My Double Life

Friends

My alarm went off and I jumped up with a startle, only to feel immediate pain. I walk over to my closet, strip off my pajamas, turn towards the mirror, and let out a breath a didn't realize I had been holding in.

My stomach has a huge bruise from where the guy the night before had kicked me and there was a smaller bruise on my leg. I don't even know where that one came from. Maybe from when he was kneeling over me I guess. I didn't even feel any pain there before.

So now I'm in pain, tired from the (lack of) sleep I got that couldn't have possibly been two hours,  and scared. Ed said he would take care of everything but I couldn't help but wonder about Ryan. I don't know what I'll do if he recognized me last night. I wasn't really doing anything wrong, except he caught me walking to some man's room!

Something must be wrong with me. I don't know why Ryan is getting to me like this. I don't even really know him. Besides, it's not like I've never had a boyfriend, because I have. It just never works out. I mean, how do you explain to a guy why you're always taking off at a moment's notice when you can't tell them the truth. I can tell you how you explain it, you don't. And then the guy thinks you're cheating and the relationship is over before it can ever really begin.  And I'm around extremely attractive all the time on the job, so his good looks shouldn't mean everything to me. I could have any guy I wanted, so why is it that all I seem to want is Ryan. Ryan and his good looks, his beautiful hair, and smiley face, his kissable lips. Woah, Kaya. Kissable lips? Really?

Feeling more depressed than ever over my lack of a love life, I decide it's best to just get dressed and take what the day brings. Since I was no longer the nerd girl, today was going to be fun to get dressed for. I slip on a pair of dark blue skinny jeans and a fairly conservative black top. The top straps around the neck so my entire front side was covered. The back however was low cut and slightly risen at the bottom so my lower back tattoo was in perfect view. I throw my hair up into a pony tail because it hits around my waist and gets in the way too much. No makeup today because it's too much of a hassle. I slip on a pair of black combat boots (girly ones, not like the ones I wear at work) and head out the door, keys and backpack in tow.

I pull up to school minutes later feeling awesome with my new baby. I hop out, immediately feeling the eyes of people staring, probably wondering who the new girl was. I can't really blame them for not recognizing me from yesterday though, today I'm a new person. I keep my head straight to show confidence when really I'm a wreck inside.

I get to homeroom a little bit early and find a seat in the corner near the window. Today is not the day that I want to be stuck having to interact with people. I keep my head low hoping people won't approach me (I've been told I can sometimes be pretty unapproachable, which might actually work in this situation).  And just when I thought today would be a good morning, I hear a familiar voice hovering over me.

"Woah Kaya. New look?" Ryan. Of course it would be him of all people.

"Uh, yeah. Yesterday was an off day I guess." I look up at him and feel my heart beat increasing. His beautiful smile is shining at me. Stop smiling Ryan! Can't you see what you're doing to me right now. This sucks.

"So I was thinking that today after school we could get together for those French lessons."

I have the day off today because of the op I ran yesterday but I can't trust myself around Ryan. My brain tells me to say no but my mouth blurted out "Sure, so after school?" Stupid, Kaya.

He laughs, someone help me! "Yeah, sounds like a plan. I couldn't help but notice what you pulled up..."

"Yeah?"

"Think maybe we could take your car?"

"Yeah, Phillips. We can take my car. But that doesn't mean I'm letting you drive. Now go away, class is starting." That's good Kaya. Be mean, maybe he'll back off. But no, he just smiles an award winning smile at me and walks to another seat.