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there are seconds in life when you think everything is fine.
when you're on the run for clues to find out exactly whom it is you're searching for.
it wasn't taehyung's fault he felt like he was stuck in the middle of the bridge of oblivion. he just didn't want to get off it because he knew he'd have to deal with his problems head on. and kim taehyung was never good at facing his own heart.
the last few days had surprisingly gone well and taehyung had been refusing to believe that he was falling harder for jungkook. he knew it was going to blow out of his own control but he kept it within him. like he always did. it was impossible for jeon jungkook to feel things. that fact was set in stone. and taehyung knew he couldn't break his own facade while speaking to jungkook.
so he decided to do the one thing he shouldn't have, and started to act like it wasn't working. all over again. he decided to push them back to square one.
it was selfish. but what would jungkook lose anyway? he probably just acted courteous to taehyung because they're both under investigation or because they have to put up with each other's face 24/7 as they're living in the same space.
it's not that he didn't want jungkook to stop talking to him now.
it had come to that point which taehyung dreaded. for taehyung, attachment is the ultimate red sign, because he knows people will leave. atleast, that's what his little brain thinks.
jungkook had somehow burned his existence into taehyung's brain. and he wasn't sure why but everyday the past week, jungkook was all he could think about. he wouldn't be able to go for a second without wondering what he was upto. but taehyung would shake his head vigorously, telling himself that it was simply because he sees so much of the younger every day.
he refused to talk to jungkook the next day, which was a saturday. an entire week had gone past without them fighting and maybe there was bickering but jungkook always smiled and kept the situation in good spirits and intentions.
storms weren't taehyung's favourite thing, and right now jeon jungkook was being one.
a thunderstorm.
taehyung didn't want the waves to crash against his skin, he didn't want the lightning to set his eyes swirling into amazement, and he most definitely didn't want his heart sailing in the midst of that very storm, to topple over with its weak sail and top mast.
he wanted to drown in it.
___
jungkook was more than ecstatic when he saw that the friendship was working out fine.
jungkook knew his feelings would ruin things. that's what he thought, because he never really nurtured or fostered feelings in his heart, in the fear of getting left behind.
dealing with it by fighting the said person for whom jeon had feelings for isn't necessarily the best way to battle out rapid heartbeats and butterflies in the tummy, is it?
it all started getting worse again when taehyung started avoiding him that saturday. he furrowed his eyebrows as he began to ponder over his actions.
was is something he did? or said?
his thoughts were interrupted as a crash of glass startled him. he slowly turned his head to the source as saw taehyung weeping on the kitchen counter. he looked as though he couldn't understand a thing that was happening around him. the older looked as though he wanted to dissolve into the floor and not return.
and jungkook was not fine with that.
he walked over and held taehyung's hand as the older sobbed, refusing to look at jungkook and the younger, not wanting to push him into saying anything, simply squeezed his hand in assurance.
he propped his elbows up, keeping their fingers intertwined.
___
"i don't think this is working..." taehyung sniffles after five minutes of non-stop crying.
"what are you talking about, taehyung?" jeongguk didn't want to hear it. not now. not after all the work he's done.
not after being this close.
"this, us."
jungkook dropped tae's hand, and looked at the boy's hair with utter confusion. tae didn't dare to look up.
what?
"i don't get what you're-"
"the pain. it's too much jungkook. i'm so scared i'll hurt you again, it's-"
"hey, hey. you haven't hurt me in a long time, okay? we've been good for a week, kim. please don't make us go back to where we started."
"i'll hurt you. i'm sure of it. a-and there'll come a day when you'll never forgive me. what do i do then?"
"what do you mean "then"? nothing's going to happen, taehyung."
"look, i need time. away from you."
"you know damn well thats not going to happen, kim. you're being unreasonable."
a thick blanket of silence covered them before jeongguk spoke up again.
"look, we're on house arrest for a couple more days. when school starts, it'll be a bit hard. but, you'll just have to get through it." he said, rather bluntly.
"what makes you think we won't fight again? a place can trigger memories and so can scents. school just happens to be the place where we fought , if you forgot."
"do you want to go back to that trash ? fighting everyday ?"
"at this point, that seems less painful than this."
