The Chronicles of A Bitter Girl

Make It Count

Tanya replayed the night over and over in her mind like a movie. He was so real with her and he didn't even try to hide his flaws. She really respected that but she needed to know more about him. The night ended way too quickly and it was all her fault. Actually it was that stupid squirrel's fault for scaring her. He was going to kiss her, her first kiss in over 2 years. She wanted so much more from him but it seemed like it would take time to get to know all of him. He was transparent about his love life but she didn't even know his last name. She decided to text him to see what he was doing since she couldn't seem to get him out of her head.

Tanya: Hey Devonte, what's up?

Devonte: Nothing much just laying down thinking. What about you beautiful?

Tanya: Nothing, I just came home from work and I thought I should text you.

Devonte: Oh, so you were thinking about me?

Tanya: Don't get ahead of yourself I just thought I should text you because I seen your name on my call log.

Devonte: Sure, keep lying to yourself........ I was thinking about you though..

Tanya: Really? What were you thinking?

Devonte: How fast you ran from that damn squirrel lmao!! You would've thought that the squirrel was a damn demon the way you took off.

Tanya: Lol, shut up! I hate squirrels man they have rabies and I wasn't trying to get bit.... I was thinking though, I still don't know your last name. I feel like there's still so much we have to talk about.

Devonte: My last name is Williams and I am a 24 year old black/columbian male. My dad died before he could see me graduate from college and I came back to Tampa to run away from my problems. I now work as an assistant manager at TD bank and I am the oldest of five children. I love my mom and I have troubles trusting people cause it always turns out wrong. You?

Tanya was shocked that he had told her so much. Her life was way too messed up to just tell him everything like that. For someone who didn't trust people he was telling her a lot. How was she supposed to respond? She decided not to text him back yet because she couldn't think of what to say. After 15 minutes she got another text message.

Devonte: So you just not gonna text back?

Tanya: Sorry, I was doing something. She lied.

Devonte: Okay..... So what about you? What made it so hard for you to trust people? What's in your past?

Tanya wanted to get to know Devonte but she just didn't feel comfortable telling him her problems like that. She didn't know whether or not she could trust him because people always had a hidden agenda these days. She once had a best friend of 6 years that turned on her in an instant all because she was too prideful to tell her sorry. People betrayed her left and right and she wasn't about to tell him everything about her so she could see it end up on some blog somewhere. She was paranoid but she did it to protect herself. 

Tanya: You'll find out about me in time....

Devonte: ......So I get to tell you my life story but you don't? Is that how the game goes?

Tanya: No, it's not that. It's just that my life is so messed up I don't want to scare you away with my mess.

It was partly true.

Devonte: Why would you think I would get scared away by what you have to tell me? No one has a perfect life Tanya so I don't expect you to.

It was now or never.

Tanya: WelI my real dad was never in my life and my mom stays with my stepdad who I can't stand. I have two younger brothers, a younger sister, and an older sister. I don't trust men because I've just seen them do wrong to so many of my loved ones and I truly believe that the only reason I'm still alive is because of God. My childhood was so bad that I'm still suffering from the memories till this day. I'm not crazy but I worry way too much and I don't always like making new friends because I don't feel like it makes the world go round. My boss hates my guts and I'm still afraid of the dark.

She stared at her phone and anxiously waited for his response.

Devonte: Wow...... You're still afraid of the dark? Are you five?

She laughed, he was so silly.

Tanya: Lol, leave me alone! I spent my entire life sharing a room so sleeping alone is not the easiest thing to do especially not in the dark.

Devonte: Well just give me the green light and you'll never have to sleep alone again.

She laid down on her back and stared at the ceiling. She could definitely see that this was going somewhere but she didn't want to fully trust him until he proved that he could be trusted. She didn't know what it was going to take for her to completely trust him but that wasn't happening for her any time soon. She didn't know when she turned so rigid but life made her that way and it was going to be hard to change at this point. She couldn't help but wonder how far it was going to go. Was she going to meet his family? Was she going to take him home to meet hers? It had only been two weeks that she had known him so she would have to wait and see.

Tanya: We'll see about that. Until then you can just buy me a big teddy bear to keep me warm.

Devonte: How about I dress up as a big teddy bear and keep you warm myself?

Tanya: Lol ggoodbye Devonte, l have to go study anyways so I'll talk to you later.

Devonte: Bye beautiful.

Beautiful. She loved hearing that word. She could get used to hearing that on a daily basis even though she knew it would eventually stop. For some reason when he called her beautiful it just seemed completely different from the thirsty guys on the street trying to talk to her. When he said it she felt like he genuinely thought she was beautiful. Like he was comparing her to a precious diamond or a gem. Ugh, she was such a girl.