Ako Na Lang Kasi

10

Chapter10

It was a breezy afternoon since medyo umuulan ulan and we all decided to warm our bodies by soaking ourselves in jacuzzi pool.

Everyone was cheerful yet tired from all the activities we did. Kasi bukod sa water extremes na ginawa namin, nag rapelling din kami and zip line. I wanted to try it so bad at naconvince ko naman si Kuya dun sa idea na yun.

"Dive in, Jayce." Yaya sakin ni Rex. And I saw how their heads turned to look at me. Si Rex lang kasi ang nakaharap sakin. Rex, Lian, Carlo, Ivan and Turk was the only ones who were there.

"What?" I raised my brow as I asked.

I saw Carlo looked away and Ivan was intensely looking at me. "Come on! Malamig na." Sigaw naman sakin ni Lian.

I removed my see-through top and it revealed my black one-piece swimsuit, and some of my skin. Tsaka ako lumubog at tumabi kay Lian.

"Why is everyone so quite?" I decided to break the ice.

Lian smiled at me and said, "You made them shut up."

"Ha?" Pagtatakang tanong ko sakanila.

"Wala. Tara swimming tayo. Let's race." Yaya sakin ni Lian. And it seems like she's taking me away from them. Kaya sinunod ko na lang sya.

-

"5 laps." I breathed. "Ngayon ko na lang ulit to nagawa." I said in betwwen deep breaths.

Lian smiled at me. "This is a great escape from stress." She giggled. "Alam mo yan." And we both laughed.

We relaxed in the pool and talked about lots of stuff. When suddenly we realized we were talking about my past relationship.

"We were too young back then." I told her.

"Yeah. And he was scared." Kumunot ang noo ko. She wasn't directly looking at me. Parang may iniisip siyang maigi.

"What?" I asked in confusion.

Tinignan niya ko. "Carlo." Then she smiled. "He was so scared of what he felt for you." I stared at her unable to speak. "He was not used in serious relationships. Alam mo yan, Jayce. Then he met you. He suddenly forgot about the walls he built around his heart. He felt like everytime you're near, the walls keep crashing down no matter how hard he ignore the feeling. And he was scared to love."

I suddenly felt warm. Parang may mabigat na pumasok sa dibdib ko. And i'm itching to get that out from my system. "He was?"

"Yeah." Lian nodded her head.

I shook my head in disbelief, "And so, was I." Nagulat yata siya sa sagot ko kasi napatingin siya sakin. "I was scared too. I was scared of him, of my feelings for him. And i'm scared of who I am when I'm with him. I kept my mind set that I will not let anyone ruin me because of love. Pero wala eh, nakilala ko siya." I sighed.

I heaved out a sigh and continue, "And that's when I thought, why not? I'm not the girl who would just leave. At least, not just leave. I was also scared on how vulnerable I am with him. But I thought, that's how love's supposed to be. It's giving a person the privilege of hurting you yet you still hope that they won't hurt you. Love is being selfless. And I accepted it. Because I thought he also did." I was smiling.

Lian stared at me. Hindi ko maintindihan yung tingin niya sakin. She knows how much I, damn, loved her twin.

"It killed him. The pain killed him." It stabbed my heart. Pinipigilan ko pa din yung luha ko.