Chapter 7
The first day of tryouts are over and we didn't even touch a soccer ball after warm ups. The rest of the time we continued to do short intervals of running, time trial sprints and other goodies. By the end of it all my muscles ache and it surprisingly feels really good. I've always loved this feeling, call me weird and all but that's how I am. I pick up my bag and walk slowly to my car, checking my phone on the way. Then I feel a tap on my shoulder and realize its Kam. "Hey Karoline can I have your number?" I smile and tell her my number; something about Kameron makes me happy. Maybe it's her personality? It's a lot like Matilda's. I really miss home, can't wait to visit everyone back at Cali soon. Then I see something and my heart literally breaks into a billion pieces. Someone on Instagram wrote, "Zachary, please be okay. I know you will survive from this accident, I hope your mom can read this to you. Don't worry you will make it through this coma..." before I could continue reading it, I drop my bag into my car, lock it and start running. My mind is going through so many things right now. I NEVER CALLED HIM BACK. What if things end like this for good? Yes I was pissed at him for the things he has done to me, but maybe I was going overboard. All I could think about as I keep running faster and faster is, "Zachary Liam Wells, do not leave me here." I somehow end up at my front door and realize I left my car, tears just keep rapidly falling and I have no control of myself anymore. My heart, my brain, everything is in pain. He never deserved me being so cold; I mean we could work out being best friends like before our whole relationship went downhill. He's tried so hard to apologize and every time I shut him out, I never gave him the chance to explain. There's probably something going on in his life right now and I was stupid enough not to start asking more questions besides asking if he was drunk. I should've known there was more, I shouldn't have hung up and I shouldn't have pushed him away. Dammit. I maybe still really pissed at him, but I still care you know. When I finally get back to my car I sit on my hood and pull out my phone to make a call.
"Matilda. Matilda. Help me. Help me. I'm losing it. I'm literally about to break down. I can't take this hurt. It's like before. I mean Zac is always causing me pain; I should be used to it by now, right? Right?" I try to laugh, but it comes out as a sob. I just started to blurt words out, but she knew exactly what I was talking about.
"He fell into a diabetic coma. You may not be happy to hear this, but it's because he drank a lot and basically drowned himself in alcohol. Kay, his dad and mum got divorced. That's why he's back; he didn't want anyone to find out. But now everyone knows...and I know you feel like it's all your fault...don't feel like that, okay? It's not; I'm going to visit him today, if they will let me in his room. I'll keep you updated okay? Calm down, it's going to be alright. Just believe in him." I'm practically bawling.
"As much as I try to remind myself about the horrible things that he's done to me, I can't hate him. Sure I strongly dislike him, but my heart still feels ...I don't know, worried for him? I just, I can't think straight right now. I'm going to get a plane ticket back soon, after tryouts, pleaseeee tell me if anything happens." After she hangs up I sit and stare out onto the empty soccer field. I find my soccer ball in the car and drag myself onto the field. Standing in front of the goal reminds me of when Zac would pretend to be a better goalie than me and taunt me to shoot against him.
"Karoline Jo, bet you can't make a goal against me. I'm the best of the best. Way better than you." I would smile as he dances in the middle of the goal and shoot. Sometimes I would kick it right at him, just to joke around.
I shake my head and try to focus on the empty goal now ahead of me. As I watch the ball hit the back of the net, I sit down and pull my knees to my chest. When Zac and I were little we tried to make up our own language, our own sport, our own little world. My favorite memory of us two was a "date" to a boardwalk carnival. It was the last hangout we would have in California for a while; this was the week Zac was moving far away from me. He would be all the way in France in less than 5 days. That night we got matching sailor bracelets with the word "Princess" on mine and "Prince" on his. Behind those two small words are bigger meanings. I look down to my left wrist and twirl my bracelet around. Then I whisper to myself, "Til' the world blows up, our fairytale will never end." I laugh and get up to find Jake standing in front of my car. Or I could be mistaken, considering my eyes are still filled with tears, but there's only one way to find out. I grab my ball out of the goal and head to my car. Jake walks up and seems really pissed. So I decide to stay away, I begin to practice my throw-ins until Jake stomps unto the field.
