Strange Benefits (James Potter)

twenty five

note: thank you so much for the 9k reads! i'm shaking with happiness ily guys!
also: i'm sorry for the slightly late update! i've been busy lately because i'm moving out to attend university in august so that's been occupying my free time. more updates soon!

James had never ran as fast as he was doing now, past the crowded hallways and gossiping paintings, past everyone and towards her. Always towards her.

His heart had been beating loudly against his chest that he feared everyone would hear it make a sound, but nothing beats his fear of oblivion on what's to happen next. Still, his feet padded heavily against the concrete floors of Hogwarts and he ran and ran. Pushing the doors to the great hall open with a loud smash, all conversations halted to look at the panting boy almost looking ready to pass out in front of half the student body. In the Gryffindor table, his friends had stood up to look at him with concern and behind them, Milla stood.

Her dirty blonde hair had been braided quite messily and is resting on one shoulder, blue eyes searching his for any sign of danger. He realized then that his not so subtle entrance could mean a thousand different things to the people there to witness it but at the time he didn't have it in himself to care.

Remus and Sirius easily towered over Milla, their tall, lanky bodies shielding her frame away from his eyes if not for the head girl stepping aside to reveal herself. Peter's even shorter frame stood concerned as well but the boy had not let go of his fried chicken in hand. Still breathing heavily, James slowly approached them, eyes locked to Milla's bright blue ones.

"You told me it was a stupid idea," he began, voice echoing loudly against the silent hall. All were watching his every move but he was only watching the twitch of shock that settled on her features and the way her fingers fumbled with each other to ease her nerves. "And that I was even more stupid to come up with it in the first place."

She watched him carefully, trying to assess what he was trying to say and trying to keep calm. "James..." she trailed off in warning, unsure where the far from private conversation would lead.

He paused, trying to even his breaths. His heart was racing still, but all he could think about was her. And how could he have been blind all this time, pining for another girl when she was right there in front of him, when he already had her in his arms, when he had claimed her as his on many nights, and when she was everywhere he looked and everything he had ever needed?

"Milla," he almost whispered her name but she heard him. James knew she heard him because he knew her. He knew that the small breath she released from her plump lips was indication that she was holding on to every word, every sound that would come out of his mouth. "You're right in front of me but I miss you," he admitted, shrugging and chuckling like he was saying the most normal thing.

Sirius and Remus had mirrored expressions of shock and dropped jaws, not believing that their Prongs would actually be doing this.

"Am I imagining this?" Sirius asks, to which Remus replied: "If you are then we must be imagining the same thing,"

"And I don't just miss your lips or your skin or your eyes," James continued. "I miss everything. I... I miss when you would tease the fuck out of me as if we've been best friends our whole life, or how you don't take shit from anybody, even from me—Sorry for the language professor," he added after hearing McGonagall clear her throat. "And you tell me exactly what's on your mind despite being rude and blunt. You're the most honest, carefree, and beautiful person I've ever known and I had been so stupid to let you pass me by,"

She shook her head at him, silently telling him to stop but he continued walking towards her until he's right in front of her, Sirius, Remus and Peter giving way. "Potter, don't—"

"I like you, Rosamund," he confessed, hearing collective gasps from the listening crowd. "I like you a lot, more than I've ever liked anybody before. And even if I'm still not sure how to label my feelings for you, I know that feelings as strong as the ones I have should not be ignored. And I know that right now, I could kiss you in front of the whole damn school and I wouldn't give a fuck."

"Language," Professor McGonagall interrupted, adjusting her eyeglasses and peering down at her two students. James sent her an apologetic smile before turning towards the head girl again.

Taking a deep breath, he took her hand into his shaking ones and squeezed them. "I know I've been stupid and you probably felt like I dropped you as easily as I dropped Divination as an elective, but even I was blind to my own feelings. I thought that it wouldn't be possible to actually like you like that and that I couldn't ask for more than what you were willing to give. And I was stupid, because I ignored the longing I felt for you and bypassed it as hormones. But Milla," James pressed a soft kiss onto the still silent girl's knuckles. "I think I've adored you ever since you took color-coded notes for me that one time I missed classes and was in the hospital wing."

A few students laughed at his words while some were still in shock, very much like the head girl who seemed to be incapable of speech at the moment. Her lips parted but no words came out. Tears were pooling in her eyes, though, and James felt a tug in his heart at the sight. Had he said something wrong?

"James," she finally whispered, pulling her hand from his and wiping at her eyes. "Why are you saying this? W-why... Where's Lily?"

Her eyes were equally confused as it is hurt, and James didn't understand why. Slightly disheartened at her reaction, he shrugged and smiled although it didn't quite reach his eyes. Reaching up, he ran a hand down her arms. "She told me to get my girl."

Tears fell freely down Milla's face now, but something flashed in her face and changed. It's as if her eyes lit up at his words. Sniffing, her stare at him did not waver. "You do realize," she started. "That just because you spilled a speech in front of everyone, it doesn't mean everything will be okay and get back to the way it was before?"

"I know, I know," he nodded in agreement. "I know that, and I embrace that. We need to get to know each other again and this time differently. We need to start from the beginning. And I want that for us more than anything,"

She narrowed her eyes. "Just because you steal a few words from cliche movies doesn't mean you 'get the girl'," she mocked his words.

"But," she added. "This is a good start."

-

this didn't turn out as well as i would have liked but ehh.

also, we're on chapter 25 and we still haven't got a ship name! help me out please! comment your suggestions :)))