I Saw the Lights Go Out

Let it Through the Wind

shit's bouta go down. 

That night, as Dan lay awake in his brother's room, staring at the dark ceiling and thinking over all that Phil had told him, his brother's snores the soundtrack to his thoughts, Dan remembered something Phil had said.

Something he'd completely overlooked in the heat of the moment.

"Her parents were killed for the same reason as mine."

Dan's heart broke in that moment. Dan's entire messed up world came crashing down on him as he realized what Phil had inadvertently told him.

Carrie's parents had been killed for his brother's assassination, which means Phil's were too. Dan suddenly couldn't breathe, waves and waves of guilt crashed into him as he realized that he had ordered Phil's parent's death. He was the reason Phil had been orphaned, why Phil had gone through so much emotional and physical pain. It was his fault. It hurt even more now that he realized it was all for nothing. Carrie ad Phil's parents were all innocent. Dan hated himself so much in that moment that he felt like he could just roll over and suffocate himself with the pillow he'd been given.

Alex had returned about an hour after his departure to show Dan where he'd be staying. Dan could tell that Alex's room had been rearranged to fit in a bed for Dan, and Dan was grateful.

Dan didn't sleep that night, and when 8.30 rolled around, he felt more drained than he had in years - even though he'd gone on with much less sleep than this.

Dan was working on autopilot as his brother lead him down endless corridors to what Dan supposed was the command room. Dan knew he should be cataloguing the way to this room, counting every step and noting every twist or turn he took. He knew he should be memorizing every code used on ever heavy metal door, but he just couldn't bring his mind to focus. He stared at the back of his brother's head, his eyes swimming in and out of focus, the space around him blurring out of existence, and he knew he was losing it.

He'd spent too long indoors, spent too many hours thinking and feeling and it was making him weak. He wasn't weak, he couldn't be weak. He was Daniel James Howell. Commander, Leader, Fighter. He was the son of the prime minister and the greatest scientist ever to live. He was strong.

But deep down he knew that it was all a lie. He was no longer a commander, he was never a 'leader', just a privileged boy. He hadn't fought in weeks and his father was a liar, his mother a psycho. She wasn't great, she was evil. He was not strong, he was gullible.

Dan didn't even notice he was in the command room until he looked up and came face to face with Emma.

"Daniel Howell." She said, crossing her arms over her chest, the leather sleeves of her jacket rubbing together and making a rubbery squeaking sound. "You said you'd help us"

"I did" Dan agreed, there was a scoff from somewhere in the room.

"Joseph if you have a problem, please, don't hesitate to share it." Emma said, he voice light, she never once broke eye contact with Dan, so it wasn't hard for him to miss the flash of annoyance that flashed through her cold irises.

"Well its just... We can't trust him. He's the one who took Zoe and Pj in the first place! He's obviously trying to trick us."

Dan sighed, and rolled his eyes. Emma smirked. "Well you're right Joe, he did take Zoe and Pj, and now, he's going to bring them back."

"I don't believe that for one second." Joe argued, his voice raising as he became considerably more angry. Dan wondered if he was always angry.

"You don't have to believe it, Joe. Just go with it. I can assure you that if he's trying to trick us then he won't get very far."