The Preachers Daughter

Chapter Twelve

I woke up from the feeling of Zy'Air trailing his fingers up my thigh. I've been trying my best to act like everything is normal and nothing has changed, but that is damn near impossible to do. Every time I look at him I get reminded of what my mother went through with my father. The lies and the deceit. The other women and the secrets. I can't deal with it. It's like getting saved from a fire and being thrown in the deepest water to drown. Either way I'm gasping for air and my life is slipping away from me. 

I moved his hand off me and dragged my feet to the bathroom. I should be happy today of all days. Every year at this time is when I'm always the happiest. Everyone goes all out trying to make sure I'm feeling my best. But I am in no mood to celebrate my birthday. Everyone will be lucky if I even come out of my room for the remainder of the day.

"Babe, are you okay?", Zy'Air said coming in the bathroom. He leaned against the sink and I rolled my eyes. He knows how much I hate when he just walks in and decides to have conversation when I'm trying to use the toilet. 

"Why wouldn't I be okay?"

"You haven't said much to me these past couple days. What did I do now?"

"I don't know, you tell me".

"This is what I don't have time for".

He angrily left me alone in the room. A part of me wanted to scream out how hurt I was. That I met his baby mother and the child he failed to tell me about all this time. How betrayed I felt that she was able to carry his seed, while I was stuck with my legs cocked open while a doctor I hope I never have to see again sucked the life out of me. But instead, I stayed silent. Once again putting my pain on the back burner. 

"Rabbit!"

I heard Annie scream my name from downstairs so I hurried and finished my business to meet her. Her and Zy'Air can't be in the same room for a certain amount of time or it turns into chaos. And I am no where in the mood for either one of them.

I got to the bottom of the steps and wanted to run back into my room and stay there even more. Annie, like always, is extremely extra on my birthday and I have to always mentally prep myself for it. Well, I skipped that process this morning with my morning breakfast. She had on a t shirt with the most embarrassing picture of us as kids on it and a least a dozen balloons in her hand.  

"Is this necessary?", I asked her. "We are grown as hell now and you're still doing this".

"Well somebody has to show they give a fuck", she said while shooting a look at Zy'Air. He took one look at me and nodded, knowing he wasn't going to win this battle. 

"Happy birthday, Zoyanna", he said. He came over and kissed my cheek then walked out the front door.

"Why does it seem like you not feeling this?", Annie asked.

"Because I'm not".

"Since when? This is the only day you can give into the spoiled brat that lives inside of you".

I shook my head and turned to go into the kitchen. I know she's trying. Hell, I know everyone is. But I'm just not in the mood and I wish people would catch the hint and leave me the fuck alone. 

"Can you just tell me what's going on?"

She just doesn't give up. "It's nothing, Annie".

"What the fuck is the point of me being your best friend if you can't tell me shit?"

All the yelling she was doing, did nothing but make me more upset. I wanted to scream at her, at everyone, to just let me be. But it's not her I'm upset with, it's myself. I'm pissed that I let Zy'Air do this shit to me and that I stayed. I could've been somewhere else, riding into the sunset stress free. But instead I'm sitting here wondering why the fuck I'm so stupid.