Walking Backwards (Phillip Hamilton X Reader)

3

     "Miss Jefferson," A quiet voice asks waking me from my slumber. I jolt from my bed remembering Philip had slept over. I look down where Philip was last night to see an empty floor. The blankets and pillow was gone. I look over at Suzy who was eyeing me very suspiciously.

     "Was someone in here before I had woken you?" She asks hushed.

     "Don't be silly Suzy I have no friends in New York who would be here?" I tell her. She nods but she doesn't look fully convinced.  

     "Well, Miss Jefferson let's get you ready for your day with your father," She kindly tells me. She opens the curtains bringing the bright sun into my room. I cover my eyes and groan at the annoyingly bright sun.

     "Up, Miss Jefferson," She says as she carefully grips my arm adding a small tug.

     "Please, it's Delilah," I tell her. She smiles.

     "Well, Delilah you are going to be late for your father's carriage if you sleep any longer," She tells me. I get out of my comfy bed and follow her over to my pedestal.

     After, 30 minutes of getting ready I was finally done. I stared at myself in the mirror. I was always so conservative for my father but during the past two years I was finally able to breath. I would never betray my morals but I like the rush I get when flirting with men or how last night Philip stayed over all night. It was entertaining to have to hide and sneak around but I didn't like lying to my father or Suzy.

     On my vanity was a piece of paper with beautiful calligraphy on it.

     Thank you Delilah for being such a beautiful and kind-hearted person. I am so thankful for your hospitality throughout the night.
-Philip Hamilton

     A small knock plays on my door so I quickly hide the letter in one of my drawers. I turn towards it to see my father. He smiles as he enters my room.

     "You look beautiful darling," He says and then he kisses the top of my head. I laugh as he holds my shoulders.

     "When did you get so old," He asks as he looks at our reflection in the mirror in front of us. I had my mother's light brown, waving hair but I had my fathers face shape. I had my mothers green eyes and my fathers nose. My father was around 6'2 where I was around 5'7. He towered me. Philip was around 5'9 the perfect height for me. My father sighs breaking me from my train of thought.

     "What's wrong father?" I ask him.

     "You look so much like Martha," He says. I smile.

     "Was she pretty?" I ask him. I've asked this many times before but I loved the answer my father had so I would ask it often.

     "Every time I looked at her I would wonder out of all the faces in the world. How did I find one so perfect for me," He asks distantly. Like he was remembering her in a dream-like state.

     "I'm sorry father," I say sadly.

     "For what darling? You have nothing to be sorry for," He says coming out of his trance.

     "I'm sorry for killing the love of your life," I say staring at my image. I will never be as pretty as my mother or be loved as much as she was by my father. She deserved to live not me. He turns me around and hugs me roughly.

     "Never say that Delilah! You did not kill your mother and even if I could reverse it I would never even dream of it. She may have been perfect for me but I had 10 amazing years with her and that's all I need. Now I have you and we are going on 15 years. Delilah, I will never regret having you. You are my pride and joy you are the only reason I am living. Never doubt your life again my dear," He says. My face was buried in his chest and small tears fell onto him.