This Enchanting New World

Chapter 17

Dizzy and Goth took a moment to register what I had said, then gasped in unison.

"B-b-b-b-but-," Goth stammered in shock and horror, "You're going to be queen of Andalasia! You say it all the time!"

"Goth, I know, but-," a tear stained my ivory cheek, "I was wrong."

I told them everything Calahan had told me and everything that I had told him afterwards, but this time I ended with, "I don't want to be worthless. I want to be powerful."

There was silence. One that sat low, twisted for a bit, and had damage within it.

"I'm so sorry, Clarissa. That must be a crushing blow," Goth whispered softly.

"I don't want to talk about it right now," I replied. "I'm in Auradon, and I want to be happy about it."

Goth took a breath and cleared her throat, swallowing a gulp.

"If you spend your entire life running away to a better one," she reasoned, "when do you stop to understand it? When do you stop to live it?"

My breath shallowed.

"I know I'm always sneaking out, but that's because I can't bear to live my whole life trapped in one place, where nothing ever happens. The only exciting things that have ever happened to me ENTIRE LIFE were being separated from my parents and kidnapped- oh, sorry, adopted," she said in a mocking, patronizing voice, batting her eyelashes, "by Mother Gothel, and now being invited to Auradon, so I would act excited either way, even and especially when there's nothing to be excited about, because it was the only way to avoid boredom!"

Me and Dizzy exchanged wide-eyed glances, understanding dawning on our faces.

"Now you have so many experiences and revelations happening to you in just this one day, and I'm telling you that you have no idea how lucky you are. I'm starting to realize that that's why I was jealous of you earlier- not because of your intimacy with Mal, but because something or someone happened to you that changed everything."

"Goth, I had no idea you felt that way. Thank you for telling me," I smiled ruefully.

"Can we get back to Clarissa not being future queen?," Dizzy asked, taking a sip of her sparkling water.

"Right," Daughter Gothel mumbled under her breath.

"Clarissa..," Dizzy said, "You're my queen."

I buried my face in my pale hands.

"You're just saying that to be nice," I whispered faintly.

"No," said Dizzy through mouthfuls of creme brulee, "I'm serious. Everyone always talks about my 'potential' when they think I'm not listening. They talk about how much more I could be. But you see and know  your potential. You know you could be so much more, and you speak up and say exactly what you're thinking. Those are things I could never do, not even with the strongest magic known to man, but I want to be able to. I want to be able to assert my own self-worth and say that I AM MEANT FOR MORE THAN THIS. I want to be like you, Clarissa. That's why you're my queen."

I shot her a wan grin.

"Thank you," I said, "That means a lot to me."

Through all of this, Goth had stayed silent, seemingly lost in thought.

"Clarissa," she finally started, causing every head at the table to stop eating the heavenly food and turn, "You speak as if you think you simply deserve the throne. You speak as if you need it handed to you, just as you did your escape from the Isle. But have you ever sat down and considered what you've ever done to earn it all?"

I sucked in a breath.

The foundation was being rebuilt, but this time, in a different shape.

"You say you don't want to be worthless, and if you're not worthless, than you're worthy of being queen. Have you ever asked yourself what it is that makes you so?"