I'm freaking out, the first book reached #1, I've never had this happen to me and I'm really grateful. I can't thank you guys enough for making this happen! ❤️
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I bit the inside of my cheek to the point were i can almost taste the blood. I wouldn't say there was tension in the room, it was more like awkwardness between us. Well, probably not her because she's been in that same spot a million times before.
"How was your day?" She asked with a slight smile.
"It started off great, and then it completely went to shit." I admitted as I looked around the room. Always the same, books neatly stacked on the book shelf, a colorful rug on the floor, plants on the window sill, white walls.
God, I hate white walls.
She began writing away on her notepads, "How so?" She asked.
I sighed as i sat up in my only comfortable chair, "Richie and I did one of our famous jokes at school and that was pretty fun," I said, "Then i showed this new student around and he was really nice," I smiled slightly, "Then there was this other new kid, she was a complete bitch and turns out they're siblings, I don't know how they're in the same grade, but i don't even care about that. Richie and i got into a fight again and i walked away from it."
She nodded her hair, "You do know what today is, right-"
"Of course i do," I interrupted, "I count the days every year." I said as i swallowed the knot that formed in my throat.
"How about we talk about it?"
"How about we don't? We've talked about it too many times and you know what? It makes things worse, i think about that day over and over and talking bout it doesn't seem to make it go away so no, i don't want to talk about it, okay? No more." I said as i took in a shaky breath.
"Do you think that has something to do with your temper today?" She asked. I didn't answer, because i said i would not talk about it. "Okay Cole, we won't talk about it today," She said with a kind smile, "There's something I actually wanted to talk to you about," She started, "You've been on your medication for a while now and I've seem very good improvements; however, you're mother and i thought it would be best if we took you off for a while."
I widened my eyes as i felt my heart fall to the wooden floor, "What? No, no, no. You can't do that, you don't understand. They help me sleep, they keep me from going crazy, you can't just rip them away from me." I said all in one breath as i looked at her like a maniac.
"Just for a while." She said softly as she looked down at her notepad.
"Four years ago, today would of been the 5th day i hadn't slept. Five days awake, Dr, Norris. After that i continued to remain awake for days and when i was lucky i would sleep 2 to 3 hours and then repeat. I went crazy in my room, and i completely fell apart. You can't rip away my only source of sanity please," I begged, "I promise i'll open up more, I'll go to the group you wanted me to go to, I'll even talk about that day, please just don't take me off my meds."
"Cole, the medication you're taking is highly addictive and through the years you're dosage has just gone higher and it's not healthy. As your psychiatrist this is the best move for now." She said as her eyes never left her notepad.
