Skinny Love; a byler lovestory

scars in the moonlight

Tw: selfharm mentioned.

It's getting dark outside and Mike can see the moon from his window. He always thinks about Will when he sees the moon or just the night sky. The week Will went missing Mike always looked up in the sky and prayed for Will to come home.

Mike is sitting at the end of his bed and his legs are shaking. It feels like he hasn't slept for years and he can't think anymore. He only wears boxers so the moon is lighting up his pale body. He feels sick and his whole head is hurting. He brushes his fingers over his thighs and the small scars. He hasn't told anyone about the scars and he is so ashamed. It feels like he's going to throw up only thinking about it.

He just needed to stop feeling the pain in his heart even if it only was for a few seconds but after he had done it and he saw the blood on his legs he got scared and he promised himself that he would never do anything like that again.

While thinking of the pain Mikes mind wanders to Will and the sad look on his face. He really wants the boy to be happy. He loves to see Will smile and to hear his laugh. Will is like a part of him, they have known each other for so long.

He loves him, but only as a friend right?

All of a sudden anger is buildning up inside of Mike and his heartbeat is rising. He thinks about how much his and El's relationship has taken over his life. She doesn't understand a damn thing and Mike is sick of it. He has spent a whole year with her and he realises that he has been the worst friend ever to his friends. He has spent every single day with a girl that doesn't even know what love is.

Violent tears are streaming down Mikes face and he stands up and grabs the photo of him and El on his nightstand and then he just throws it on the floor and it breaks. It feels good to see something break like that, just like Mikes heart always does.

He keeps throwing the other pictures of him and El to the floor until he can't see any track of her anymore. There is glass all over the floor. Then he opens his closet and sees the clothes she wore when they first met and he feels sick. He just grabs them and throws them in the bin.

After a few minutes Nancy is outside of his room, knocking on his door.
- MIKE OPEN THE DOOR, she screams with both anger and worry in her voice.

He opens the door and when Nancy asks him whats wrong he just falls down on his bare knees to the and more tears are streaming down from his cold face.
- I can't do this anymore Nancy he shouts and tries to cover his face with his cold hands.

Nancy gives him the longest hug ever.

- Mike you need to tell me whats wrong she says with a kind voice, still huggning her little brother.

After a couple of minutes the siblings are sitting on Mikes messy bed.
- I haven't been feeling well lately. All the things that happened when Will went missing still haunts me every single night and I can't sleep anymore. I feel so alone Nance Mike sobs.
- But you aren't alone Mike, you have your friends, your family and you have El. I know that you love her very much and she loves you too she says and gives him a sad smile.
- She's not enough he says and looks down.
Nancy gives him a worried look.
- Only a couple of moths ago you were head over heels in love with her and you two looked at each other like you were soulmates or something she says. What have changed?
- Nothing Mike whispers

But he knows in the back of his head that everything has changed and that Will is the reason.

It's always Will.

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While Mike is breaking down Will has just fallen asleep in his cold bed after a few hours of quietly worrying about his best friend.

When Will wakes up next morning he gets an idea. When him and Mike were smaller they always used to have sleepovers with a lot of candy and games. Its been a while since they hung out because Mike is always with El.

When Will arrives at school he has a small smile on his lips. After a few minutes he sees Mike and Will gets happy when he realises that El isn't with Mike. Mike is sitting on a bench all alone with a book and a pencil in his hand.

Will walks up to Mike and when Mike notices him he suddenly closes the book and looks at Will. He really looks tired.
- So I've been thinking and i wonder if you wanted to hang out with me and have like a sleepover. We always did that when we were smaller Will asks with a giggle.
For a split second Will can see some sort of panic in Mikes eyes but then Mikes gives him a soft smile.
- Yeah I would love that Will he says and Wills heart melts.

Then El arrives and suddenly both of the boys smiles are gone.

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