In which Milla Rosamund finds herself stuck in quite a compromising position beneath James Potter.
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WARNING: This story will contain mature themes, scenes, and language such as profanity, drugs and/or alcohol, and sexual content.
#SBRoadTo500k
Ran...
note: thank you so much for the 7k reads! this is honestly surreal! ahhhhhhhh! also: in this chapter, james realizes something; lily makes a decision.
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James Potter could only recall being as confused once in his life, and that was when he was nine years old and he realized that kids his age aren't quite like him. They couldn't make things float or explode; magic was impossible for them, whereas magic had been part of his life before he was even born. His parents had insisted he spend a summer in London to get to know life outside the wizarding world, and the sights fascinated him. People were so different, so... mundane compared to what he had been used to, and to simply put it, James was confused as hell. Those two months were spent with thousands of questions even his parents could not answer. It wasn't until later, at 11 and in Hogwarts, when he finally understood. That was mainly the reason why he always took Muggle Studies classes, even until now.
At the moment though, his confusion is not even in the same scale as before.
He remembers the talk he had with Sirius, when the long-haired lad told him that it was okay to love two people at the same time and that not all love is the same. He remembers the way his body unconsciously clung to Milla's a that night when he asked her to stay and they did nothing but sleep in each other's arms. He remembers Lily's hopeful eyes when she confessed that already, she's in love with him, and how his heart felt heavy with the realization that he did not feel the same. He could not feel the same, not when there's a blonde-haired girl constantly in his mind and certainly not when Lily kisses him and he imagines someone else.
The problem is he could never hurt Lily Evans; not in this lifetime.
She was too sweet and kind and her love for him was so genuine sometimes he couldn't fathom it. James was at fault, of course, for leading the redhead on and making her believe he still feels for her when in truth, his heart had been taken by the head girl the minute she took color-coded notes for him when he wasn't present in class.
"I'm so fucked," he whispers to himself, lying on his back in bed in the earliest hours of the morning. Sleep had been forgotten. He stayed up all night pondering and studying his feelings and finally, he had the guts to admit to himself that he had been pining over the wrong girl.
Milla Rosamund has his heart.
No, it wasn't love. Not yet, at least. Frankly, things were too complicated and a lot has to happen before they escalate to that level. But it is something. It's something he has never felt about anyone else before, and it's driving him to the brink of insanity just thinking about her probably snoring away in the room next to his while he was stuck in his own bed, longing to hold her but not being able to do anything about it.
