a bunch of things!"

James frowned. Sure, Milla had only given him one present, but it was special. It had meaning. That had to count for something, right? "What things?"

"You show me yours and I'll show you mine," Sirius smirked, quirking an eyebrow.

"You're a shite best friend, Sirius."

"Ouch, Prongs! That hurt!"

In all honesty, Sirius was a tiny bit concerned for his friend. Never before has he seen James so smitten; not even with Lily. Sometimes he feels as if the boy had been under a serious spell or love potion with the way he acts whenever Milla's around or when someone mentions the blonde girl.

Fine, Sirius has never really been into serious relationships. He liked girls and the attention they give him. He's had girlfriends before, but no one who he could say he really felt something for. Everything is all about hook ups and whatnot. But that doesn't mean he cannot recognize a lovesick fool right in front of his eyes! If James Potter could physically melt at the sight of the head girl, Sirius has no doubt his friend would have turned into mush long before the two heads even hooked up.

The long-haired boy's one fear, though, was his friend getting hurt. They are brothers, after all. And he knew that James loved with all of him, whether it be his family or his friends or—even if he's not admitting it yet—Rosamund. Through layers of trickeries and mischief and pranks, James was genuinely a nice guy. He was serious about Milla, and Sirius could only hope to Merlin and all the gods that Milla is the same with him.

He glanced at James who had settled on his twin-sized bed against the wall, hands both behind his head as he gazed at the ceiling. Sighing heavily, all teasing and probing forgotten, Sirius plopped noisily beside him. "You and Rosamund... you're pretty serious about her, huh?"

"Yeah," James breathed out, pursing his lip in thought. "I guess."

Sirius snorted. "You guess? Well that's just bullshit, Prongs."

"I just... We all kind of started this all backwards haven't we?" The bespectacled boy sat up, back against the headboard. "We've known each other for years, but only recently talked to each other. And then we have sex—the best sex, by the wa—"

The grey-eyed boy scrunched up his nose, cutting off his friend. "Too much information, James."

"Sorry," he muttered, blushing lightly. "Anyways, so we hook up, do this whole casual no strings attach thing, I go out with another girl, we stop hooking up, I date another girl—"

"I think I get what you mean, Prongs. Now get to the bloody point."

James rolled his eyes but continued nonetheless. "I just want to get to know her on more than just a physical level, you know?" Sirius hummed in reply. "I want to be able to know all the little things, even the most random and common ones like how she likes her tea or maybe she doesn't like tea at all! Maybe she's a coffee person, Merlin, I don't know!"

"So let me get this straight," Sirius sat up as well, furrowing his eyebrows. "You want to know if she likes coffee or not?"

The head boy groaned, throwing his head back. "No, that's not the point!" He paused, before a small smile made its way to his lips. "I want to know her, the real Milla. In every sense. Because yeah, I know exactly what to do with my mouth to make her come undone in five seconds, and I know exactly where to kiss or touch to make her putty in my hands. But at the end of the day, are those things really important?"

"Uh, yes..?" Sirius trailed off, confused, but James ignored him.

"I mean, do they really matter? If I'm going to fall in love with somebody, shouldn't I love her for more than just her body and more than the sex, no matter how amazing?"

"So you're saying..."

"I'm saying," James held his breath. "I could fall in love with this girl, Padfoot. It would be so easy to fall in love with her. And I just might, Merlin, maybe I already am falling. I don't know. But I know that I could. And I want to make it right."

The two friends sat speechless for a few ticking seconds, the emotion from James' words shocking them both. Finally, after what seemed like forever but was actually just a few minutes, Sirius patted his brown-eyes friend on the shoulder. "You know, James, you're already half the man that I'll ever be. And I'm incredibly proud of you."

They sat there, the two brothers, beaming softly at each other before Sirius grinned wickedly. "Now let me read the bloody letter!"

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this was supposed to be longer but i decided to cut it. thank you for reading! please vote and comment your thoughts!