Egbert

Vikram

"I am a Vampire, if you had any sense you would stay away from me, I'm dangerous" hisses the boy with the fake fangs and brown skin. The spittle from his braces grabs the end of his words so they don't sound as brooding as he had intended. That tends to happen when he gets over excited.

"Every moment I see you I want to rip out your throat." Jumping up from his chair he points a finger violently at the middle aged blonde woman sitting across the circle from him. "You can't love me! You don't understand my pain! Let me be, you can't change me!" He ends his monologue by boring into her eyes and pouting.

"Well Vikram," if the practiced smile wasn't enough, her brittle voice isn't helping to convey any sense that she's genuine either "now we know a little more about you why don't you explain more about your alcoholism?"

"Whoa!" Vikram steps back putting his hands up, "I didn't say anything about being an alcoholic. I'm just a vampire. I don't drink the gin juice" he jumps at her with his knees on the floor before her chair and holds out his finger, "what is wrong with you woman? How can you accuse me of this? If my mother hears I'm a dead man." Clearing his throat and adding loudly to the group "more dead than I already am..." He shuffles towards her, "did my mother put you up to this?" He whispers menacingly, pushing his nose closer to her and narrowing his eyes, "do you know Jaspreet Ghadvana?"

Edna narrows her eyes right back, "If you're not an alcoholic, what are you doing in an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting?" Edna, the woman who is playing host to Vikram, asks- completely indifferent to the delusional. I really don't think this is the first time.

I should explain. But I'm not going to. Not right now, I'm in the middle of reading my comic. I'm the pale boy sitting next the drunken batman. Everyone seems too enthralled or sleepy by Vikram's antics to do anything. Batman just closed his eyes, he's the latter now.

"I just have a lot feelings and emotions that I need to express in regards to my vampirism." Vikram shrugs. "There's no anonymous group for that. We checked." He indicates to me and I nod in agreement. Drunken Batman sits up straight at that, scanning Vikram with more attention than I would've expected from him given that he has been drooling into his bag of skittle for the past twenty minutes.

Edna shrugs his reasoning off and stands up, pulling Vikram up by the shoulder and trying to pop him on the chair next to me, but he refuses to stand and goes limp, landing on his knees and then splaying out on the floor. I guess if we're going to be kicked out again he doesn't want to go easy this time.

"Clearly you're in a deep stage of denial. And I seriously do not care. I have things from the drunken Robin- who is peeing in the coffee- to deal with." She gives up and brushes the dirt off her knee length skirt. "Now get lost Dracula."

If she knew Dracula she'd know that he's a lot taller. Vikram kisses his teeth at her and gives her an appraising glare, sitting up from the floor and then standing. I follow suit, knowing that a dramatic exit is coming. "You'd think that she'd be a good listener with those big ears."

Edna's eye twitches at him and she stares with her mouth open. Vikram cocks his head and clicks his fingers. "Snap. I said it." He waddles out of the room with me leading the way. I take my nose out of the comic and reach for the door handle as he fails to grab it while he keeps up the stare off with Edna. He sways his behind as he walks and cocks his hip out to the side, posing, before leaving. "This isn't the last you've seen of me Edna." Licking his finger then touching his butt cheek he mimics the sound of a sizzle before I pull him out of the room. "I'll be back Edna!" He shouts as we exit. This is why the AA host before her left.

Now I'll explain.

Vikram is not a vampire. What he is- is a fifteen year old whose best friend is a vampire. I'm not the only one. My parents are vampires, half the town is too. And it's very crucial that you understand this; nobody cares. Being a vampire is a regular thing. I'm not sure if the humans in the town know about the Vampirism or not- after Gilbert Ryle exposed his fangs and other bits at the Harvest Festival I assume at least some people are aware- but if they are then they're very cool about it. No one cares, except maybe Vikram. He flipped his stuffing when he figured it out. By 'figured it out' I mean my mother literally tried to eat him and I had to step in before she made him the main course. He still thought we were just European until he saw my father drinking straight out of a blood bag.