Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
thumbs twiddled, mouths were closed, silence ensued.
the two boys didn't know how life brought them here. jungkook never wanted taehyung to know about his feelings. because frankly that would put an end to every single chance he had at conversing with the older boy.
so jungkook did what he did best after taehyung told him to sit. he disobeyed and opened the door, grabbing his coat after mumbling a "sorry, i'll be back. i need to get something."
he needed to get his mind back.
what scared jungkook wasn't the expectations he had. it was the fact that he had hurt taehyung so much and still loved him to pieces. the fact that he was the one who broken taehyung into pieces and maybe now, he has to fix him. he's scared that he'd have to be the one to clean up the mess he made.
____
the cold air pricked at his fingers and ears and he snuggled further into his coat as he went to the closest park and sat on one of its swings, sighing to the wind.
why wasn't he a normal child without any issues was the only question spinning around in his mind right now.
before he knew it, he was crying. crying at the irony and at his stupidity.
he held the edges of the swing and looked down as the sand absorbed his big tears one by one.
he couldn't. he couldn't face taehyung.
it would be of no use.
getting up, he wiped his tears as he walked back slowly to the place where taehyung would be.
he opened the door with caution and walked quickly to the kitchen, not knowing that taehyung was right there, sitting against the cupboard on the floor.
"hey."
"biTCH WHAT THE FU-
h-hi taehyung."
"did you get what you needed?" taehyung looked up and in that moment jungkook knew that if he didn't tell taehyung what was bothering him, it would end really badly.
taehyung's eyes were red. he looked like he had been crying for days together. his face was pale and his once plush lips were bleeding because of the dryness.
it looked like he had cried to the point where he couldn't anymore.
jungkook kneeled down to face taehyung and took his face in his hands.
"i can't put this off any longer." jungkoo said, looking into taehyung's eyes, their breath mixing.
"what is it?"
jungkook held onto taehyung's face like it was the last time he ever could.
"taehyung. my little star. i love you. so much. and im sorry for never being blunt about the feelings i had for you. and always resorting to an unhealthy coping mechanism. i can't be without you for even a day, i never could. and when we fought, i didn't care about my bruises a single day. all i could think of was just you and if you were doing alright."
jungkook choked on a sob and bit his lip, trying to go on.
"what i'm trying to say taehyung, is somewhere along the lines of realising what a dick i am to the part where you are you, i guess i finally mustered up the courage to openly say i'm in love with you. and you don't have to take me because i wouldn't allow that. never. you deserve the entire universe, love. and im sorry i made the world seem so hostile for you. i just didn't know how to cope with my emotions and the way my family reacted to the gay community. if i could turn back time i would. but if that was possible, this moment wouldn't exist now would it." jungkook chuckled a little and looked away, his eyes bloodshot.
"i'm so sorry baby. i can't tell you how long i've wanted to say it. but i guess you needed an explanation after seeing that text and i understand.
i know you hate me and i would too so it's alright. i hope you find someone who treats you the way you need to be treated, my prince. i hope you find the happiness you're worthy of."
by the time jungkook was done, both of them weren't stable. jungkook had been stuttering and stammering throughout his confession and his face was stained with the tears he knew he deserved of shedding.
taehyung had been bawling the moment jungkook had said those three words. he held onto jungkook's hands that were holding his face and he looked straight into his eyes.
"i love you too."
jungkook wriggled out of taehyung's grasp and stood up.
"you don't taehyung. you shouldn't. you need someone who doesn't have such a shitty past with you. i can't bear to see you hurt again, and maybe being with me is risking that."
"no, jungkook you don't get it. i've wanted you for a long time. i knew it in middle school."
jungkook turned around quickly to face taehyung and his eyebrows scrunched up with confusion.
"you, wait... so when you saw me in seventh grade with that girl you liked-"
"i wasn't sad that she was kissing you, jeon. i was ripped because you were kissing her."
jungkook's cheeks puffed out and he turned to support himself with the help of the kitchen counter.
"taehyung. joshua is a good guy. he'll take good care of you and you have no bad memories with him."
"none with you either, kook. all i remember , is just you. i don't ever think of the fighting. sure, it's a huge part of our growing up but when i think of you, i can't help but think of what life would be like with you. every time i think of you, it's just those bunny teeth and doe eyes. nothing else.
give us a chance. and if it doesn't work, we can stop."
"no taehyung. i'm scared because i know it'll work. i know that once i know what it's like to have you, i wouldn't want anything else in this goddamn world. i know i won't be able to leave."
taehyung sighed as he looked away, tears still falling.
"so, what? we're just going to continue to be around each other like this didn't happen?"
"find someone taehyung. i won't be able to because i've tried moving on and it doesn't work. find that person who'll keep you sane."
"i have." taehyung stated as he walked into his room, leaving the door open while he crawled into his bed , staring at the moon.
