AfterDark's BDSM Project

How To Write BDSM

Written by paudickson

Now that you know the basics of BDSM—what it is and what it isn't, it's time to put the knowledge to use and write your first BDSM scene.

But first, it should be noted that writing a BDSM scene or novel is just like writing any other type of literature. Whether you're writing science fiction, romance, fantasy, adventure, humor, etc. the writer must show rather than tell, use correct grammar and spelling, build some type of conflict and resolution, target their audience, and in the words of Kurt Vonnegut: "Every sentence must do one of two things—reveal the character or advance the action." In other words, every sentence in your story should have a purpose and should lead to something.

A good tip when writing any story is to write down a list of your characters and events that you are sure you want to happen in your story. Under the character's name bullet point their appearances, quirks, and things that make them, well, them.

Here's an example:

—-Edward
• 27 years old
• 5'11
• brown eyes; long lashes
• his ex comes back
• allergic to shrimp
• chin length blonde hair
• submissive
• fantasy: extreme bondage and denied orgasm

Notice how this list isn't fancy and will only take a few minutes to assemble. Having a list or some type of roadmap for your story will help you keep track of the characters and guide the plot.

Now that we've established some common ground when it comes to writing, let's take into account the BDSM subgenre.

When writing BDSM you should keep in mind that some subject matters are of poor taste and plainly illegal, not to mention completely against Wattpad Content Guidelines.

What subject matters am I referring to? Non-consensual sex, bestiality, underage sex, necrophilia, etc.

I am not trying to negate the fact that these things do not happen in the real world and that there are some people who have these fantasies, but why get your book deleted or your account reported, right?

Often times, I come across stories that portray the submissive as either:

Submissive A: a young woman who is shy, poor, sexually inexperienced, hates her looks and has no clue whatsoever what BDSM is. Submissive A falls in love with a hot billionaire who likes it rough in the sack (whips, chains, bondage). She isn't too sure about the sex at first but starts to enjoy it whenever he spanks her on the ass with a flogger. He shows her how to be comfortable in her own skin. She refuses his gifts because she doesn't want to be bought and she's with him because she loves him, not for the money.

Or,

Submissive B: a young woman who is defiant, poor, sexually experienced, sure of her looks, and has no clue whatsoever what BDSM is. Submissive B is taken by a big, strong man with no empathy. She's forced into submission by said man, but she refuses his commands, after all, she's rebellious. Every time she refuses to obey the big, strong man, he teaches her a lesson by spanking her and humiliating her. This happens for a couple of chapters until she starts to give into his commands and the defiance is chipped away. The big, strong man slowly starts to care about her and her feelings toward him develop from hatred to love.

Let's analyze the similarities between Submissive A and Submissive B. They are both young women, poor, and have no clue whatsoever what BDSM is. They also both fall in love with a man in power.

Now for the differences. Submissive A is shy and inexperienced while Submissive B is defiant and experienced. Submissive A hates her looks while Submissive B loves her body. Lastly, Submissive A is introduced to the lifestyle and Submissive B is forced into the lifestyle.