Chapter 11
Beg
Para akong nabunutan ng tinik matapos akong ihatid ni Bry sa unit ko. It feels good to have someone to talk to at times when you want to voice all your heartaches out.
Pero pagbukas ko ng pinto, loneliness enveloped my being. I just remembered my childhood days at our home. With my Mom and Dad, living happily in our home. Until the structure we used to call home became a bare house. Until our home got wrecked. Until everything changed.
I laid down on my bed, reminiscing how happy we were. How my Mom read me stories during bed time and how Dad makes fun of all my Mom's stories. They were the good times that were left behind. The moments that became memories which my Dad forgot. The memories which my Dad chose to neglect.
I want them to get back together. That's why I'm trying so hard to seek for my Dad's attention. Para kapag pinagalitan niya ako, masasabi ko sa kanya lahat ng hinanakit ko.
MORNING came and I started doing what I'm supposed to do. I went straight to my office after eating my breakfast at Café Milagros. Ang aga ko ngayon. It's still 7:30 A.M. in the morning. I should be here at eight. Hmm.. Not bad.
I was about to take my key out of my bag so I could open the door of my office when I realized it was already open. Oh, I forgot about my counseling with Dad today. I rolled my eyes and went inside.
“I thought we already talked about it. Please, anak, huwag mo namang ganyanin sina Mariana at Arianne. I'm begging you.” salubong ni Dad sa'kin which made my heart hurt like crazy. Halos di ako makahinga sa sakit na narardaman ko. Gusto kong magwala pero mas pinili kong tingnan siya sa mata.
“We never talked 'bout it Dad. And really? You're begging me to stay away from the people who ruined our family? You're begging me to be kind to them, really? Damn! Do you know how much it pains me to see my father begging me to accept his mistress? Do you know that it's killing me to see how much you care for them?” a tear escaped my eye. Sobrang sakit ng dibdib ko.
I never lose our eye contact. I wanna let him see how vulnerable I am now. I want him to see how hurt I am right now.
“All my life Dad, I tried so hard to keep our family intact. I tried so hard so you and Mom would reconcile. But now, seeing you beg me, your own daughter, to respect your mistress and her daughter makes me realize we will never ever be a family again. No matter how hard I try, we will never be one again. Seeing how much you love them, it pains me to the core but what can I do? This is you, pushing me away. Pushing our family's chance to be one again, away. I give up. I tried but I'm tired. I can't do it anymore!” I turned my back on him. I'm already crying so hard right now, my shoulders are already shaking. I know any moment from now, I'd really break down.
I took a step away from Dad but he held my arm, “Anak, I'm sorry. I didn't-”
“Dad, let me be the one to beg this time,” I cut him off, “I beg you, Dad, please let me heal. Ayoko na munang makita kayo. I'm not begging you to stay away from me, I am begging you to let me stay away instead.” then I stormed out of the office.
Dumeretso ako sa sasakyan ko at doon umiyak ng husto. My car is tinted so nobody would see me crying other than the mirror in front of me. Umuwi na lang ako ng bahay pagkatapos kong umiyak ng husto. Pagdating ko ng bahay, natulog nalang ako. Sobrang bilis akong nahila ng antok dahil na rin siguro sa sakit na nararamdaman ko at ng mahapdi kong mga mata kakaiyak.
NAGISING ako dahil sa ingay ng telepono sa sala. Kung sino man iyang tumatawag na 'yan, sana na lang ay importante at babagsakan ko talaga yan ng telepono. Bago ako bumangon ay tiningnan ko muna ang orasan ko sa bedside table. It's already eight o'clock in the evening. What?! I've slept for almost 12 hours? Gosh! Ang tagal naman! Buti naman nagising pa ako.
Pinuntahan ko na lang ang maingay na telepeno. Sobrang sama talaga ng pakiramdam ko. Parang pati boses ko, ayaw makisama. Halatang-halata na wala akong gana nang sagutin ko ang telepono.
“Saldivar's residence, how may I help you?” I tried so hard to sound okay.
“You're not answering your phone.” Bry's baritone voice filled my ears, “Are you okay? You sound weak.” he added, sounding so concerned. How could this man really feel my pain instantly? So sensitive, eh?
“I'm good. By the way, I can't come with you to your hometown.” I replied.
“Why?” he sounds disappointed. “Business matters. I'm hanging up now, got a lot of things to do. Bye!” binagsak ko na ang telepono bago pa siya makasagot.
Hmm... Parang gusto kong uminom ngayon. I'm done crying my heart out, it's time to drink my heart out. I immediately went to my closet and searched for a dress to fit my mood tonight.
I finally saw one. My black backless dress that hugs my body tight. It's sleeveless and a bit sexy, showing my cleavage. I designed my hair in high ponytail, showing my bare neck. Lotion, check! Perfume, check! Light makeup, check! Now, I'm ready!
WASTING no time, I entered the bar. I went directly to the counter, sat down and ordered the hardest liquor their bar could offer.
“Here's your order, Ma'am.” the bartender smiled at me as he gave me the bottle with a shot glass. I gave him back the shot glass, “That's be useless.” and drank the liquor from the bottle. The bartender looked at me with disbelief in his eyes. I glared at him, “What are you looking at?” he, then looked away.
Umiikot na ang paningin ko after drinking almost one fourth of the liquor. Gosh, I'm already tipsy! Ang lakas pala talaga ng tama nitong alak na 'to!
“Hey, beautiful. Wanna dance with me?” a man whispered on my ear as he snaked his arm around my waist. Due to the influence of alcohol, I nodded.
We went to the dancefloor and danced. The man in front of me tried to kiss me but before his lips touch mine, a fist landed on his face. To my surprise, it was Bry!
“W-what are you doing?” parang bigla akong tumino, nawala ang epekto ng alak sa katawan ko kasi mas nag-uumapaw ang epekto ng galit sa mga mata ni Bry.
“I already told you, I don't share what's mine.” he pulled me in a very controlled manner, his grip is very gentle despite the fact that he's fuming mad right now!
When we arrived at the parking lot, he turned to me and surprisingly kissed me passionately but later then, his kisses became very aggressive and rough but gentle at the same time. He's tounge wandered in every corner of my mouth.
He broke the kiss we shared. I am still panting after that mind-blowing kiss!
“I really hate it when someone is getting intimate with you, other than me.” he said and pulled me in his car.
Wherever he's taking me, I don't care at all. Masyado pa akong na carried away sa nangyari kanina.
Gosh! Why is he mad? Damn you, Bry! I really couldn't understand you at times.
YOU ARE READING
The Flame
RomanceShe was the blame, I was the moth. We were pain for us both But I'm willing to pass through all the pain Because she's the only one who can keep me sane. She's my pain, my heartbreak, my life, my love But she's also the only wish, the only dream...
