Living In The Never | ☑️

THE SUMMER MY WALLS CAME DOWN

HEATHER

"Heather, pay attention!"- screams Mrs. Hood, our psychology teacher.

I snap out of my thoughts as I watch her sour expression turn more sour, as if that is possible, which gives me the hint that this might not have been her first time calling me out today.

Immediately, I feel Jayson's eyes on me and unfortunately, our eyes meet. He gives me a questioning look, while I just shake my head and turn my head down to scribble some notes that Mrs. Hood has graciously given.

Today is the beginning of the last week, before the school closes down for the Winter Break and opens next year, after the break, and officially welcomes my batch to its last year of High School.

I watch the snow softly hit the class window and I slightly shiver. Since the last 10 minutes, Mrs. Hood has been asking random students about their most life changing experience in the last 3 years of High School and how we feel about the upcoming final year of High School.

"Jayson, can you share one of your most life changing in the past 3 years of high school?" - She asks Jayson as everyone turns to face him.

His eyes flicker around , until it settles on me .In a heartbeat, he says-"Heather Banks."

What he said didn't surprise me, didn't surprise anyone, because he says that all the time. But, the way he said it , suddenly changed the mood of the entire class.

His voice chokes as he utters my name and for a second I almost fear that he will relapse into one of his moments, since the question he has been asked can actually get to him, if he lets it. But he doesn't let it get to him. We have worked this issue, with Kate and Rob, many times. Which is why, I see them wiggling their eyebrows , teasing us.

"Care to elaborate, Adams?"- Mrs. Hood asks with a hint of smile on her lips as she sees my semi stupefied expression.

To this, Jayson clears his throat to reply-"Well, you see. I didn't know who I was or who I wanted to be, for the last 3 years. And partly, it was my fault. I gave up because I felt like I was drowning deeper into it. So, I built up my walls because I didn't want anyone to push me deeper into it and for so long I felt like this was it, like I had fallen into this deep pit and I was lost in it. As the 3rd year of High School began, I just wanted to get it over with because I had nothing to look up to. But then, this amazing girl- Heather Banks- walked into my class and I think that was the turning point of my life. She knew nothing of who I was and easily could have believed what everyone said. But she didn't. She came forward and cared enough to know about who I really was, instead of enjoying her summer break. Even though very little, but she really sacrificed her small happiness to be with me, to help me break down my own walls, brick by brick. I feel like the luckiest guy to have someone like her as my best friend. So , the most life changing moment for me in High School will be this summer with Heather. The summer when my walls came down."

Tears flow down my cheeks because this is the first time that he has ever elaborately expressed how I impacted him. I knew I had an impact on him and I also knew that he regretted not being able to express his gratitude properly. But now as I watch a satisfied smile sit on his lips, I realize that he said it all out. For once, Jayson Adams is really satisfied with something that he has said and I feel so very proud of him.

I watch him bask in the applause of the class and I just know that I would do about anything to keep that satisfaction on his face, even if it means that I have to keep my feelings buried in because come whatever may, this friendship will always come first; even if it means that I have to partially rage a battle with my heart to keep calm.

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JAYSON

The name rolled out of my lips good naturally and initially, I felt horrible because it seemed just so lame to me. But now, as I look down at the girl in my arms, with her arms wrapped around my midriff, I think it was all worth it.

She looks up at me, smiling through her tears-"You made me cry, idiot. Your confidence needs to come with a warning."

I just chuckle at her obvious discomfort of everyone having to see her melt down and hug her back, tight and close because I can never ever imagine what I would have been doing now if we hadn't met in the beginning of the third year of High School. I hate to be philosophical, but I think the only reason why I didn't have friends for so long was because I was made to wait for friends like her, like Kate and Rob, in my life. They make me so complete, they make me a better and positive person. 

She finally pulls away and as she looks at me, I feel my emotions clear up.

 This is the friendship that I don't want to risk, this is the friendship that I want with her, where we don't have to tell each other that we are there for them, because we know that we will be. 

Not going to lie, but falling for her was a scary thought for me. But now that my head is completely cleared, I suddenly feel overwhelmed. I look at her, to find that she is already looking at me, and I see that look in her eyes which tells me that she knows what I am thinking. 

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