Walking Backwards (Phillip Hamilton X Reader)

15

     Two hours and I'm waiting at the docks for Philip to arrive. I swing my bag in my left hand as I smile rocking on my toes. This was the moment I finally stop obeying my father and become my own person. I smile and sigh looking around. The white steamboat pulls in and people start to get on. I look around for Philip but he's not here yet. I see a man wearing a uniform for the steamboat.

     "Excuse me, when is the next steamboat coming?" I ask him.

     "Not for awhile ma'am. I would suggest you get on this boat or prepare to wait a few hours," He informs me. I sigh and smile a thank you. He walks onto the boat. I sit back on a bench and wait for Philip. We can catch the next steamboat.

     The next steamboat comes after 4 hours and Philip is still not here. I kick me foot scratching the bottom of it against the cement. I had small tears in my eyes. My heart was swimming in the pool in my stomach and all I wanted to do was scream. So I bit my tongue drawing blood. The second steamboat leaves and I stand to do the same. I turn from the road to pick up my bag.

     "Delilah!" Philip yells. I turn over my shoulder to see him with no bags but looking winded and flushed. He wore a light blush and his hair was messy.

     "You showed," I say with a tune to it. Not a happy tune. He winces at my words.

     "I'm here," He says with a little smile.

     "4 hours late but here with no bags," I remark. I pick up my bag.

     "Delilah, I got caught up," He says, "I was thinking this over and I think it's a bad idea."

     "Yeah I got that vibe two hours ago but you know I'm glad you got it after 4 hours of long hard thinking. Or were you doing something else? You seem flustered," I say with anger pouring into my voice like the angry steam behind me.

     "Delilah, I never meant to hurt you. I thought you would like leave or something," He says. I scoff at his immature words.

     "I should of left instead of embarrassingly sitting here alone," I hiss at him.

     "I think we should just go our separate ways," Philip says. I don't respond I just walk away from him, down the path and around the corner. Once, I was hidden tears stream down my face. How can I be so stupid and to wait for such a man. I wipe my tears away and put on a smile.

    I hurry down the streets all the way to Maiden Lane. As much as I loathed my father right now I needed him more then ever. I open the door to see my father sitting their with a untouched beer. He was sitting on the couch with his bear in front of him just staring at it.

     "Daddy," My voice cracks. He looks up at me with red eyes.

     "Darling?" He asks his voice low and old. Tears flow and I just stare at him.

     "I messed up," I quietly say. He tilts his head at me.

     "I should of listened to you. The Hamilton's are no good," I say through little gasps and sobs. He stands up and walks towards me. He pulls me into an embrace putting the back of his hand on the back of my head so I can rest my face into his chest. I keep my arms down and I let out small cries. He puts his chin on the top of my head and rubbed up and down my back.

     "I-I don't," I try to say. My father just shushes me and continues to rub my back.

     "Daddy why am I so stupid?" I stutter.

     "Your not stupid darling," He says hushed.

     "You told me not to and I did! I followed a lost cause," I say as I pound my fist into his chest as I shake.

     "You may have followed a lost cause but it was not stupid cause. He was stupid for breaking you," He says sternly but not sternly towards me.

     "I use to be so wise! What happened?" I ask him.

     "You fell in love sweetheart and love does that to people. Even the smartest and wisest," He tells me.

     "Did it happen to you?" I ask him. I look up and he takes his chin off of my head. He looks down at me and smiles.

     "All the time," He whispers. He kisses my forehead.   

     "Where have you been?" He asks. I sob into his shoulder and he leaves it alone for now.

     "Delilah, I'm gonna take off work tomorrow and we will go see that play you've been dying to see," He offers. I look up at him with hopeful eyes.

     "But you hate the theater!" I say.

     "I do but if it will make you feel better I'll go to every play in the world with you," He says.  

     "Thank you father," I say. We were quiet for a long time.

     "I love you," I whisper.

     "I love you more then anything and I think I should apologize for the night last year I never addressed," He says. I look up at him and he breaths in deeply.

     "I remember the night of the fire and the knife," He shakily says.

     "You do?" I ask him.

     "And I regret my whole being for that night. I have no excuses for my behavior and I am terrified at myself for acting like that. You are my pride and joy and I hurt you more then ever possible," He says with tears. The regret in his eyes was heartbreaking.

     "It's okay," I say.

     "No it's not!" He argues.

     "I'm over it," I tell him.

     "Even if you are I am not and I will never stop fighting to make it up to you," He tells me.

     "Really?" I ask him.

     "Really," He says. I smile at him.

     "Let's eat I'm starving," I laugh.

     "You pick tonight," He says.

     "Mac & Cheese," I joke with him.

     "It is good!" My father exclaims as he walks to the kitchen, I laugh. I follow him to the kitchen.

     "Just make the food oldie," I tell him. He gasps.

     "Who are you calling old! Your 17!" He says as he points the spatula at me.

     "Oh come on 17 is not old," I say.

     "Well apparently old enough to be your own person," He jokes. I hit him on the arm.

     "Too soon!" I whine.

     "Your right, so don't live here Delilah," He mocks.

     "Shut up!" I scream with a laugh.

     "Alright, Alright," He laughs as he starts to boil the water.