My Grey Nights {EDITING}

Chapter 7.

Chyna McCartney

The argument that Noah and I had still lingered in my mind from last night. All night I sat in my room watching sad ass movies and crying, nobody has been home since the day my mom left and I think it's been two days now. I wondered where they went, I dragged my self off the couch and walked into the kitchen and found a note that I didn't even notice,

"Chyna,

We're going to be gone till Wednesday and I don't want you fucking up my house or bringing any of your sex toys over. Do you understand me? if I find out, you will be wishing you didn't you little piece of shit. Now be good!

Dear, Selina. "

I scoffed, when did she ever start addressing herself to me by her real name? What ever. I thought as I balled up the peice of paper and threw it away. I walked over to a cabinet, opening it, I grabbed the bottle of Advil cause my head was throbbing. Walking over to the sink I got a cup and filled it with water. Throwing one of pills into my mouth and drunk some of the water. It flushed down my throat and I made my way to the bathroom down stairs. My hair was all other the fucking place and I needed a shower badly. Cutting on the shower, I put it on hot. The steam started to appear as the mirror became fogged, stripping my clothes I stepped into the steaming hot shower. I took a deep breathe an exhaled, I began to let the hot water beat against my raw exposed skin. Inhaling the smoke it also soothed my headache. Putting my hands above my head I started to rinse my hair as I move under the shower head. I grabbed my towel and my gel body wash and spread it upon the towel and started to wash my body.

After a thirty minute shower, I wrapped my self up with a towel and walked out the steaming bathroom. Wiping the sweat from my forehead I made my way back up stairs. I didn't even know why I didn't take a shower up here. I walked into my room and went to my draws and pulled out my green under garment set and slipped them on. Walked into my closet, pulling out a plain white T-Shirt and some pink sweat pants that stopped above my knees and then some white Ankle socks. Putting my clothes I wrapped my hair up into a messy bun, then sat on my bed and stared at my light purple painted ceiling.

My phone vibrated and I turned my head to my dresser in which it was charging on. I grabbed it and it was a text from Sid.

Sid: Open the door, I'm riding up.

Chyna: okay...

I stood up and made my way out the room and walked down the stairs. I unlocked the door and turned around to go into the living room. I sat on the couch and waited for him. I heard the door open then close,

"Where you at mami!?" He yelled through out the house.

"In the living room!" I yelled back turning on my tv and started switching through channels.

"Why every time I bring my ass over here I get confused and start going in circles in this bitch trying to find you!?" He asked sitting in the couch. I chuckled lightly putting on a fake smile as if nothing was wrong.

"Oh, well it isn't my fault you fail to memorize my house even though you been here many times. " I replied glancing at him then back at the tv.

"What's up with you?" He asked scrunching up his nose showing a wrinkle between his eye brows. I shrugged.

"There's nothing wrong with-" I started,

"Awe come on Chyna! you act like I don't fucking know that you try to hide the fact that there is something wrong. You've been going it for a long time, so stop the bull shit!" He confessed. I refuse to look at him because I know his face is red and I'm going to cry, so I refuse to. It still didn't stop the tears from falling one by one. Sid knows I hate being yelled at, he is so fucking wrong for this!

"Stop crying Chyna damn, I'm sorry for yelling...okay?" He said letting out a frustrated sign. I nodded still not looking at him and whipped the tears away. After a few minutes of silence Sid spoke,

"You know, I hate that your so fucking insecure." He said, I snapped my head in his direction and looked him up and down.

"What?" I said making sure I heard him correctly.

"You heard me..."

I laughed trying to hide my true feelings. "Shut the hell up, -- just shut the fuck up Sid!" I semi-yelled. Throwing the T.V remote controller across the room. He looked at me wide eyed at my sudden out burst.

"What the fuck Chyna!?" He yelled at me. "You have lost your got damn mind."

"No Sid, I haven't. I'm so sick of mother fuckers like you judging me for who I am when you don't know half the shit about me! So Sid you can happily kiss my ass!" I screamed at him. He just stared at me then stood up,

"You know what Chyna fuck you, I've been trying to be there for your ass, but you know what... I'm done with your bull shit!" He said storming out of the living room and out the door slamming it shut. I stared at the couch and suddenly broke down. Dammit Chyna! I thought as my tears drip onto my legs.

See, I've lost another loved one that I thought had my back. Shit, if I'm losing all these damn people maybe... then maybe I should just disappear off the face of earth. No! I'm thinking over exaggerating. Tears poured from my eyes I can't keep fucking crying! get your shit together Chyna! I thought as I wiped my eyes.

Getting up I ran to my room and put on some shoes grabbed my hoodie and phone along with my keys and made my way out of the house. I sniffed and got into the car and drove to another part of town people say is the most baddest part of New York...Harlem, New York ...

§~§

Prostitutes and drug dealers fills the streets tonight. I sat in my car looking at my time it was nine fifteen. I took a deep breathe and hopped out the car and walking across the street towards the man with a black hoodie on and his hands stuffed in his pockets. I know this is dangerous but I wanted to do something crazy tonight. I walked up beside him and he turned his head up at me. He was a black male, and I'm guessing he knows what I want because he pulled out a dime bag from his hoodie.

"How much?" I asked.

"You seem a little to young, but five dollars. Imma' do you a favor make that two since you so beautiful" I dug into pocket and we exchanged it. I started back towards my car before he grabbed my forearm making me start to panic.

"Oh, mad bad ma, but I just wanted to know your name." He said, I looked up at him and he was very handsome for a black male. He had curly hair a small goatee on his chin a skinny face with great structure. But that didn't change the fact that I'm in a New York's number one crime city with no one around.

"Um err, maybe next time..." I said walking away from him I got into my car and drove away as fast as I could. When I arrived back home I went to my dad's study and went into his draws and found a pack of swishers and ran down stairs to the kitchen. I grabbed a knife and pulled the dime bag from my pocket and sat it on the island countertop and began to cut it up. Opening the swishers I emptied out the Tabasco and put the weed into it, and began licking paper. I rolled the weed the licked it again making my finishing touches. I grabbed my lighter and lit it. Putting it between my index and middle finger I put it to my mouth taking a pull. I started to choke on the smoke. Shit! I thought, so I cleared my throat. Putting it back to mouth and took another pull.

After I was done with it I started to feel woozy and dizzy and felt all giggly. I was laughing because of the lines on my hands. I don't know if this is how I am suppose to feel, but I felt good and loose like I didn't have care in the world for that moment. I know what I'm doing but then again I don't. I sat on the couch and minutes later I was laid out....

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July 11, 2014