Red vs. Blue Oneshots

Advantage+Knock-Knocks

You flicked your sword to the side, knocking Carolina's gun aside.

The said woman in teal groaned in anger. You had been sparring for the past half hour, and so far you were doing better than her by exactly one point, and she was determined to not drop any lower on the leaderboard than she already had.

"What the hell, (S/n)?" Carolina hissed. "What's your stupid little trick?"

It wasn't your fault that you were great with weapons, ones that had lots of new tech in them especially. All you had done was scramble the magnetic field of the match room, nothing big. Well, to you at least. To Carolina, though, it was definitely a big issue.

You sat down in front of her, cross-legged, still as a statue. Now, you would be lying if you said that you weren't enjoying this time teasing and messing with the red-haired woman. Right now, you would pay cold, hard cash to see her expression.

"What, first time you see someone sit down like this?" You taunted.

She shook her head. "Stand up and fight!" Carolina barked. You replied with a joyful, "Nope!"

She raced towards you, pulling out a new gun as she did so. She fired, and she missed. She missed. MISSED.

You had not even been three feet away. And. She. Missed.

Screaming in frustration, she threw her weapon down to the ground and stormed off of the field. You saw York looking at you, your shrug in perfect timing with his.

After picking yourself up, you hiked on over to your locker and saw that a little note had been inserted through the little slot on the top.

It read: I'm watching you.

"Dear God," you told yourself. "Is someone stalking me?"

Shaking your head, you took your helmet off and jammed it inside of your locker. You had just put your normal shoes on when someone else walked into the locker room.

It just so happened to be Agent Hawaii. Ground between you two was a little shaky, the two of you getting into the occasional fist fight here and there.

You frowned as her shoulder hit yours on the way out. Deciding to ignore it, you continued on with your journey to the dining halls. After all, who isn't hungry after a match?

Still wary of the creep-ass note you found, you kept a beady eye on everyone that walked passed. The meal of the day turned out to be green beans and a pile of mashed potatoes with beef gravy. Talk about a cruddy lunch.

Majority of the Freelancers had joined together at one large table, the center one, and were talking about the events of the passing day. Those who were absent were out training.

Deciding that it would be better safe than sorry, you picked a table far away from everyone. No one else sat there, and that was how you intended to keep it.

Well, until Agent Washington decided to move over. Agent North Dakota and Agent Wyoming quickly followed suit. York moved over moments later as well.

"Sooooo," Wash drawled out, eating his food with his helmet still on. He said that he was trying out some new fancy setting with the helmets.

"So how are you doing?" York finally asked, breaking the silence.

"Fine," you replied, trying I hint at the fact that you wanted to be left alone. Either he didn't pick up on it, or he didn't care.

"How was training?" He asked.

"Fine."

"Whatcha eating?" Washington asked.

You stabbed your mashed potatoes violently.

North, who was without helmet, just as York was, raised an eyebrow.

"Cut the crap and get to shit Wash. I know that I'm not one that you guys would talk with without reason. So whadya want?"

Wash raised his hands in defense. "Hey, we only want to know how you do it."

"Do what?" You questioned, growing short on patience.

"What these two are trying to say, is how do you beat everyone in training?" North finally asked.

"Oh wouldn't you like to know," you spat at York and Wash.

"What now?" Wyoming inquired, looking up from his book. Poor man wasn't even paying attention.

"Nothing!" Washington yelled.

Continuing on, you apologized to North.

"Sorry for snapping, but seriously though- how I do things shouldn't really matter to you guys. If you really wanna know, all you need to know it patience. Humans run short of it quickly, so use it to your advantage."

North hummed in thought. "You know, that actually does make some sense."

"See?" You heard a yammering voice behind you and saw that York was just finishing up some one-liner flirt.

"Pardon?"

"I said 'Knock knock." York said, smirking.

"Who is there?"

"Love."

"Love who?"

"Love you!"

York was laughing hysterically. Wyoming looked disappointed in York's attempt of a 'knock knock' joke.

'Two can play that game, motherfucker,' you thought.

"Hey York?" You asked.

"Hmm?"

"Knock knock," you said slowly. Wyoming looked up, waiting to see how this one would end.

"Who's there?" York asked through a mouthful of potatoes.

"Love."

"Love who?" He asked, a playful smirk on his face.

"Not you, that's for sure."

Wyoming clapped slowly, which gained the attraction of the rest of the Freelancers, who started clapping out of pure respect to the high-up.

"Now that," Wyoming stated once the noise died down, "that is how you do a proper knock-knock joke!"

"Goddamnit," York hissed.