i can't love you

1

adores POV
its the second week into battle of the seasons, aka bots, and im already over it. dont get me wrong, i love spending time with everyone and getting to meet the fans and perform i just am so used to being alone and getting to do whatever i want without anyone questioning it.

willow: hey chola! are you ready?
me: hey willow, ready for what?
willow : im starting bots today !
me: fuck i completely forgot! when are you getting here?
willow: im not sure maybe later tonight
me: no that sucks
willow: i know but ill buy you pizza when i get here
me: PARTY!!

i put my phone down saddened that bianca isnt coming sooner, she was the main reason i agreed to come on tour at all, im very introverted especially when im not adore. i do love spending time with all the queens but im the closest to bianca, at least ive had courtney with me though. i dont think i would have coped without her. courtney and bianca are my bestfriends and i love them with all my heart so i agreed to come on tour mostly to spend time with them too..okay, mainly bianca but still.

around five minutes later the tour bus door opens but im still in my room and didnt feel like going to see who it was, im on a tour bus with lasky and katya and there are two rooms each with two single beds. they let me have my own room since they know how introverted i am so i was very happy. "Adore come out here!" alaska yells "whyyyyy" i groan "adore you're gonna love it!" katya yells. i drag myself out of bed and go over to the living area, my jaw immediately drops as i see bianca standing there "you fucker you said you werent getting here till tonight" i say as i run over and hug her "i possibly could have lied" she says jokingly "i missed you" i say "i missed you too" she says but she whispers it as she doesnt want alaska and katya to hear her being all soft. "told you youd love it" katya says jokingly, all the queens know how close me and bianca are. i love bianca. alot. "so you are lucky enough to get to share rooms with the pizza bitch" alaska says jokingly to which i playfully punch her arm "oh party" bianca says mimicking me and rolling her eyes jokingly.

[small time skip]
i check my phone and its 7:52pm so i decide to go in my room and put pjs on, whilst im practically naked bianca gets out of the shower, shes staring at me so i jokingly say "like my body?" in my anna nicole smith voice to which she laughs and throws a pillow at me "you're such a whore" she jokes. i decide to put on a bianca del rio tank top, i decide not to put pants on since the top is oversized since i bought it back when i had my hog body and...and wasn't starving myself. its hard to admit that but its the truth. "jesus adore that shirt is huge on you, last time i saw you wearing it it fit you perfectly, what happened?" she asks "oh uhm no-nothing" i reply "you aren't starving yourself are you?" she asks with a laugh as shes joking but i just look at the ground because although she didn't know and was joking, it still hurt hearing her say that. "hey,whats wrong?" she asks with concern visable in her voice as a tear escapes my eye and trails down my face, bianca looks at my pale and frail body and realises "oh adore.. im so stupid im really sorry, i never would have thought of it since you've always seemed happy with your body-your beautiful body" bianca says pulling me into a hug, i cry into her shoulder for a bit "im pathetic im sorry" i say before leaving the bus to have a smoke