It was three days before my 20th birthday, and I was going home to celebrate it with my grandma Leigh Ann, like any other birthday since I remember. I never met my dad and my mom died giving birth to me. So, it was me, my grandma and Patty, my grandma's cat. I study in Oxford University, London, but my home was in Empire, New Jersey.
My father Eugene Rickards saved money to get me to a fine College and live life not so stressful till my 21st birthday but that's a year away so I just got on the plane and relaxed.
When I landed and saw my grandma's face, I was immediately content, she had a happy vibe that doesn't matter if you are sad, or angry or want to kill someone, her mood relaxes you.
"Grandma!" I hug her like life depended on it.
"Baby girl! How I missed you. You look all grown up" I love her.
"You say that every time we reunite" we laughed. "Where's Patty?"
"She's in the car. Don't worry, Analine came with me. You remember her right?"
"Analine? How could I forget her! She taught me how to apply make-up at four" I so wanted to see her.
"Let's go, she's dying to see you" we left.
When we reached the parking lot and saw Aneline with Patty in her hands I almost cried, they were the only family I had. "Analine! It's so good to see you after fourteen years. How have you been?"
"I am fantastic, my 60s are not so bad. Wow, Lisa you look just like your mother, the hair, the eyes, the lips, the freckles. So beautiful" a tear escaped the eyes of the three of us.
"Enough with the tears I need to get home and shower, then we can cook a pie" the thing I loved the most about this two beautiful ladies, is that they love to cook and I did too.
On the way home, we talked about me when I was a todler, and I had no regrets about growing up without parents, the only regret I have is that I don't know how my mother looked like. A lot of people tell me that I have so much in common with her, but I don't know what to believe because I don't even have a photo of her.
"So tell me, any boys who stole your attention?" my Analine asked.
"No, I want to be focused on my studies, and nothing more. But there's this girl named Emilia, she's my roomate, that steals me out at night so she can karaoke with other friends" she's the only girl I call 'best friend'.
"I knew you were smart but I never knew you were an Einstein's descendant. This Emilia girl, is she a bad influence?"
"No, she's lovely, caring and when we go out at night is to a gay bar and we laugh, share stories, but we do not drink a sip of alcohol. Yes, she's lesbian but because of a hard past, I don't judge her and she doesn't judge me" I smile.
"I like her already. But why would she judge you Lis?" Grandma asked this time.
"Because I'm still virgin. Yes before you say anything, no I haven't lost it" they laughed at me which kind of made me blush of embarrassment.
"I'm so proud of you Baby girl but, it's your body, and you're almost twenty no one has a saying in your 'status' so, that's not something worth judging" I avert my eyes to the window and she says "Lis, what are you not telling me?"
"Grandma, I haven't had my first kiss yet" now I'm pretty sure I look like a tomato, bacause I'm totally embarrassed.
"What?" this time Analine looked surprised. "Why haven't you?"
"Because I haven't find my special someone"
"Well, we cant judge you, I received mine when I was thirteen" grandma admitted and I smiled.
"I received mine and lost my virginity at fifteen, so no judgments here either" Analine's confession made me remember that she has only have one boyfriend, one husband and one love.
When we got home, and saw the house I thought 'Where's the yellow painted walls?' then I remembered that my grandpa died a year ago and he's favorite color was yellow, so my grandma painted the house blue. Well, not her but me.
It was noon so I got a shower and unpacked the few things I brought. When I saw a photo of my dad I cried, because this is the 20th birthdah I spent alone, he died three weeks before my birth. Drunk driver. Brain hematoma then brain death, so I heard.
At 3pm, grandma and Analine were getting ready to cook pies, so I went downstairs to the kitchen to help them.
"Baby girl, because it is your birthday week I'm going to make your favorite, peanut butter and jelly. Then we can go watch a movie or something" have I said how much I love my grandma?
"I'd love to!" And just as I remember, in the process of making pie, we go back in time to when I was a child and ruin the kitchen with ingredients all over the floor and cabinets.
By 8pm grandma was asleep and Analine was almost there so I asked before she give up "Analine, is there's something wrong with me?"
"What do you mean honey?"
"Why won't I fall in love? Why I feel alone when I'm away?" I was deperate, I can admit that.
"Maybe because your heart's not ready. Maybe it is that the love you receive from Leigh Ann is not enough, or from Peter or from me. Maybe because the love you really want to feel is from your parents. Is not a bad thing you know, feeling helpless. You just have to learn to live with it, because in a blink of an eye your heart may give up being helpless and that's the moment you'll know you're ready and the moment you'll know that it was worth the wait" her words crushed my helpless heart, but help me relaxed a little.
"Thank you auntie, I do love you and find your love enough. Let's make a deal, when I find myself in love with someone, I'll tell you first if you come with me tomorrow to the spa" an offer she can't deny.
"Deal" she smiled and a couple pf seconds later, she was asleep, leaving me alone with my thoughts.
