There's A Reason - A Larry Stylinson Love Story

Chapter 25 - We Need To Talk

True to Liam’s word, the house was empty when I arrived the next morning. I slipped out of my clothes, which felt quite clingy after being worn for an entire day. That was the first night that I hadn’t slept naked in quite a while, and it was awkward.

Sighing with content at my freedom, I scooped up an apple and chomped on it while I looked for a new outfit. I wasn’t sure if Liam was going for us being recognized or not, so I didn’t wear my signature blazer or V-neck. I borrowed one of Zayn’s plaid shirts and Niall’s huge white trainers with a pair of my own black skinnies.

Wait a second, Liam hadn’t mentioned whether it was just him I was meeting up with or al the boys. I swear I would kill him if he was bringing Louis and didn’t warn me. I wasn’t ready to face him yet, and I doubted I’d ever be able to look him in the eyes again knowing he didn’t like me.

Before I knew it, I was changed and ready to go. Hopping back in my car, I took my time heading over to the restaurant. As I pulled in to a parking space, I whipped out my phone to let Liam know I was here and he responded telling me where he was sat.

I walked in and looked around. There, in the far left corner, was a small table with a single boy sitting there. The boy was dark-haired, but that was all I could tell from this distance. I smiled at the fact that he was alone.

Making my way through the aisles, I wondered what he was going to say. He was probably going to ask for more detail on what happened with Louis. Speaking of which, had they managed to get him moving again? I hadn’t heard anything about him since the end of Liam’s call last night. I’d ask when I got to the table.

The nearer I drew, the more the hair looked like Lou’s. I ignored it and pressed on. Soon enough, I was standing beside the table and the dark-haired boy, who had his head down and appeared to be upset. What was going on with Liam now? Reaching out a hand, I tentatively placed it on his shoulder and felt his muscles tense before relaxing under my touch. Strange, this had only ever happened before with Louis. My breath came quicker at that thought.

“Li? What’s the matter?” I ask gently to distract myself. I hear the boy gasp and he whipped around to face me. Stunning blue eyes, messy hair, and the wide mouth of a goldfish being fed. This was not Liam.

“Louis?”

“Harry?”

“What are you doing here?” I cried, still reeling in shock.

He glanced at me. “I was supposed to be meeting Niall. He said he was on his way. Why are you here?”

I rolled my eyes in frustration. “Liam invited me. Said he wanted to have a talk.”

We looked at each other, realization pooling in our eyes. “Those two are so in for it when we next see them,” he says, and I nod my head in agreement. The two sneaky little twats set this up! They each invited us here only to have us meet each other instead! My heart was beating out of control and my breath was coming irregularly. I couldn’t take being so close to him again; it was killing me.

I sat down and slumped onto the table with a grunt. Why couldn’t he just see how much he meant to me?

I felt a hand on my shoulder and my head snapped up. Louis was staring at me with concern and guilt. “Look, Harry, you know we need to talk anyway.”

I jerk away from his touch. “And why should I? I’ve already said what I needed to say.

Do you know how hard it was for me to confess that, Lou? I was so scared, more scared than I’d ever been in my entire life! You’re the most important thing in my life, and I couldn’t stand to lose you. I didn’t want to tell you only to have you leave me or hate me.

I spent so much time being so worried about what would happen if I confess. And then I finally did, and you can’t even give me a reaction? What am I supposed to say, Louis? You tell me that.” I was steadily raising my voice, but as I realized it I dropped back to a whisper.

He looked taken aback by my angry words. What had he been expecting of me, soft and shallow forgiveness? He should know me better than that by now. Once you hurt me badly, I don’t just let it go. It’s just not me.

“But you didn’t try to help me. Do you know how long I’ve been dying to have that conversation with you? To hear you tell me you loved me the way I love you? It’s been forever, Harry!

I’ve been in love with you for months on end, and you were too stuck up in your own drama to realize something was wrong! Not only am I bisexual, Harry. Remember that? The guy I wrote about in that journal is you. It’s always been you. But you took so long to love me back.

I waited for you, all those days you went out clubbing and never came back. I was the one there for you after each breakup.  I was the one you could turn to when you needed a good laugh, or just to talk to someone and let it all out. Why couldn’t you see it? I’ve been in love with you for what seems like forever, and you choose now to fall for me?”

I couldn’t breathe. Louis just said he loves me. Not when he thought I was sleeping, not as a friend or a brother. Louis Tomlinson just admitted he was in love with me.

But as good as the feeling is that builds up inside me, I can’t bring myself to forgive him. Not entirely.

“I know I may have taken a long time to notice it. But you know what, Louis? When I think back, I realize I’ve always been in love with you. I just didn’t know what the feelings were, so I assumed it was that I’d never had such a close friend before. Well, I was wrong, Louis. I loved you. I love you. But you tore my heart to pieces yesterday.

I was sitting there with you waiting for you to tell me something. Anything. You could’ve told me you loved me like you just did, or claimed your hate for me, or your disgust. But you gave me nothing. All those hours spent bawling my eyes out because I was too much of a wimp to tell you the truth, and I get no reaction. That killed me.”

He was beginning to look a bit guilty. “I never meant to hurt you, Harry! But after all that time I spent pining over you like a lost puppy, it was hard to hear you say those words.

I didn’t want to believe it was real, because I didn’t want to give myself hope for no reason. I didn’t want to let myself be brought up only to fall back down once again, like always. How could I believe you meant it for real when you’d always said it jokingly? The second time, when I knew it was for real, you gave me a panic attack. My body and mind didn’t know what to do with all the new emotions. So it locked everything inside. They had to dunk me in a tub filled with iced water to get me out of that state.

You may have been the one who had the courage to tell me, but you also broke me longer because I’m the one who’s been hiding my love.”

By this point we had both stood up and were leaning gradually closer over the table, the volume of our voices rising higher by the second. I looked around and noticed all the people in the restaurant staring at us. Great, now we were going to be tomorrow’s big news.

Louis seemed to realize this at the same time I did. He leaned in close enough that he could whisper in my ear without anyone overhearing. “I love you, Harry. I’ve been fighting for you to fall for me for almost a year, and I’m not giving up. Not now, not ever. You can push me away and try to blame it on me all you want, but in the end I’ll still be here. I’m not going to stop.” With that, he turns and stalks out. I hear the beep of his car unlocking and the sound of a starting motor before the squeal of tires. He was gone.

I wasn’t going to forgive that easily.

But Louis wasn’t going to give up easily either.

Who would last longer?