Him and His Hoodie

Chapter 7

Chapter 7

       Dad's work was having a family barbecue type thing that I had to go to even though I was currently in one of my moods where I didn't feel like going out anywhere. I had a feeling the only reason why I had to come was because of the way I had been acting recently.

       At least Mom and Dad were letting Jerome come with me since he was one of the very few people I didn't mind being around when I was in one of my moods. In fact, he was probably the only person.

       It wasn't even five minutes after we showed up that I was really wanting to go home. There were a lot more people here than I thought there would be and I was really starting to feel anxious. Very anxious.

       I couldn't even stomach anything right now. I tried. I filled my plate with food but once I sat down with my family, I just couldn't eat anything. 

       Nobody seemed to notice how I was feeling except for Jerome. "Are you okay?" he asked me in a quiet voice.

       I nodded. "Yeah. I'm fine."

       I could tell he didn't believe me, but he didn't keep asking. That was one thing I liked about him. He knew not to pressure me into saying something otherwise that would make things a lot worse for me.

       I was really hoping the feeling I had about being here would pass, but it wasn't. It was getting worse with each passing second. My lungs were feeling a lot more constricted, making it hard for me to breathe.

       I had to get out of here.

       I looked over at Jerome and quietly said his name. When he looked over at me, I said, "I can't be here anymore."

       "Okay, I'll take you home," Jerome said.

       "My parents aren't going to let me leave," I said. "That's the problem."

       Jerome reached into his pocket and pulled out his car keys before handing them to me. "Here, just head to my car," he said. "I'll tell them I'm taking you home and they can't say no if you're already by the car."

       I nodded and got up from the table before heading to the parking lot where Jerome's car was. As soon as I unlocked it and was sitting inside, I tried my hardest to go back to breathing normally but it wasn't really working, and to make things worse, I could feel tears stinging my eyes.

       Jerome soon got into the driver's seat of the car, but he didn't start it up. Instead, he looked over at me. "Are you okay?" he asked.

       I could have lied. I thought I was going to but I didn't. "No, I'm not," I said. "I told my parents I didn't feel like going and they still made me and there were way too many people there and..." I stopped to take a deep breath before wiping my tears away. "Sorry."

       "Don't apologize," Jerome said as he started up the car. "There's nothing wrong with you not wanting to be around other people right now."

       I knew he was right but I didn't say anything else for the whole car ride. I just hated feeling this way at times and it made me feel like such a burden to everyone else, especially when they had to stop what they were doing to help me out.

       When Jerome pulled into the driveway of my house, he turned off the car and I made no effort to get out of the car. "You must think I'm pathetic," I said.

       "Are you serious?" Jerome asked. "Nolan, you have anxiety and you're carrying so much weight on your shoulder. If you ever have a mental breakdown, I'm not going to think you're pathetic because really, you're the exact opposite."

       I snorted. "Yeah, right."

      "I'm telling the truth," Jerome said. "You are one of the strongest people I know, and I'm not just saying that because you're my friend or to make you feel better. You really are a lot stronger than you give yourself credit for."

       "Strong?" I repeated. "I broke down in tears just yesterday because there was a spider in my room and everyone refused to kill it."

       "Yeah, I know," Jerome said. "You called me over since nobody would kill it for you. But that's not the point. I'm not talking about spiders. I'm talking about you, and how you try to put a smile on everyday even if you're feeling anxious. How you normally put everyone's feelings ahead of yours. How you're carrying such a huge secret with you but you're not letting that change who you are. You're not pathetic at all. You are such an amazing person."

       I looked down. "I'm not that amazing," I muttered. "I'm not amazing enough for my family to realize that there's something wrong. That I'm keeping some massive secret. They only think that I'm acting differently for whatever reason. None of them have made an actually effort to figure it out."

       "Because they know not to pressure you," Jerome said.

       "I'm not expecting them to pressure me," I said. "I just... I don't know. I want someone to make it seem like they actually do want to know what's going on with me. They rarely ask. It makes me feel even worse and alone."

       "Hey," Jerome said softly, gently lifting my chin up so I was looking at him. "You should never feel alone, okay? You have me. You'll always have me."

       "I know," I said, my voice as soft before realizing I was getting completely and utterly lost in Jerome's eyes as my heart started beating faster.

       And before I knew it, the both of us were leaning in.

       But I stopped. I stupidly stopped before our lips could even touch. "I, uh... I should go inside."

       "Okay," Jerome said. "I'll... see you later."

       I didn't even move at all. I tried telling myself to leave the car but for some reason, I couldn't.

       I looked at Jerome again and this time, we closed any remaining space between us before our lips pressed against each other's. And for once in my life, I didn't feel any negative emotions. I didn't feel anxious or alone or upset.

       I felt happy.

       Genuinely happy.

____________

awe <3 so cute <3

i've actually been writing on my laptop for the past couples days but i should get back to doing it on my tablet because 1) i can't open a new tab like i can on my laptop so less distractions and 2) MY SPACE BAR ON MY TABLET ISN'T MESSED UP.

i need a new laptop keyboard lol

ps i love jerlan