James and Lily: It Took A While

Chapter Eighteen

"Lily?"

"Wha--" I sat up suddenly from the desk. I must have fallen asleep. "What?"

But then I remembered everything that had happened with James and Snape. I slumped back onto the desk and groaned.

"Sirius filled me in on bits and pieces, but I want to hear about what happened, and why you're sleeping in the library." Remus sat down beside me.

"I'd really rather not talk about it," my voice was muffled because I was speaking through my arms, which I had wrapped around my head.

"Well, I bet James would like to talk about it," Remus said.

"Yeah, but James hasn't done much recently that makes me so eager to talk to him anymore." I sat up. "Can't we just continue our lives as if nothing ever happened between James and me and that it's still the beginning of the year and I still hate him?"

"Lily, if you'd just listen to his story about why--" he broke off. "He's really depressed about it and he asked me to find you. He obviously doesn't know his way around the library."

"Yeah, well, I retreat so deeply into it for a reason," I grumbled. "What time is it, anyway?"

Remus checked his watch, then stood up. "Seven-thirty. I bet we can make dinner if we hurry."

When I gave him an exasperated/annoyed look, he sighed and said, "James won't be there. I'm pretty sure he's not feeling that up to food right now. Come on." He grabbed my hand and pulled me out of the chair I was in, and I reluctantly followed him out of the library.

As we walked through the corridors, he continued to interrogate me about James. "Are you sure you can't just listen to what he has to say? He was so looking forward to that Hogsmeade visit with you this weekend."

I was silent for almost a whole other corridor before saying, "I'll listen to his story if he comes up to me himself and explains."

Remus shrugged. "Seems fair," he sighed.

We reached the Great Hall and took a seat at the almost-vacant Gryffindor table. The few people in the Hall that had witnessed the fight stared at me for a few seconds before looking away. I rolled my eyes and pulled a platter of fruit towards myself. "Awesome. Our used-to-be relationship has officially been publicized."

"Just chill," Remus tried to placate me. I ate a few bites of steak before standing up. "I'm not hungry," I told him. "Let's just head back to the common room. I'm going back to sleep."

"All right," he said, and we headed towards Gryffindor tower. When we reached the Fat Lady's portrait, I spoke the password and we entered. James was nowhere in sight. Thank goodness, because I didn't really want to speak with him at the moment. I headed in the direction of the girls' staircase when the portrait swung open and who should enter? but James. Remus gave me a pointed look, but I scurried up the staircase, calling a hasty goodnight to Remus. I think James caught sight of me, though, because I heard him yell, "Lily!" It was too late now, though. I practically hurtled through the door of our dormitory and found myself face to face with Elle.

"Oh!' I said, surprised, then, "Hi Elle," sullenly.

"Oh, Lily! I'm so sorry. I heard about what happened. I can't believe it." She hugged me. "It'll be all right. Have you talked to him?"

I shook my head. "Nope. Currently waiting for him to speak first." When Elle looked like she wanted to further converse about the incident, I said, "Elle, I'm really tired and I think I'm going to go to bed, okay?"

She clamped her mouth shut. "Yeah, okay. Totally fine."

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I woke up the next morning feeling a bit better. I was definitely ready to face the day, and maybe even James. I got dressed and then headed down to the Great Hall for breakfast. I sat down with Elle at the end of the table, but we mostly ate in silence.