i can't love you

10

dannys POV
In an attempt to keep away from roy i havent left my moms house in 3 weeks, im a mess without him. i havent shaved, ive showered like, once and ive lost so much wait because i havent brought myself to get out of bed to get food. i also have hardly spoken to any of my 'sisters' ive been ignoring all their calls and messages. i don't know what to do with myself i thought it was the right decision-breaking up with roy but im not so sure. He hasnt posted anything on instagram since i ended thing and he doesn't tweet either. something doesnt feel right, at all. i just need to know that he's okay. i thought ignoring him and avoiding him at all costs would make it easier but i think i was wrong.

i decide to call brian (katya) to see if she knows how he is "DANNY?!" katya basically yells down the phone "whoah, yes hi" i reply "oh my god i thought you were dead!" he jokes "might aswell be" i reply seriously "how are you?" he asks "i think you know the answer to that bri" i answer "you and roy should still be together, you were made for eachother" he says "its whats best for roy, trust me i miss me him a LOT" i tell him "is it really whats best for roy or is it just michelles dumb mind games?" brian asks "its whats best for him i was just slowing him down "danny are you that oblivious? he hasnt been on social media he hasnt been replying to anyones calls or message JUST LIKE YOU, and the one time i did speak to him he was just slurring everything and making no sense because he was drunk. danny you need eachother"  brian says "rewind rewind, roy never gets drunk" i say "yep well he was smashed, daytime aswell" brian responds "he'll get better, he'll be fine by next week im sure of it bye" i say then quickly hang up and sob. i hate myself for doing this to him, i thought it would be good for him. clearly not.

roys POV
its been 3 weeks since danny broke up with me, once i finally came out of the bathroom at that place i lost it with michelle, luckily trixie and katya came in and took me home because i dont know what i wouldve done.

life just doesnt feel worth it anymore, danny was my world and hes gone. ive been getting drunk everyday to numb the pain but i need more, i think...i think, i think i just need to die. if im going to do it, im going to do it tonight. i write out a long drawn out suicide note and folded it and placed it on my kitchen counter. i the. decide to post one final tweet.

you all have been so good to me, however i just cant do it anymore. goodbye, i love you

short and sweet. hopefully people dont catch on TOO quickly so i have enough time. i put a hoodie on and head out the house, i begin walking to the nearest bridge. ill jump from here. my phone is lighting up with calls from katya, trix, alaska, sharon, bunny but i ignore them all, im about to turn my phone off when my phone lights up one more time however its not any of the other girls 'chola' danny is calling. "hello?" i say shakily answer the phone "ROY WHERE ARE YOU" he asks sounding flustered "not important" i reply flippantly "roy please dont do anything stupid, roy please" he begs "why do you care?" i ask "roy you know i love you please tell me where you are, what are you doing" he asks again "im jumping danny! okay?! im jumping!! i cant live like this" i tell him "please, tell me where you are" he says and i can hear him silently sobbing. i know he thought he was doing the right thing, michelle convinced him i was better off without him. "the bridge near my house" i mutter and i can hear him start to run and his engine start "roy please, im begging dont do anything okay?" he says through tears, im now crying with him, "im so pathetic" i whisper and hang up the call.

i get to the bridge and sit on the edge dangling my legs. "ROY!" i hear someone yell and i turn my head to see danny running towards me, i edge futher forward holding the bars to keep me from falling "baby please no" danny says crying "i need to dan, i loved you" i tell him "I LOVE YOU ROY" he shouts "but you left me danny" i say bitterly "because i thought you would be better without me, you know that. roy im so sorry i let michelle into my head" he says "danny ive already made my mind up" i tell him "fine" he says and he comes up to the edge of bridge a swings one leg and one arm off "danny what are you doing" i ask confused "you jump i jump" he says "danny dont do that" i say "i cant live in a world without you, im so sorry for everything. i love you more than life itself" he tells me. i cant let him die, i cant. i slide backwards and move off the edge of the bridge. "THERE!" i yell and danny quickly climbs back up and runs and wraps himself around "im so sorry im so sorry im so sorry roy i love you so much" he says flustered and not letting go of me, we're both in puddles of tears "take me back?" he adds and i nod "i love you too" i tell him and he pulls me into another hug.

dannys POV
i feel completely crushed. i, adore fucking delano, daniel fucking noriega, pushed roy to the edge. literally. i feel awful. i fucking let michelle get in my head, again. ive been sat on the bridge for an hour and a half just holding roy, he looks so broken and weak. ive never seen roy like this, not even close to this i am the actual definition of the worst person ever. "im sorry danny" he says finally "what? what for?" i ask softly "for being so dramatic, for making you feel awful. i understand its what you thought was best, but i was lost without you i felt like someone had cut my heart out" he says "trust me willow, i was a wreck too and you have nothing to be sorry about " i reply "ready to go home?" i ask and he nods sadly "yours or mine?" i ask and he smiles realising i meant both of us going to the SAME home "um, i dont think you want to see mine, its a mess" he says "so is mine" i reply "hotel?" i suggest and he nods. "roy?" i say as we begin driving to the nearest bnb. i grab hold of his hand and squeeze it reassuringly "we'll get through this." i say.