𝐜𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐦𝐲 𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐞 ✧ 𝐝.𝐭.

i'm sorry II ; ethan dolan

[ i forgot to write the second part sorry! ]

ethan.

i slammed my phone on the desk.

"what the fuck have i done!" i yell as i throw my lamp at the wall.

"i lost the girl i've ever loved." i sit down on my bed and cried and rested my head in my hands. (sorry that doesn't make sense.)

i hear a ding and lift my head.

i reach for my cracked phone screen.

y/n:
meet me at my apartment tomorrow at 9.

read 4:36 a.m.

y/n:
if you're late, we're over.

read 4:37 a.m.

i type back once i read the texts.

me:
you won't regret this.

read 4:42 a.m.

me:
i need to explain
myself anyway.

read 4:43 a.m.

THE NEXT MORNING
_____

i wake up at 7.

i get up and walk to my bathroom.

as i take my clothes off, i start to think.

what am i gonna say to her?

will she even forgive me?

what if she moved on already?

what if she hates me more once she sees me?

i shake my head and get in the shower.

the warm water soothes my cold body.

i take a slow breath in and out.

i let the water hit my face and run down my throat.

after
_____

once i open the big glass door to the apartment complex, i smell the familiar scent.

flowers and vanilla.

it was weird but it smelled so good.

i smile and walk to the elevator.

i press the 8th floor button and look at the time.

8:01

i look at the elevator walls.

i look at myself at the mirror walls, i was a mess.

my hair was all tangled.

my eyes were red and puffy.

i had dark bags under my eyes.

i heard the bell and turn to the open elevator doors.

i walk out and turn to the right.

room 516.

511, 512, 513, 514, 515,

516.

i stand in front of it and debate if this was a bad idea.

i raised my hand to the door and hit it three times.

i looked down at my feet.

i heard the door open.

my head snapped up and saw her beautiful face.

covered in tears.

"hey." she sniffs.

"hi." i clear my throat.

"um, you can come in." she steps to the side and let's me walk in her apartment.

she closes the door behind me and walks me to the couch.

she sits in the corner of the couch and i do the same.

we both sit in silence.

"i'm sorry." i gulp.

she didn't say anything.

"i'm sorry for the pain i caused."

"that wasn't me, i don't know who that is. all i know is that it's not the real me."

she only moves in her spot and looks out the window.

"i made a mistake, now i'm living with the consequences. and that's losing you. i regret it, i really do."

i saw the sadness in her eyes.

i didn't know what to say.

i couldn't think of anything to say that would take her pain away.

so i kept on saying in my head "i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry."

i didn't notice the tears running down my cheeks.

"what you said really hurt me e." she sniffs.

tears kept running down both of our faces.

"i was mad. i'm so sorry for what i said. you aren't ANY of those things y/n. you aren't a slut, you aren't a hoe, you're far from that." i cry.

"i'm a big mess, and that's the last thing you need right now."

"i'm just so scared to lose you." i break down.

i feel her arms around me.

"i am too." i hear her say.

"i'm so fucking scared because you mean more to me than any other person. you're everything i think about, everything i need, everything i want. you helped me through tough times y/n. i've lost everyone except for you. you're the only one who makes me happy."

"i forgive you."

i look up and stare into her glassy eyes.

"r-really?"

she nods.

i hug her body.

"you won't regret this. i'm nothing without you."

i had a tiny breakdown right before this,
that's why it's too detailed.