Finding My Normal

Chapter 5

I'm fucked up. My mind was racing as I sat on the living room floor. I'd been allowed to move back into my house about a week after my grandmother's funeral. My father told me that since I was almost 19 years old, he figured I would be okay moving back by myself for a while. I was shocked when he told me that since he had been singing a different tune at the funeral, but I let him rock. I wasn't old enough to be questioning my father about his actions. Thankfully, the guys had all swindled their way into moving in with me.

This was one of the rare times that I'd been in the house completely alone. Jah and Trev had decided that I shouldn't be left alone in the house for extended amounts of time since I'd begun to get worse. I admit, I was a bit different, but I hadn't actually changed that much. I was the same Kianna Jones as before, the only difference was I didn't have my grandmother with me. Right now, though, I was screwed. I had fucked up tremendously and I didn't know how I was going to explain myself.

I stood up as slowly as possible, using the arm of the couch to steady myself. Somehow my plan to take a shot or two before bed turned into me finishing half a bottle of Lee's Henny. I was helplessly drunk and very much alone. My stomach growled loudly, cutting through the silent house. Food. I need food. The kitchen wasn't far, but it was farther than I wanted to travel right now. It was around 8 o' clock, meaning the boys were on their way home. They'd all gone out to see some movie with some high school friends. I stayed home because I had some tracks to listen to for work, but I got bored once I was finished.

My body swayed as I tried to drag myself over to the staircase. The sound of the front door opening made me freeze in my tracks. The first person to see me was Brent, followed by Lee and Trevor. When my eyes landed on Trevor, a smile stretched across my face.

"Trev! I missed you!" I slurred, running over to him.

"Ki, what's going on with you?" He asked. His arms wrapped around my legs as I climbed up his body with my arms wrapped around his neck. From the corner of my eye, I could see Lee and Brent look at the half empty bottle that was laying on the living room floor.

"Yo, you drank all of this?" Brent called over to me.

"She's drunk as fuck, man." Lee sighed.

It was then that Jahmil decided to walk in. He walked over to me and looked into my eyes. I could see disappointment in his eyes as he shook his head slightly. A frown crept on my face and my eyes started to water. "Jah, come here."

"Ki, no."

"Nah, did you even eat bro? You're wasted right now." Trev groaned, leaning his head back to look at my face.

I shrugged before wiggling out of his arms. My body lurched toward the ground as soon as I touched the ground. A giggle bubbled up out of my chest as I was caught by Trevor. My mind was too busy running circles with my thoughts to allow me to focus on anything. Lee was about to walk out of the room with the Henny, causing my eyes to widen in alarm. In the most coordinated way I could, I ran up behind him and grabbed the bottle. Before I could be stopped, I tipped the amber liquid into my mouth and snuck a couple of sips.

"Kianna, you're bugging. Give me the damn bottle, bro." Lee yelled.

I stuck my tongue out at him before running off. My feet became a jumbled mess beneath me, sending me to the ground. Thankfully, I landed softly on my butt. The bottle of liquid hadn't spilled, encouraging me to take another long sip. The fuzziness in my head increased so quickly that I hadn't noticed that the bottle had been taken from me. Jahmil's face floated in front of mine. My eyes caught his lips moving but the words were coming at me too fast for me to be able to focus on them. I reached out and placed a finger over his lips.