Walking Backwards (Phillip Hamilton X Reader)

20

"Father! Please I am only going into town. There is no need to worry," I yell from across the room at my fuming father.

"Last time you went into town that Hamilton almost assailed you!' He screams at me. His dark skin red with anger.

"He is on bed rest anyway! I only want to see people who don't scream at me every second of the day," I stomp my foot on the marble floor. My father screeches at my action. He jeopardizes my safety as he pushes me out of his way. He checks to see if I had marred the marble.

"When will you learn how naïve you are?" He whispers as he rubs the marble I had stomped on seconds before.

"I am not naïve," I coerce out a whisper.

"Well you would have me fooled, Delilah," He glares at me.

"Why because I want to shop?" I ask as I throw my arms in the air. We both knew that was not the reason onto why I wanted to leave.

"Continuing to let this horrid child hurt and burn you is foolish! When will you realize he will never change. He will always be a loud mouth Martyr. Who will always be jealous if your around other men. But will sleep with any living thing even if he 'loves you'," My father sneers the quote.

"You know nothing," I desecrate.

"How would you know what I know?" He asks me with a raised eyebrow.

"Because you don't understand!" I yell at his cocky look.

"What don't I understand?" He asks me as he, in a slow motion stands up. He gets right up in front of me.

"The feeling we share!" I scream. He laughs in almost an inaudible voice. He looks away from me with a smirk. He faces me once again with the same evil smirk as before. He leans in close to me so our faces are inches apart. I stumble back in fear at his horrifying position. All my confidence had washed out of me. My face drained of color as I stared up at him.

"You may love him but he will never love you back. I know it is hard to comprehend but is true, darling. He will never love you no matter how many times he swears he does. He will hurt you until the end. He may not mean to but he will," He whispers in a harsh tone.

"No your wrong," I try to fight back but his hard glance has debilitated me. My shoulders hunch as I shrink back away from him.

"I'm not. Delilah and you can hate me now but you will thank me for this," He says, "I forbid you from seeing any Hamilton. Even Eliza,"

"What did Mrs. Hamilton ever do to you?" I asked hushed with my arms wrapped around myself.

"Nothing darling, but even the kindest of people can fall down into evil," He spits at me. He turns away and walks away from me. I hear his office door shut and I exhale the air I was holding.

I turn around to see the front door. I walk over to the coat rack and grab my white cape. I wrap it around my shaking figure.

It seems as though the door opened for me. I slip out of the house. My heals clatter against the pavement outside. I decide it's to risky to take a carriage so I walk.

About a mile or two of walking later and I'm at the local town center. I don't shop I only walk and watch the passing people. I reflect on my fathers words. "Nothing darling, but even the kindest of people can fall down into evil," His words replay in my mind. I remember myself before I had met Philip Hamilton.

I was so innocent and wholesome. I use to get appalled at calling cards but now I have some type of pride by getting noticed by men. I use to never want that, I never even thought of what men thought of me but now that's all I can think of. I thought it was disgusting.

But now I am so different. I even threw myself onto Philip with his family downstairs. I pause my walk and in an aggressive manor I run my fingers through my hair as tears run down my face. Am I evil? Has Philip changed me? I freeze at the thought and sit on a nearby bench.

Nobody pays attention to me. They keep walking past the crying girl on the bench. Back home people would stop and talk to you. Here I get glares for it. The feeling of shame washing over me for crying in public. I wipe my tears and continue to walk away from the glares. I hear small whispers behind me and I want to scream at them but I don't I only keep walking.

I end up at the one place I don't want to be. The place I don't know how or why I always end up when I'm upset. I come here when I am the most vulnerable.

The Hamilton's. I want to walk up those steps and fall into Philip's embrace and accept the fact that I'm changing for him. That I'm losing myself and my morals. I was ethical but now I have no beliefs or morals. Everything I use to swear by is gone and erased from my memory and heart.

I take a step towards the house but then I get a strike of fear. My hands shake and my breathing becomes unsteady. I look away from the adorable house. I curse under my breath. I then pause I use to never curse and now it was so easy. I want to scream at the top of my lungs at this point. Everything was becoming so clear. So clear...Philip never came for me, Philip only ever came to me when he needed something. Philip never was happy when I was happy, and he was the happiest when I am miserable.

I look down at my feet. That's when I noticed how dressed up I was. My breast and shoulders exposed. A blush rises on my face. Why am I dressed like a whore?

I turn away from the house and leave. I jog away not wanting to be there any longer then I already was. I pray to God that nobody had seen me waiting outside of their house. Like I was some desperate woman.

I can't go home and face my always right father and I can't go to the Hamilton's in fear of becoming more corrupted. I find a small park and sit under a lone tree. I rest my head against the bark and close my eyes as I let my tears pour.

"Excuse me miss?" I hear a woman ask. I open my eyes and let them adjust to the bright sun before I see a women dressed in red.

"I'm sorry am I bothering you or something?" I ask her ready to leave my resting place.

"Oh no sweetie. Not at all. I wanted to know if you were okay?" She asks me. I sigh.

"Not exactly," I laugh to myself. She frowns and grabs a hold of her red dress. She sits down next to me with her head touching the bark like mine.

"Tell me about it," She says with a loving smile. I smile with blue written all over my face. I look down at my fidgeting hands.

"I don't even know you miss," I say as I play with my hands.

"My name is Stella Sorto, I am 17 years old. There now you know me," She smiles. I laugh halfheartedly.

"Delilah Jefferson I am also 17 years old," I tell her.

"Nice to meet you Delilah. Now spill what's happening," She asks me. I laugh and I start from the first day I met Philip. She nods and makes comments along the way.

A few hours past and I finish with the whole story. I hadn't realized my tears until she wiped one away. I smile through small sobs. She smiles at me.

"Delilah, this Philip guy is stupid. He has broken such an amazing girl and he deserves to pay for it," She tells me.

"How?" I ask her with a shrug of my shoulders.

"I have the perfect idea," She smirks. I watch for a minute. Her blonde short wavy hair blowing in the small breeze. Her bright blue eyes that held so much care and love in them. Her button nose that had soft freckles displayed.

"What's the plan," I ask her. We were both silent for a moment before we both erupt in laughter. We end up on top of each other in our laughter.

"Delilah?" A man's voice calls out to me. I look over and my breath hitches. I sit up straight in front of him.

"Who is that?" Stella asks.