I Can't Think Inside This Box! a book about autism

sensory stuff

Autistic people almost always have some sensory sensitivities, though not all people with sensory issues are autistic. I could do a whole book on stuff about sensory and it will be a co-star in this book because it rules the roost around here, as it does for most people on the spectrum and their families.

One thing for me is always hearing and noticing everything. The plane flying over and the cars going by and the dog barking down the street and the crackling of a water bottle and a cricket chirping and the leaf blower next door. Instead of being background noise that's tuned out, these are often announced loudly and repeatedly by one's senses and extremely hard to ignore. And that's just sound.

We can be constantly reminded by our brains about the clothing we're wearing, the temperature we're in, the sunblock lotion on our skin, etc. A tag in a shirt will send the message "there's a tag in your shirt"  over and over until it's all one can think about.

Same with sights; there is no way to tune out everything we see, so a person with sensory sensitivities often sees every little detail, so for instance going to an amusement park can be visually overstimulating alone. Plus our minds can read things we see as too bright, too sunny, too colorful. I love kaleidoscopes like, a lot, but can only look at them for a very brief period of time because it's *too* good and becomes overstimulating.

For me, sensory processing disorder (which is also called sensory integration disorder) means no clothes feel right, my brain thinks water--especially cold water--on my face is painful, sounds are too loud and wayyyy too annoying, food has to be a certain way or kind or texture or temperature, the tiniest splinter feels like my foot was cut off, I'm never where I think my body is so I'm always knocking things over and dropping them and running into stuff (developmental coordination disorder aka dyspraxia). Smells drive me crazy; perfumes/lotions and cooking smells and tar and any scent you can possibly imagine probably bothers me. We have a bunch of forbidden shampoos and detergents and dryer sheets and dish soaps etc. labeled with skull and crossbones and DO NOT USE because the smells are too much. Not necessarily bad, just too much.

It's awkward and socially agonizing to be friends with someone whose perfume makes you sick. It's a nice perfume. It just overwhelms my senses. Then I have to either mention it, or stop hanging out with them. Literally. I'm like a bloodhound, it's awful lol. 

Bells and windchimes and dogs barking can drive me so crazy I can't handle it. I cannot tell you how annoying they are. And repeated noises can send me into sensory overload really quickly so it's obnoxious on all the levels! This is a severe form of misophonia, which is the name for that thing that makes most people cringe at the sound of others chewing. Misophonia gives you unreasonable strong feelings of annoyance, frustration, or even anger. I've had neighbors with barking dogs that basically ruined my existence while I lived next to them. There is no cure or treatment; immersion therapy doesn't help. 

Things are easier now as of this edit in 2022, but for years, for my daughter putting on pants could ruin at least an hour for her if they didn't feel right. Sounds and sights were overwhelming. For years we battled the tiniest wrinkle in her sheet, the clothing that just didn't feel right no matter what. She still won't wear shoes other than flip flops (neither do I so I get it), socks (ever), or anything other than her three pairs of pants (same pants, different pattern) that are super soft with no tags, and her three shirts that are the same. We just found some boots that are fuzzy and soft inside and she's started wearing those with no socks, but even those are too much some days. 

She does NOT like to be touched. For the most part I can touch her and only on her terms. She just began giving friends a hug on Tuesdays (I have no idea why Tuesday lol) before the pandemic started so she got about three hugs in and then hugging days were over. I'm of course all about body-autonomy (your body is your own) and have never made her hug a relative or let them hug her or any of that. This can be like torture to an autistic or spd person! It's literally painful to have to endure unwanted touch.

Plus, your body is your body, and I want her to be very clear on that.

People (especially elderly relatives) have tried to bribe or guilt her into giving a hug and I obviously don't allow that. It's absurd how our culture thinks children's bodies aren't their own. Ridiculous. Especially to someone who gets genuinely distressed by unwanted touching. 

So she likes hugs from me, when she wants them, and likes to hug me, when she wants to, or be rocked sometimes if she's upset but calm enough for it, but God help you if you pat her head or touch her hair because she will let you know how she feels about it. 

There are two main kinds of sensory issues overall though they're often mixed; seekers and avoiders. Just like they sound, some kids/adults seek extra input, extra pressure, extra tight hugs, extra spinning and moving and jumping and noise. They want new sounds and textures and tastes; they crave input. 

The avoiders, of course, avoid most of these things. 

I am an avoider across the board; my daughter is a movement seeker and a pressure seeker while also avoiding touch, new foods, noise, new textures. This is not to say I don't like affection from people I know and am comfortable with, as is true with many autistic people. But if you're a stranger do not touch me. I often have different colored hair, and it's so bizarre how many people think they can just touch my hair. Gross. I don't know where your hands have been. 😝

Oral input is a big thing, too, and seekers can often be found chewing on something. In fact they make jewelry just for this reason, aptly called "chewelry". 

There are a lot of things that can be done to help people who have sensory issues. But that's another chapter!