Falling Star

Chapter 10: Happy Thoughts?

Emma’s POV

Holy shit!! What am I thinking!!! I just hugged Chad...I let Him Kiss me!!!! (Sigh) Well at least it wasn't a total kiss... I mean could you imagine!!! What’s wrong with me!!!  Just thinking about all the things wrong with make me run even faster. This always seemed to happen. Whenever I would degreat myself I would try to run out of my skin. I know what they say about me is true.

I'm an Ugly! Fat! Desperate Loser!!! Who will let everyone walk all over me!!! Dammit!!! I know it’s true, like when I thought it was a stranger coming for me instead of Chad I was totally ready to kick his ass but when it was Chad I let all my Bloody defences down. I'm pathetic!!!

What is "She" Going to say when I tell her what I let him do... I can already see the look of disappointment on her face. Will she stop being my friend? Did I wreck the only chance of being happy!!! So many questions running through my head and I don't have any answers to.

As I looked around I’m really glad the sun is out. I remember when I first started seeing her I went when she was up. All the snobs that lived around our meeting point ran after me calling me names. It took all I had just to make it to the clearing where the fence was.

Ya I know, I wasn't as strong as I am now. I would constantly be shoved into things or on the ground.  "she" changed me. I mean my confidence level totally went up. "She" would tell me that I don't deserve that. That I’m better. That Chad and the others didn't matter. Now look what I’ve done. I have failed. I'm a failer at this. I'll never be back to the way I was!!!

"She’s" going to be so angry. "She" hates it when I come to a session and all I come with is negative thoughts in my head. "She" Says it delays my progress. “She’s” going to hate me!! I could feel my tears running down my face as I ran towards the clearing. I totally forgot that there was a gate and ran into it. I let the cold metal touch my face. I hate it when I feel this pathetic. "She" always says to think of 'Happy Thoughts'... Happy thoughts... What happy thoughts??? Oh yes the ones that I have been trying to think of since we started my sessions. Please note my sarcasm here! I mean common ever since I've got here there haven’t been any with the exception of meeting her! Okay Emma get a grip... I'm already late.

 "Common Where is it?!"

There is a hug metal fence showing where the boarder of our station is. Every time I can't find the opening to the outskirts of the galaxy. We always met past the boarders. "She" is in the sky longer at the border. “She" tried to explain it to me but I couldn't get the grasp of it. Haha on another note it’s quiet and we are never interrupted. I can truly be myself which never happens anymore. I can laugh all I want and Cry all I want and there’s no one there to Judge me for it.

"She" also tell me lots of facts about other parts of the galaxy. It just simply fascinates me that our universe is full of things that no one has ever seen.

“There it is!”

There’s a hole big enough in the huge fence to get past the border. There didn’t always use to be a fence here. That all changed when two boys jumped off the edge, and were sent to other parts of the universe. They had to send a mission group to find them. I remember my dad was sent to go and find them. My dad doesn’t like to talk about it. He gets upset with me when I try to ask questions of where they all went. I mean who could blame me? But … According to the gossip of the school. They were sent to the closest planet to our station. Unfortunately I was bumped into by James and missed the name of the planet. Man he’s and Asshole. (Sigh) You know if he wasn’t so desperate to be the leader of Chads “Gang” he might actually be a nice guy. Actually when I first got to the school he showed me my locker. He seemed nice. Then Chad came along and it all went downhill. James wasn't the same. If only... Common Emma stops dreaming of things that are NEVER going to happen and hurry.