There's A Reason - A Larry Stylinson Love Story

Chapter 19 - You Got Me Addicted

My body froze and my mind went blank. All I could feel was the soft touch of his sweet lips on my own and his warm hands, one on my waist and the other moving to the back of my neck, tugging us closer. All I could hear was my heart beating louder. The room faded from my vision until Louis was everything I saw.

We lay there for a minute, both of us surprised to be kissing the other. I was sure he’d done it as a total accidental mistake, and he would regret it later. This may be the only time I was able to kiss him. Why wouldn’t my body wake up and kiss him back?

I felt him start to pull away, and the sensation of the slight loss of his touch caused me to let out a low whimper and free myself from the force binding my body to be motionless. I wrapped my arms around him, yanking him back into my chest and keeping the kiss going.

As Louis realized I was kissing him, I felt him stiffen. Oh, no. What had I done? He didn’t love me the way I loved him. To him, I was his best friend who he’d accidentally touched lips with. I just had to ruin it by full on kissing him. But who could blame me? His soft lips were so tempting already, and once they touched mine I wasn’t fully in control any longer. I let my body and my heart’s desires take over, just this once.

The kiss was becoming more awkward as he was no longer reacting to me, as if he was either in shock or trying not to encourage me. I pulled away, releasing his body and rolling over so my back was to him. Curling my knees into my chest, I felt the tears begin to form.

Why was I so stupid? It was fine to love whoever I wanted. I was okay with the knowledge that I was in love with my best friend. But how could I be so naïve as to let myself believe, even for a second, that he returned those feelings? Of course he didn’t. He was Louis Tomlinson. He was gorgeous, and charming, and caring, and lovable. I was just Harry Styles, his closest band mate. Why would he fall for me?

A few tears ran down my face and I wiped them quickly, not wanting evidence of my crying. I was the stupid one. I’d actually let myself believe, in the moment of him drawing me closer in the heat of the original kiss, that he might love me. That I might have a fair chance at calling him mine. They always say not to count your chickens before they hatch, and I never quite understood what that meant. I sure do now.

I let myself get my hopes up, and now I was crushed. I felt rejected and disgusted with myself. Sure, I was in love with him, but did that make kissing him when he was clearly not interested okay?

I should’ve pulled away. I should’ve brushed it off as an accident, like a normal friend would’ve done. I should’ve made it into a joke. Anything except to kiss him deeper. My body began to shake with the effort of holding back violent sobs. I felt a gentle hand pull on my shoulder until I was forced to roll back over so I was facing Louis.

To my surprise, his face wasn’t filled with disgust or twisted with hate. He wasn’t glaring at me or shoving me away from him. He lay there next to me in all his perfection, staring down into my eyes with a mixture of what appeared to be concern, confusion, hope, and… was that love? Shining in his eyes.

I’d been expecting pain, physically and emotionally. I’d expected him to never want to see or speak to me again. Yet there he was, sitting concerned about the boy who just confused the heck out of him by kissing him.

“Haz? Are… are you all right?” he asked with a worried tone.

I thought about it. Was I all right? Not at all. I was in love with my best friend, who I’d just passionately kissed and who felt nothing for me. But could I really tell him that?

“Yes,” I lied.

He looked at me skeptically. “You’re shaking and have tear tracks on your face, but you expect me to believe nothing’s wrong?”