When A Heartbeat Breaks

Chapter 2 - What now?

I sat there staring at my wrists. Not a day had gone by without another mark or two to add to my collection.

I open my draws shakily as I scavenged for the pocket knife. I eventually slid my finger across the blade. I guess I forgot to close it. I picked it up without a care in the word as to what it is doing to my hand.

After what felt like years, the final slit across my wrist was enough to stop the tears. I had stopped shaking by this point.

I felt nothing.

I felt empty, besides the constant aching pain in my chest, like I did all them years ago. When my mother passed away and left me with this abusive wreck of a step dad. He doesn't even deserve a title of a dad. He doesn't deserve anything. People would say he is probably abusive because of what happened to mother, but she died because of him. Because of what he did to her. And now he found out I'm a lesbian, I think he would happily kill me if I wasn't the only income of money he had.

I gently put the blade back into the draw, slid it shut, and stepped downstairs. My drunken step dad was passed out on the stairs. I groaned in annoyance as I stepped over the body And headed to the cupboard, which possessed antidepressants. My 'happy pills' as I would say. I took my daily dose. Then another. Then another, and so on until I realised what I was doing. I'm not doing this again.

Last time I did I made it out alive. Yey. I put them back and headed upstairs again.

What the hell do I do now? I guess I could draw? I'm not going to listen to music, that will just set my emotions on again. And I'm never going to do that again. There staying off, and that's final. I'll just draw.

I approached my room, hopping over the body, and resting at my desk. Pulling out an empty sketchbook, i let my imagination take over. Not the smartest idea.

I ended with multiple images I didn't even know I drew. One was of a girl, surrounded by darkness. Another one with somebody's shadow as a monster. Another with people chanting horrible words to someone.

This is probably the reason I hadn't drew in a long time. Well that was stupid if me. I just put my book away, but I guess I stood up too fast.

I started getting very, very dizzy. Everything around me was blurry. I couldn't hear anything, besides the deafening ringing in my ears. I tried to walk to my bed but I couldn't. I just couldn't. I ended up face planting the floor. Everything is now black, but i guess the plus side is that the ringing stopped. But my nose really hurts.