The Preachers Daughter

Chapter Eleven

I flipped the last piece of chicken over in the grease and ran to the front door to open it for my mother. We've been meeting up at my place every Tuesday for family dinner for the past couple years, and she's never missed a date or been late. I know it's because she misses me and with me living so far, I rarely get to see her. She tells me how much she understands that Zy'Air and I need our alone time to be a happy couple. I smile when she says it but it's going in one ear and out the other. The time for me being head over heels for Zy'Air are long gone. At this point, I'm just here. I've waited seven years to receive a proposal and the honer to carry his last name and as everyone can see, the shit hasn't happened and it probably won't. I don't even give a fuck anymore.  

I never got introduced into the game like my mother promised. No one made another move on us after that night in front of my mother's old place. My mother said it was no reason to put me in a life that I didn't need to be in. I knew she only said that for her own sanity. She was never on board with the idea to begin with. And to be completely honest, I was actually relieved I didn't have to take over. I was completely terrified of knowing that I will be living the rest of my life looking over my shoulder. Of course in a way I do that now, but there is no need for me to make it worse. I took this as an opportunity to actually fulfill my dreams and goals. I sat one night and explained to Zy'Air my plan, and how neither one of us had to be in the streets if everything went how I wanted it to. That shit was like talking to the wallpaper because he didn't listen to anything I said. Nigga is twenty-five years old still trying to keep up with these young asses selling dope. I don't even know how he still manages to get money to keep up with this place. I told him I could work to help take the pressure off him and he insisted that I stayed my black ass home. So, I stopped asking questions. 

I opened the front door and hugged my mother tightly. She hung on longer than I thought she would, and I knew something was wrong. I pulled her inside and closed the door behind her. I led her into the kitchen and poured her a glass of her favorite wine.  

 "Mom, are you okay?", I asked her.

She took a big gulp of the wine and nodded. "Why wouldn't I be okay?"

"I'm a grown ass woman and you're still lying to me about what's going on?"

She took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. "I finally signed them".

"Signed what?"

"The divorce papers".

I could tell by my mother's face she wasn't happy about signing them. Hell, she been holding on to them all this time. 

"What made you do it?", I asked.

"Other than his bitch threatening me?"

"You were scared-"

"Child, no! Me of all people was not paying big Bertha no mind. But she was fighting hard for a man I no longer wanted. So, it was no point of me continuing to hold on".

"How do you feel about it?"

"I feel like I've wasted my entire life trying to make a man happy who will never be satisfied. But hey, at least I got you out of the deal".

I smiled and kissed my mother's cheek and went back to the stove. I didn't want her to see the hurt in my eyes. Despite me being older, everything that transpired with my father still gets to me. He hadn't called, or even sent a postcard saying he was okay or asking me was I okay. It was like when I walked out of his front door, he washed his hands with me completely. Like he wasn't just divorcing my mother, but divorcing me too.

"Where is Zy'Air?"

I rolled my eyes and started whisking the mashed potatoes harder than what I needed to.