A few weeks after the wedding
[Warning this next part maybe triggering, there are mentions of self harm. If you are sensitive to that kind of stuff please either skip or read with caution]
Rogers POV
I looked down at the mess I had made. I told myself, Brian, and even Freddie that I wouldn't be stupid enough to do this shit again. It burned but it kept my mind off the thoughts in my head. I was pitiful, not even strong enough to not let myself hurt me, what made me think I could stop anyone who was gonna try to hurt John or Robert? I felt worthless, hell I am worthless. I dropped the blade into the trash. God how stupid could I be, if I left it there Robert or John could find it. I picked it up and put it in my dresser drawer. I heard the door shut. Shit.
"Rog I'm home!" Johns sweet voice called out, I panicked.
"Roggie? You okay?" He called as he made his way up stairs. Shit shit shit. I kept thinking I should move or hide it but I was frozen. John walked in and stopped.
"Rog... Roger what... what happened..." He asked as he looked at my wrists and thighs.
"I..." I started to say something but John cut me off by gently grabbing my hand and taking me to the bathroom. He grabbed the first aid kit from under the sink and started wrapping up my wrists.
"Roggie... why?" He asked, I just shook my head. I couldn't stop the tears.
"It's okay, babe it's okay Im not mad, I promise." He said as he began cleaning the cuts on my thighs. I winced but let him finish.
"I... felt so worthless John.... I felt like..." I trailed off. He shook his head.
"Roger, you'll never be worthless to me. You'll never be worthless to Bri or Freddie. And you'll never ever be worthless to Robert. Do you know how much he looks up to you Rog? He tells me every day when he gets home from school how much he wants to be like you. He loves you more than he loves me I think." John said as he placed bandages across my thighs. I sighed and put my head in my hands.
"I'm such a fuck up John..." I cried. I felt like I couldn't breathe.
"J-jo..." Was all I could get out before everything went black.
Johns POV
Roger passed out and fell backwards I barely grabbed him before he hit the ground. I heard the door shut.
"ROBERT CALL 999!!" I screamed, I heard him grab the phone and dial quickly.
"Ambulance!!" I yelled before he could ask. He talked quickly. He finished talking and hung up before sprinting up the stairs.
"Dad!!" He screamed when he saw Roger, he ran over and hugged him tightly.
"Dad... dad please... please wake up.. daddy make him wake up! Daddy!!" he said shaking me. I heard the ambulance arrive, I carefully picked him up and carried him downstairs. Robert followed close behind me, trying to keep his composure. The EMTS quickly got him on to a stretcher and into the ambulance. Robert was clinging onto me sobbing. How am I going to explain this to an 8 year old... I thought. I was numb, I didn't know what to think. I was pulled back into reality by Roberts crying. I knelt down and pulled him into a bear hug and tried to calm him down.
"Robert... honey listen you gotta calm down, Please honey breathe..." I said as he cried. I knew I needed to call Brian. I picked up Robert who was still sobbing.
"I gotta call uncle Brian honey..." I said as I set him on the couch. He ran to our room and grabbed one of Rogers jackets. He wrapped himself in. I quickly called Brian.
Brian's POV
I sighed as I picked the phone up.
"Hello?" I asked tiredly.
"B-Bri... I... Can y-you come get Robert?" John asked, he sounded panicked.
"Y-Yeah what's wrong?" I asked grabbing my keys and wallet.
"R-Rog is in the hospital... I-I'll explain when you get here... Just h-hurry please.." He said quietly.
"I'll be there," I hung up and left quickly. I drove a little to quickly to their house.
"John!! I'm here!" I called as I ran up the stairs. Robert was wrapped in Rogers jacket. He pointed upstairs to their room. I made my way to find John going through Rogers drawers.
"John what the he'll happened? Robert looks a mess, you do as well." I said.
"He tried to kill himself, unintentionally. He cut up every part of his skin I could see. I was cleaning them up and he blacked out. I panicked." He said softly. I inhaled sharply and pulled him into a hug.
"I'll take Robert to my house, he can stay there. I'll get you to the hospital. Everything is gonna be fine John." I said as pulled away. He nodded. We both headed downstairs, Robert hadn't moved.
"C'mon buddy, we can get something to eat okay?" I said as John picked him up. Robert laid his head on his shoulder and started crying again.
"Daddy... is dad gonna be okay?" he asked softly. John nodded and and carried him down to the car. John looked like he was about to loose all composure.
At the hospital
John and I walked in, the nurses asked us who were there for and we told her. She pointed to a room down the hall, John pushed past me and got into the room just to start sobbing. As I walked in, it got hard to breathe. He looked horrible. John leaned against the wall tears streaming down his face. He slowly slid down and rested his head in his hands. I wanted to comfort him but I myself couldn't move. It didn't look like Roger in the bed, it looked like shell of the once great Queen drummer. John sat completely frozen.
"Bri... Bri what... what if he doesn't make it?" he asked. I shook my head.
"Don't think that, don't say that. John don't think of the worst." I said. He just bit his lip and sniffled.
"But what if..." He trailed off. I didn't want to think about that happening. I quickly went out to the pay phone and called Freddie.
"Fred I need you here, we are in the hospital. Get here now. I'm lost I don't know what more to say. Just get here," I said before he could even get a word out. He said something but I hung up before hearing it. I made my way back to the room. I sat with John for a little until Freddie got there.
"Bri? Where are y—" He said as he walked into the room. He rushed over to Roger and covered his mouth.
"Freddie..." I said and he turned, John couldn't even look up. Freddie walked over and sat next to us.
Johns POV
Does it ever get better?
