My Sheltered Life

We need to talk (Chapter 9)

Richards POV

I must have dosed off and it was about 10.30 pm. I promised to ring Kevan, was it to late to call he might be out or asleep. I called his number it rang several times, then Kevan answer, hey Richard, he sounded sleepy, l'm sorry did I wake you, no he promptly replied I think I nodded off, Oh OK I replied, how you settling in and what's your room like? He replied, rooms OK not very big but has everything I need, nipped out to the campus to look around earlier seems to have all the basic stuff you could need, just need to explore more tomorrow.
He asked me how I was settling in, I told him that my room was similar to his but would take a few pics and send them to him and he could do the same, I said I had not been out exploring yet as it was late when I got here and by the time I'd sorted my room was tired so laid on the bed and dozed off, hence my late call.

I went on Keven I need to talk to you about something that I'm extremely embarrassed about and its worrying me sick, he was quiet but said it sounds serious, hmmmm I don't know how to tell you but the night of the farewell party and I had a lot to drink and I ended up texting you, telling you that I liked you a lot, I think that sub consciously that its true, then today when we were saying goodbye I grabbed and hugged you then kissed you ,I couldn't stop myself. I can't believe I did it and am sorry, please don't stop being my friend, I,m not gay I can't be, I have a girlfriend, I couldn't hold it any longer as I was telling Kevan tears were welling up in my eyes and I bust out crying.

Kevans POV

I heard my phone ring and saw it was Richard, I said Hey Richard, he said, l'm sorry did I wake you, no I replied I think I nodded off, he asked, how you settling in and what's your room like? I replied, rooms OK not very big but has everything I need, nipped out to the campus to look around earlier seems to have all the basic stuff you could need, just need to explore more tomorrow.

I asked him how he was settling in, He told me that my room sounded similar to mine but he would take a few pics and send them to me and that I could do the same, He said he had not been out exploring yet as it was late when he got here and by the time he'd sorted out his room he was tired so laid on the bed and dozed off, hence his late call.

He went on Keven I need to talk to you about something that I'm extremely embarrassed about and its worrying me sick, I was quiet but then said it sounds serious, he hmmmm'd I don't know how to tell you but the night of the farewell party and I had a lot to drink and I ended up texting you, telling you that I liked you a lot, I think that sub consciously that its true, then today when we were saying goodbye I grabbed and hugged you then kissed you , I couldn't stop myself. I can't believe I did it and am sorry, please don't stop being my friend, I,m not gay I can't be, I have a girlfriend, I could hear in his voice that he was close to crying, the he really broke down and could only imagine his hurt.

I said to him, I would never fall out of friends with you, no matter what happens, we have been best friends for over 7 years, I think that is sobs were dying down, so I said, Look seeing as you are being honest with me, I need to tell you something also, You know the night of the Proms when I went to your house and you were in your room getting ready, and was doing your hair stood in your suit and dress shirt, I sub consciously said to myself how handsome you looked, then at the proms when you got drunk or had your drink spiked and I got you home and stayed looking after you after you threw up, I undressed you down to your boxers, and thought that you had such a toned body, I laid on the bed, after you went to sleep, you rolled over and groaned then suddenly put your arm over me and pulled me closer to your chest, I didn't pull away for some reason and felt your warmth, and I had this strange feeling in my stomach like butterflies. I had never felt such feelings before so can't explain them, I can only assume it was because of you. I said we must have slept most of the night like that until I awoke and slowly moved away without trying to wake you, you looked so peaceful.

I never told you this before as I didn't want to embarrass you knowing that you cuddled with me all night, As I knew you had done it in yours sleep.

Then after the leaving party when you texted me again drunk, I had that same feeling in my stomach when you said you liked me a lot, again just thought it was the drink

But on the train when I was getting ready to get off the train and you hugged me and gave me a quick kiss, I felt it again and so hugged and kissed you back, saying 'Even Now'.

I'm totally confused about my feelings towards you as I have only had them with you, I know I struggle with the girls, maybe its because deep down I like you too, and maybe gay!