Discord Drabbles

The Wedding

[Written by starjack-]

"I think "normal" is a relative term. I mean, everyone here still watches children's cartoons" - Jackie

After more than a month of teasing, bickering, suggestive looks and a wild rehearsal dinner, it was finally the afternoon of the double wedding. AJ and Jackie nervously stood at the front, each trying to curb their anxiety. The four of them had chosen to have a wedding outside, and AJ was becoming more grateful by the second. He was sweating enough as it was, he didn't need the added stuffiness of a church.

"I think I'm going to die," he mumbled, staring at the grass below.

"Of course you're going to die," Jackie said, equally nervous. "Everyone dies eventually. Just probably not today."

AJ fidgeted with his collar. "Key word being probably."

"Hey, it was your choice to wear a skirt." Jackie covered her mouth to hide a smile, a lock of blonde hair falling of the bun and into her eyes. She shifted from foot to foot in her princess-style wedding dress, careful not to trip on the white fabric.

"You know very well it's a kilt, not a skirt!" He raised his voice, drawing a bit of attention from the front row.

Jackie raised her eyebrow. "Someone's defensive."

Echo sighed from her spot next to Jackie, looking stunning in her knee length black dress. The breeze kept making her loose brunette hair float into her face, so she was irritated enough as it was. "Children. Please. Keep it civil for just one day."

AJ scowled, not wanting to admit defeat but not suicidal enough to cross Echo. "Insufferable American," he hissed.

"Stuck-up Brit," Jackie muttered, looking straight ahead.

Both of them would have said more if not for the pair of women making their way up the aisle, the Filipino one in a gorgeous Greek style dress and the cute one following behind her in a sleeveless black gown.

"I think I may have forgotten how to talk," Jackie stared openmouthed.

"Forget talking, I can't breathe."

Jackie subtly kicked him in the shin, making the freckled boy wince and earning a disapproving glare from Sketcher. "Children," she said, shaking her head in utter disappointment. "I am marrying children."

"At least we're good children," Jackie said with a smile.

Sketcher shook her head again. "That's up for debate."

Both brides finally reached the front, making the rather petty pair momentarily stop antagonizing each other. Jarrah smiled at AJ, making him go tomato red. "Um."

"Are you disappointed I didn't wear the Lemmy Kilmister getup?" Jarrah pouted a bit, playing up her pure bean status.

"What-? N-No, it's beautiful- you're beautiful. Uh."

Sketcher rolled her eyes. "AJ. We practiced this. Stop being awkward."

As soon as someone points out you're being awkward it becomes much harder to not be awkward, and that was certainly the case with the curly haired boy. Jarrah squeezed his hand reassuringly. "Your skirt looks great."

AJ smiled at the compliment, for once not caring about the inaccuracy.

"Wow, JJ, I hope you brought an oxygen tank, because you take my breath away." Jackie grinned like an idiot.

JJ giggled and nudged her shoulder. "Jackie, those are the worst."

"Are you a campfire? Because you're super hot and I want s'more."

"I thought you said I was cute!"

"Whoever said you can't be both?!"

"Oh geez, you need to STOP," JJ managed in between laughs.

Echo tried and failed to suppress a smile at Jackie's tactless flirting. "You're not going to be able to exchange vows if you've got her laughing at your unprecedented terrible puns."

Jackie gave an exaggerated bow. "As you wish, Auntie Echo."

"Just doing my job as your maid of honor."

The goth frowned. "I thought she was my maid of honor."

Jackie coughed awkwardly. "I hope you don't mind sharing. She's kind of the best. We both know that."

"True." The two shared a smile as Echo sputtered, trying to come up with a good counter argument and failing.

"Why did I agree to marry four happy-go-lucky idiots," Sketcher complained, smacking her hand to her face.

"Because you love us," Jackie said innocently. Sketcher only glared in response.

"That's gay!" AJ called from the other side.

"Your point being?"

AJ inhaled sharply. "JJ, your wife might not live through the night."

Sketcher impatiently adjusted her tie, looking quite sharp in her tux. "We ready to start? Not all of us are in comfortable kilts."

Jarrah frowned. "What's a kilt?"

The Scottish boy looked like he wanted to die right there. "Yeah, let's get this going."

She pushed her glasses up her nose in a very important manner and cleared her throat. "So uh, these dorks are getting married. Good for them, I guess. Makes it harder on everyone else who's forever alone, but whatever. Be good to each other and stuff or else we got a team of people ready to kidnap you."

The small congregation nodded. Cath, Lou, Esmeralda, Sam, and Jello didn't talk quite as often, but they were always appreciated when they came on moments like these. "So don't screw up!" Jello yelled from her lawn chair.

"Thank you for your contribution, Jello. As I was saying, both couples have been cute for a while and I think I speak for the rest of us when I say it's about time. So AJ, you promise not to screw this up?"

"Probably not."

"Jarrah?"

"I do."

Echo sassily nodded. "Hey! You two should kiss!"

If possible, AJ got even redder but mentally prepared himself to give Jarrah a peck on the cheek. She beat him to it, making the other nine present cheer.

Echo's lips twitched upwards, satisfied. "Your turn, you beautiful gays."

Jackie turned to the now canon Ajar. "You hear that? Gays are better than str-" She was interrupted by a kiss on the cheek from JJ, making her face turn a deep pink. "Oh. Okay. Wow. Uh, have I ever told you you're hot? Like, really hot?"

JJ punched her lightly. "Only about thirty times."

"That's not enough times."

Sketcher held her head in her hands. "You guys didn't even say your vows. How do we know you're not gonna screw this up?!"

"Oh, we probably will," Jackie said with a smile far too confident. "But that's what's going to make it fun."

"And make our ratings shoot up!" One of the television executives shouted from offscreen.

JJ chuckled. "This isn't TV's number one dramatic comedy for nothing."

Both newlyweds walked back down the aisle to enthusiastic clapping, and to anyone else they must have looked like the strangest thing on the planet. A British boy in a kilt with a Filipina girl in a greek dress alongside cute lesbians in clashing dresses were not a sight you saw every day, certainly not "normal."

But sometimes, it's good to remember normalcy is relative.