Lauren Jauregui Imagines

Don't leave me

It was cold. So cold. The rain was beating down in torrents and the air was as cold as ice. The wind blew a storm, a storm that matched the one inside of her.

It was as if the universe knew she couldn't handle all of the emotions, so it made a storm for her.

The alleyway did not provide much cover or warmth for her, but what other choice did she have? She had no home, not now.

For the first time in her life she was alone.

*earlier that day*

"Lo, you'll always love me right?" Y/N's small voice broke the silence of the early morning.

It was 4am, both Lauren and Y/N woke up to the sound of thunder and a bolt of lightning lighting up the apartment.

"Of course I will love, you've got my heart and I have yours. You are the light of my life. I'll always love you." Lauren traced her fingers across Y/N's face, a soft smile playing at her lips.

"Okay, I love you Lauren, so much."

Both girls soon fell asleep nuzzled into each other.

*later that day*

She was sad. She didn't quite know why, but she wanted to cry, she wanted to cry and cry until she ran out of tears.

Lauren was sat on the couch reading a book when Y/N walked in, a blanket wrapped around her and tears in her eyes.

"Lo...." The small voice of her girlfriend made Lauren look up. She saw the sadness in her loves' eyes.

Throwing her book aside she made to move toward her, being gentle with her movements.

"Baby what's wrong?" Her voice dripped of concern, emerald eyes looking over the other woman with worry.

"I don't know. I just feel sad can we cuddle?" Lauren continued to look over her girlfriend. She had to get to the bottom of why she was sad.

"Can you tell me why you feel sad? Did something happen? Did you get hurt? Did I do something?" Y/N shook her head at all the questions.

She just felt sad but didn't know why, it just happened. Why can't Lauren see that?

"I can't help you if I don't know why you're sad, you need to tell me." The raven haired girl probed further.

"Lauren I DON'T KNOW WHY. Please stop asking because I don't know why!" Y/N had tears running down her cheeks at this point.

She only wanted cuddles from her girlfriend and instead is getting questioned like a criminal. Deciding that Lauren wasn't going to comfort her she turned to head back to her bedroom.

"It doesn't matter, I'm going to go back to bed." Lauren watched dejected as her lover walked back into the bedroom continuing to cry.

Why did I do that? Why did I push her? God I'm such an idiot. I've hurt her even more. Why am I so foolish? Fuck. Lauren sat back down on the couch, her head in her hands as she let her thoughts run wild. She felt so shit.

I wish I knew why I was so sad, maybe then I'd have been able to tell Lauren and everything would be okay right now. Why? Why can't I understand? Y/N continued to cry, her thoughts making her feel worse.

She wasn't sure when she fell asleep or how long she was asleep for but when she woke up the sun was setting. Her sadness hadn't gone away either.

Deciding to get out of bed and find something to eat, Y/N walked into the kitchen to see Lauren sat at the table, her face downcast and clearly upset.

Great, now I've made Lauren upset. Fuck why am I such a burden to her? Holding back tears the younger woman approached the table.

"Y/N... we need to talk" at Lauren's words, Y/N came to a stop. Fear written across her face. She hated those words, they never had any good meaning to them.

Swallowing the lump in her throat, the sad girl approached her love.

"I've been thinking. I realised something after you went back into the bedroom. I'm not good for you. You didn't want to tell me you're sad but I pushed you and hurt you. I push you to do things and say things a lot and I shouldn't, it's not my place." Lauren let a few tears fall, the next words would break both of their hearts she knew. But before she could say anymore the girl across from her spoke up.

"Lo that's not true! I did want to tell you, I tried but I don't know why I'm sad it just happened. I wish I knew why so I could tell you and we'd make it better together but because I don't know we can't. I didn't mean to ruin your day or upset you but because of my mood I have." Y/N couldn't stop the tears this time, nor did she want to.

"Y/N.... I'm really sorry. But I think we need space from each other. I can't keep being here knowing I'm always hurting you." More tears fell from Lauren's eyes but they didn't compare to the tears falling down her girlfriends.

"Laur... please. Please don't do this. Don't leave me. I can change, I'll be happier, I'll try to figure it out I promise." Her voice was broken. She was trying to hold back the sobs but knew eventually she'd fail.

"It's not forever! It's only for a while..."

"Do you not want me to be your girlfriend? And how long is a while?" Y/N knew. She knew that when someone said 'a while' it meant forever.

"I don't know. But you need space From me. I keep hurting you. But I do still want to be your girlfriend but I can't be that if I hurt you." Lauren looked up. And the sight broke her heart more than her words.

Y/N was sat across from her. Heartbreak written all over her face. Her tear were falling g faster each second. Her eyes weren't bright like normal. She looked broken.

"Y/N...."

Before Lauren could say anything else. The broke girl got up and ran. She ran out the apartment and into the night. The sound of thunder was in the distance but that didn't stop her.

Y/N kept running, her chest aching but not from the cold or lack of air she was getting but from the heartbreak she felt. Her whole world felt as though it was falling apart. Maybe because it just had.

The woman she looked up to and loved so dearly, blaming herself for something that she hadn't done.

Coming up to an alleyway, Y/N turned into it and hiding behind a large dumpster. She didn't try to contain her sobs any longer. She let them out loud and painful. If anyone could hear her they chose to ignore her.

She thought Lauren might have run after her but after sitting in the storm for over thirty minutes and not hearing Lauren calling her name, she knew that Lauren didn't come.

Getting, Y/N looked down at her soaked clothes. She knew she couldn't go back, she wasn't didn't think she was welcome there, not now. So she started to walk off. She walking into the night, into the storm.

She knew 'a while' meant forever. And she would likely never hear or see Lauren again.