Siren

Confessions

                                                                              *Aria*

It took a while for it to sink in, what my mother had just declared was that I shouldn't exist. That I was an abnormality. Mermaids were myths people with functioning minds never believed in things that have never been proven. If what was said was true I would go against the laws of science and surely be locked away and analysed for scientific purposes.

"Aria, Aria, Aria" I turned my head baffled to realise I was in school the rest of the lesson must have gone in the blur of my daydream. Jasper had called me trying to reclaim the girl he had met that fateful day and now fallen involve with, but she had gone transformed into a beast her human mother had revealed she would be forever. It was heart-wrenching seeing Jasper sat there concerned and engrossed in his painting -the tip of his tongue just visible, eyebrows knitted together and deep- set of dark green hazel eyes focused yet so far away glancing at her the same time. His features were sharply interesting and full of angles, with razor cheekbones and a deep cleft in his chin. His skin seemed exceptionally pale in contrast to the dark tangled hair that fell into his eyes and was impatiently brushed away with a flick of his wrist. I could have watched him all day but the foreboding truth there lingering in the background; she was destined to kill men of his species and she couldn't do that not when she was in love with him.

The bell rang and I sighed hoping for a quick distraction, I gathered my items.  

"Aria "I heard again from the too sounding familiar voice 

"Look Jasper leave  me alone, I don't need this right now"

"Aria-I'm just worried you never replied to my texts and my ego is quite wounded because I told you how I felt--

"And yeah I didn't address it because I don't feel the same way, 

"You mean that "I tried not to look into his eyes and see the inevitable hurt look across his face of the feelings of embarrassment disappointment and worst betrayal. 

"Yeah"

"Then why can't I believe that"

"Well because your ego is bruised and you just can't except that I just don't want to be romantically linked to a guy that everyone sees as less cool than his dead friend" I gasp as the words left my lips what I'd just said it was cruel to say so in the least but I needed to draw him away from who he believed I was "I'm sorry Jasper"

"Look into my eyes and say that you don't have feelings for me and I swear I'll leave you alone"

I looked into his brooding heroic face which had girls swooning, I found it difficult to breath when I was alone with him " Jasper, I have no feelings for you" I said regretfully I felt my heart breaking there and then intense pain shooting to my chest then as I said the words I didn't mean to say but we couldn't be together that was the reality. 

I wished I could ease the words then and there take it all back, tell him I didn't mean it but then I imagined an alternative scenario where Jasper was lying dead in my arms his blood lacing my hair and the taste on my gums as I transformed into what I was and that was more terrifying than looking into his hurt face now.

He turned and walked out the door without even a goodbye his movements stiff. It's for the best I thought either that or me living on centuries feeding my nature always killing those I loved and condemning them to that fate. It was because I love Jasper I could not reach that point even if it killed me in the process. Tears came cascading down pouring like a broken dam flooding the parts of my face as I looked past the distance willingly him to come back for me asking me to explain.. " there is nothing to explain mothers voice said in my head. 

I gathered my bags and wiped my tears with the sleeve of my striped jumper it streaked the tips with water and I continued my walk down the hallway Jasper in my mind.