i can't love you

4

danny/adores POV
roy avoided me all of today, it crushed me im not going to lie but i will find out why tonight, we have a show so he can't ignore me all through that. roy and i both get ready in silence. i put on a black shirt dress with a red flannel and my classic red hair paired with a black beanie. i look at myself in the mirror and instantly feel disappointed so i quickly rush out but trip and nearly fall, roy caught me and we were face to face. i have the urge to kiss him-so i do. i always listen to my gut, even if its stupid, i listen to it. roy looked at me astounded before just leaving and getting off the bus since we had already arrived at the venue.

[small timeskip]
the show had gone great so far and now it was time for snatch game. i dressed as me, and alaska was ganja, sharon was- i didnt care enough to listen she was just funny and..bianca was host.

bianca asked alaska a question but she ignored it and went into the ganja vs adore bit. "adore, i feel like you came for me" she says "when" i say, exactly how i said it in the episode of untucked "i dont know when! i dont know what you said! i just feel like you came for me!" she said going all high pitched-she was doing great as laganja. "oh dont do all that girl, dont do all that" i say, everyone seems to be loving the back and forth, even bianca is laughing. me and alaska finish and its my turn to answerthe question "next up is adore.." i get excited just because i get to talk to bianca and be near her "but- i dont need to ask her the question because the answer is either pizza or party!" bianca says making it seem like and joke to the audience but we both know she was serious. she quickly moved back to the other side of the stage and i look at her, im really angry and its showing on my face but to be honest, i dont care. i place my microphone on the ground and leave the stage, i make it jokey and dramatic so the audience think it was planned and part of the show.

i run into my dressing room and feel tears coming down my face. "im sorry" i hear, i turn around to see bianca stood there. before either of us say anything she kisses me, i pull away slightly and just lean my forehead on hers, exhausted, "why are you doing this?" i ask as a single tear escapes the grasp of my eye. "what?" she asks and we pull away fully "you heard me" i say slightly irritated "one second you are my bestfriend, next you hate me, then you kiss me, then you hate me again. what are we" i say "chola i love you" she says "well it doesnt feel like it" i say before wiping a few tears and turning to walk away. she grabs my arm gently and turns me around and kisses me, i let it happen for a few seconds. i love her, i know i do, but i cant be certain that she isnt just frustrated and wants to use me when she likes. tears roll down my face and i pull away from the kiss "bianca.. i cant do this" i say "what? cant do what?" she asks "this. you constantly changing your mind and feelings for me, im going back to the bus. you think about what your actual feelings are and let me know." i say as tears start to flow down my face, i leave and go back to the bus. i am so exhausted.