Bad Habits [NOT COMPLETED]

Chapter Twelve

Song Recommendations: Flawless// The neighborhood.

Pressing my warm hand against the cool steel handle of the coffee shop door, I made my exit. The dampness of the night felt sour upon my sweet skin. Cool to the touch. The light fog that formed when my breath contacted with the outside air, aimlessly caressed my face as I began to make my way home into the early night.

New York was alive. Just like it always was. Not matter what hour it is. Between the intersections to every single light at every corner of every block. Streets that glowed with colour.

Horns honked viciously as the traffic only moved at snails pace. Couples shouting as one stumbled upon the other. The white noise of cars constantly moving in the distance chimed in with other sounds. From loud jazz that was playing live from the apartment balconies above my head, as I strolled back home. To the occasional laughing from people. Entering and exiting the taxis.

  New York always had something going on. 

It was a city that was born with a silver spoon in its mouth.

The sky had a faded out rusted burnt orange hue to it as it slowly descended to the ground before disappearing. Almost like it was channeling its energy into the earth. Only to return again tomorrow. Above me lay a gloomy ashy grey cloud of chemicals. Laying so still that you could almost paint a picture of it and call yourself Van Gogh for a day.

It was too late for the sun to be awake, but too early for the moon to be woken from its slumber.

The city lights began to bore their way into the canvas of New York City. Just like they do every night, and stores and shops began to light up their signs of 'open 24/7' in bright flashing lights.

Walking in the direction of a small convenient store, I wiped my cheeks from the remaining tears and rubbed my nose that was now all red and puffy. My lips felt comfortingly warm, but swollen. Only highlighting my red lips more. I couldn't imagine what my eyes had looked like or how my makeup was displayed across my face. I dare not make a hazardous guess for even, I might hate how I looked.

I guess if anyone asks. My boyfriend is done with me. I do have every right to cry. Or perhaps does that make me look weak. Wait.. I know, I know. I'm just after doing a film take. Yeah. A film take.

Setting one foot into the wrong store. I almost has time to escape the view of Kyle.

So he works in this dump of a run down store in a back alley way.

He blends in well with his environment. Trashy and trashy don't make classy. Sorry Kyle.

Pursing my swollen lips together, I let out a sigh through my mouth as my nose was blocked from all the crying. Keeping my head down, I entered the store that had extremely loud air conditioning in the background. The door closed with a 'woosh' of air and the sound of the door jingle cut the silence. Even though there was a radio in the background, making a static crackling sound, It still didn't take out the awkwardness within the silence that hung low all around us.

Making my way over to the cigarettes, I grabbed any packet and threw them on the counter top. Grabbing a lighter that was also being sold at the top counter, I placed that on top of the box. Waiting in the silence for him to scan my items.

"Hey.. you ok?" Kyle's voice spoke softly.Looking up at him though my infuriated orbs, I gave him a death glare, that warned him not to continue talking to me. Nodding my head I handed over the money and grabbed my items. Placing out my hand in demand to be allowed to go again on my travels, Kyle placed the change in my hand.

Turning around ready to go without another word, Kyle grabbed my wrist which made me question his ludicrous actions. "What" I scowled through my puffy narrowed eyes. A low growl escaping my lips. "I'm here if you need to-". Pulling my hand out of his, I let pulled back and gave Kyle a well deserved slap on the face before storming out again. "Asshole" I mumbled as I made my way towards the door.

Exiting the store, I made a run for it until I was out in the open. Breathing heavily, I came to a halt until I made my way over to the pedestrian cross. Fumbling with the box, my fingers seemed to always keep slipping every single time I tried to open the cigarette packet. "Come on" I stressed in annoyance.

-

Entering the apartment, I didn't bother checking to see if Sandra or Blake was around. Wrapping my mind around everything that had happened since Blake came back from his travels, caused me torment and confusion to an unknown depths.

Too much for ones mind to process.

That uneasy restless feeling of your emotions building up in your stomach. Like someone is twisting you insides. Slowly. And unsteadily until it happens. The pain. Burning right though your stomach. Slowly up to your battered brain. Setting your thoughts a light. Burning right into the night.

I don't cope with things.

I like to ignore the problem until it eventually goes away.

Sadly Blake wasn't a problem that was going to go away anytime soon.

  The pain. This feeling in my chest and stomach made me second guess my decision as it had become all too real.

M fingers tremble around the cigarette as I began to light it. The smell and taste were just as bitter as I felt. Perhaps that's what gave me comfort. I sucked the smoke deep into my lungs that were far too burnt out already, remembering all the warnings but not caring. I held it there trapped, thinking how my lungs must hate me now . Releasing it from my puffy lips, I dared to break a smile, as I watched the ribbon of smoke twist and squirm as it joined the bitter cold night.

I swear I tried to be happy.

I really did try.

But I am sad.

So so incredibly sad.

Love can be set in motion. But true love needs time to grow into something strong, beautiful, and made to last.

A/N:

Inspo ; Tumblr.

WHOOOOAAAAZZZZZ whats like going on here in Ella's life?

What's your thoughts??