Soulmate

Chapter 3: Jealousy's a Bitch

Alexander

    One month, four days, nine hours, thirty minutes, and five seconds before I supposedly meet my soulmate. It was weird, but I always wondered about her, even when I was younger. Would she be my neighbor? Could she be my lab partner? Did she even go to my school? Was she blonde or brunette or a redhead? (Although, I was secretly hoping for a blonde.) Did she like to read? Would she love me for all my faults? Did she want to defy the system or was she a sheep? I always hoped for the best though. I knew that would set me up for disaster, but I wanted something good to happen in my life, and maybe she would be it. Maybe she would be my sunshine.

    I knew it was cheesy, but I didn't care, I just wanted to meet her. It wasn't like I completely believed in the countdown system, but it was nice to have hope in something. Maybe they randomly selected us to be with someone, or it was just a coincidence that our timers were synced; we see that person as our device falls off, then and force ourselves to make things work. Or maybe, just maybe, it's true, maybe all of this is true; we meet that amazing person who takes your breath away, and you fall in love with him or her at first sight.

     I've seen it happen before. I was there when my older sister, Cheyenne, met the guy she could only describe as the man of her dreams. We were outside talking right after she graduated from high school, and while we were taking pictures, a man approached. His cousin had also graduated that day, so he traveled here from North Dakots. That's when my sister's eyes connected with his, and their devices fell to the ground. They got married within the next year, the anniversary of the day they met, and already have two adorable kids. I was happy for them, but it made me want to have the same thing.

    Jealousy's a bitch.

    I was already nineteen, graduated, and still alone with my timer ticking. It's inevitable, I will meet my soulmate in a little over a month, and I couldn't be happier. Sometimes, it's hard waiting for her to come into my life. I really want to get out there and meet her already, so I don't have to keep wondering who she is. Curiosity is torture, and life wasn't fair.

    When I was younger, I secretly dated a girl because I was so curious about what it would be like. We would hide our devices under long sleeves and would go out to get ice cream, or dinner. We would only hold hands because I didn't want to ruin the plan I had made for my soulmate. I knew Marcy wasn't a girl that I would ever want to be with; she was more of a good friend. Sometimes, I liked being with her, but most of the time she annoyed me. One night, I was driving her home, and when I got to her house she turned to me, looking at me with her eyes the color of a murky lake. She asked me to kiss her.

    I leaned back in my seat and shook my head at her; I probably should've seen this coming. "Marcy...I'm sorry...but I can't...not now. I want to save it...it's this weird thing I've been planning. If it turns out when this time runs out, and you're the one I'm meant to be with, then I won't give it a second thought...I really can't right now...I'm sorry..." I murmured, wishing I could explain my thoughts better. I was never good at this whole talking thing because I was too awkward.

    Her eyes narrowed at me, and I knew she was going to have one of her infamous temper tantrums, the ones I despised. I knew this moment didn't mean very much to her because she had kissed other guys before, but I didn't want to be another guy on her list. I didn't want to be like Marcy. "Seriously, Alex?! It's just a kiss! It's not like I want to have sex with you!" she shouted a little too loudly. She had a voice that carried, and I'm sure her neighbors could hear her shrill screams even though we were sitting in my car with the windows rolled up.

    I bit my lip, I probably should've kissed her to get her to shut up, but I also really didn't want to. It wasn't that I didn't like her, I simply didn't like her enough to commit to her when all I wanted was to meet my soulmate. Plus, we really aren't supposed to do things like this, it could put us on the matching system's radar as anomalies. We are only supposed to be with our soulmates, and we can't be dating whoever we want. That breaks the whole system, and technically the law. I knew she wasn't my girl. "I'm not ready for that. I'm sure you can find a million other guys who are though..." I muttered, wondering if my words would offend her. I knew if I didn't choose them carefully, then I would tell her the truth that I didn't really like her.