swallows- soulmate au

ten

The hospital is about fifteen minutes away from here. Most of that drive is spent listening to Haru screeching the lyrics to Arctic Monkeys and a bit of Polish hip-hop. I'm sat in the back panicking and fiddling with the trim of my shirt. Was the unknown number Eli? And if so, what did he have to give me? How did he get it? Is Alex okay? I rest my forehead on the back of the seat in front of me and groan. Haru reaches in the glovebox and hands me a little silver hip flask. "Żubrówka vodka. It'll help. It's not as socially acceptable as the pills I gave you but it will do." He yawns. "We're nearly there, I think. James?"
"Looks like it. Hey, get me a bottle of that Polish shit if you can. I'll pay you. I've wanted to try it for ages but they never have it in shops."
"You're looking in the wrong shops." Haru smirks, but concentrates on the road. "Come to my shop, we have everything!"
"Oh, fuck off." I laugh and down the contents of the hip flask. It's strong, but has a strange herbal taste to it- it's really good. "Your Polish shit is really good. Your entire country probably tastes good. I'm gonna go to Poland and lick the floor and see what it's like."
"Yep, it's working." He turns in at the hospital. "You're such a lightweight. At least you're not anxious anymore."

The receptionist gives me a dirty look as we walk in. I'm not visibly drunk and I think I remembered to put makeup on, so I chalk it down to my outfit and follow Haru through the halls. James waits in the reception area, saying that Alex probably wouldn't want him there. Haru takes my hand and drags me away. As the oldest out of the two of us, he's the one with the directions. The halls go on for years, winding and confusing. I wonder how anyone can get around here without getting lost. Once we arrive at Alex's room, he lets me go first, pointing out the cubicle and nudging me towards it. I tentatively walk towards the curtain and draw it back, Haru just behind me.

Alex doesn't actually look too bad. I was expecting horrific injuries, but she just looks like she's been in a bad fight. According to James, she broke one of her ribs, her arm and her nose. Her face is all bruised up and she looks so sad. She's asleep, thank God. I notice something. Normally she'd be wearing a hospital gown, but instead of the dull white garment she's wearing light pink. I look closer, and she's wearing a hoodie. A hoodie with retarded cat ears and a cute kitty face on the hood.
My hoodie.
Trying to hide a blush, I gently nudge her. "Alex. Alex, wake up."
She opens her eye a little and turns slightly to face me. Her face, shoulders and collarbones are covered in shades of black and purple, and her eyes are dull. "Iz?"
"I'm here. It's okay. Alex, what the hell happened?"
"I don't know." Her voice is sad and quiet. "I think Eli's dead, Iz."
"He's not. We know where he is and he's coming back here. It's okay, everything's okay." I'm trying to be calming but I'm so close to crying.
"He has something for you. A letter..."

My heart skips a beat.
So it was Eli who texted me.
I absentmindedly run my fingers through Alex's hair, thinking. She leans into my touch slightly and I smile. "How long are you gonna be in here for?"
"Doctor says she wants to keep me here another two days. I got a big cut on my leg as well as the broken stuff, and they're worried about tetanus."
"You're not gonna get that. That's a bit much."
"Still, I can barely walk. It was deep, and it hurts." She rolls over so her head is resting in my lap. "I'm on a lot of painkillers right now."
"Yeah, I can tell." I carry on stroking her hair. "You're such a mess."
"I'm sorry." She looks sadder. "I could've got Eli and I killed. I could've hurt you and Haru and James and everyone else."
"Alex, can you sit up?"
"Yeah." She does. "Why?"
Being mindful of her rib, I pull her into my lap. "You haven't hurt anyone. You're alive and that's all that matters to me."
I'm not thinking, but she cuddles into me like it's perfectly normal. We're sat so she's straddling me, my arms around her waist, hers around my shoulders, her face snuggled into the crook of my neck like she's a huge cat. It takes every bit of willpower I have to stop myself kissing the top of her head. She's gotten so thin since she ran away and she's so small and all I want is to keep her here in my arms until she doesn't hurt anymore-

"Visiting hours are over."
Alex and I reluctantly break apart. Haru walks over to her as I stand up, hands her a little package, then smiles and says something. I'm out of earshot, but as I leave I curl my hands into the shape of a heart. She does the same, and as we close her curtain I find myself feeling very, very sad, like I've just lost a part of me. Then I remember.

Eli.

Haru hands me another hip flask. I stare at him, then down it. He leads me back through the halls and out the front door, running past James and into the car park. They head to the van and I head to the trees near the forest. As I thought, I spot a blond man in a grey hoodie.
There he is.
I turn around to see the van parked as close as possible. I smile and head towards Eli, being careful not to make too much noise.
He notices me.
"Good afternoon, Izzy."
"Eli, holy shit... are you okay?"
"I'm fine. Bruised leg, there's a cut on my chest, but otherwise I'm alright."
"Oh, thank God. Wait... what was it you had to give to me?"
"Oh yeah." He hands me an unmarked white envelope. "It's from Alex. Read it when you get back. There's also something I think I need to tell you."
"What's up?" I'm not as anxious anymore, and Eli is really redeeming himself.
"I was never in love with Alex. Yes, I had a crush on her, but I think I was just obsessed with the idea of a relationship. But... Izzy, I found him." He motions to his tattoo. "My soulmate."

I feel lightheaded. This is good.
"Eli, that's amazing!! What's his name? When can we meet him?"
"His name's Josh. He's beautiful." Eli goes into a dreamlike state. "I feel like I have a chance with him. Alex won't be an option anymore, so she's all yours."
I breathe a sigh of relief. "I'm so happy. For you and me."
"There's one more thing."
"What is it?"
"I've known Alex since she was a kid. I'm still not great at working out how she feels about things, but hey. I think she loves you, too."

Haru insists on driving Eli home. He sits in the back with James and sleeps for the entire journey. James takes him home and Haru and I go back to the apartment. I excuse myself as Haru makes dinner, and I isolate myself with the letter.
"izzy.
first of all, i'm sorry. i shouldn't have run away. i don't think i love eli anymore. besides, he found his soulmate. and i have mine. there's no point anymore, is there?
to tell you the truth, i guess i just don't wanna move on from the people i dated years ago. though i feel like i can change that.
you're someone i can fall in love with.
and to be honest, i think i already have.
the only issue now is whether or not you love me too.
te amo.
-a."

My heart has literally stopped beating. I feel numb. I'm crying. I flop back on my bed and cry. And cry.
She loves me. She loves me. She loves me.
My phone beeps. It's Haru.
«Just had a text from James. Alex is getting worse, apparently the wound she has is infected. She might die. Izzy, I'm sorry. I'm here if you need me, okay?»

Suddenly, I'm falling.
Someone somewhere is crying, it might be me but I don't know.
My hand goes to my collarbone and touches the tattoo there.
It could be the last piece of Alex I have.

it's okay, baby.
just hold on, okay?
i'll be here through everything.
don't stop breathing.